To ask for your cringey wedding stories?

[thedysontree]

Was at the wedding of my sister's best friend yesterday. The bride sang "Total Eclipse Of The Heart", as she was walking down the aisle. She's a lovely woman but christ she cannot sing (though I think it would have been cringe even if she was Adele). The husband didn't know she was going to sing and seemed very taken aback by her it.

There was also a wedding a few years ago where the couple had their 4 year old stand next to the vicar and try and read out their vows for them. Being 4, he struggled and everybody was waiting awkwardly while the vicar was trying to help him pronounce words.

So, am I being unreasonable to ask for your cringe wedding stories?

[NcFortuna]

@Zaphodsotherhead

My wedding. Sadly.

We'd hired a caller and all the stuff for a ceilidh after the reception. Some of the guests went off to 'play babies' with two of the new members of the family, the rest went to sit outside in the sun, deciding that they weren't keen on country dancing.

Leaving me and new DH to Strip the Willow single handed. Not so much cringey, but god, I was livid...

Best to always check guests with this kind of thing. I’m quite shy and just couldn’t bear to participate.

[draughtycatflap]

The one where I was with a boyfriend as a plus one and as we approached the hall for an evening reception the bride, in full white meringue, was chasing some guests down the path with a cake knife.

[ChocolatelyAsFuck]

The wedding buffet was really great, actually.

This is the most hilarious line in the entire thread.

[Doubleaxel]

Wedding in which some family member called the groom “Dick” ( his name was Richard) and a fight ensued.... and someone vomited on the bar. Happy days 😳

[giggly]

A relatives wedding where the grooms mother wore those kind of walking sandals with black ankle socks, a plain dark pencil skirt like you’d get in Asda and a bobbly cardigan. Can’t remember what her top was like as it was hidden by the cardie .

[WotnoPasta]

I thought of another. It’s actually a wedding we didn’t go to. One of DHs cousins whom I had never actually met (DH knew when he was little), we live a big distance from his home town, they had also made no effort to meet us when we were there though.
B&G had been dating for 15 years. She lived with her parents, him in his own house. Both religious. Wedding organised very quickly (no pregnancy, and there’s been no children). Wedding on a Wednesday afternoon in term time. We didn’t go, I didn’t know them and honestly they weren’t worth the numerous days holidays. Groom was extremely wealthy but apparently do was very cheap and basic and dry.
My MIL went (FIL couldn’t get time off work), SIL turned only for reception as had to wait for kids to get out of school.
Apparently they were FURIOUS we didn’t go, especially as they had spent so much money on a children’s entertainer (we had no children). Bizarre.

[hadtojoin]

An accountant who came monthly to my workplace got married, next time she came we asked about the wedding. It turned out that on her wedding night before they went to bed her DH told her he was in love with her sister who was her bridesmaid. She went on her honeymoon abroad alone and spent most of the time crying in her room. She had the marriage annulled and never spoke to her sister again.
Another one the brides DF's speech was 1 1/2 hours long with a flip stand of photo's from a baby till now with the stories to go with them. BG's stepdad stood up and said 'thanks for coming, congratulations to the happy couple I expect you're all hungry lets have the food' and sat down.
Another wedding, B&G left the church and went with parents, groomsmen and bridesmaids to a local stately home for 2 hours to have photo's taken. While the guests had to wait at a local pub function room for them to come back before the reception could start.

[FireUnderpants]

At a family members wedding the grooms sister was annoyed that her ds wasn’t a part of the bridal party, so spent all day trying to wedge him in.

She bought a small basket of flowers then nudged him down the aisle with it after the flower girls. All of us sitting near her were speechless.

At the reception she pulled a chair over to the end of the top table and plonked him on it.

During the first dance she encouraged him to join in. He was clinging to the grooms leg, who was telling him to sit down and the bride looked so pissed off. The mum was filming on her phone saying ‘oh isn’t he cute!’

[VenusTiger]

@understandmenow and the time alone part referred to getting it on btw, not wanting to "leave everyone to it" as you said!

[VenusTiger]

@understandmenow - erm, the wedding started at midday and went on till midnight - the guests were all family and we'd mingled the night before (inlaws from Ireland) and my DH and I went to check out our wedding suite - we hadn't yet seen it!! we weren't planning on staying there ALL day, evening and night! We got married in a Hall which had rooms - it wasn't like we buggered off from a church to our hotel - the guests were all downstairs

[Zaphodsotherhead]

My wedding. Sadly.

We'd hired a caller and all the stuff for a ceilidh after the reception. Some of the guests went off to 'play babies' with two of the new members of the family, the rest went to sit outside in the sun, deciding that they weren't keen on country dancing.

Leaving me and new DH to Strip the Willow single handed. Not so much cringey, but god, I was livid...

[ToriaPumpkin]

My wedding, almost 14 years ago. My dad stood up to make his speech and taljed for twenty minutes about my grandmother. Not even his mother, my mum's mum. Him and my mum had been divorced for 10 years by that point and mum was remarried. I think the only mentiin I got was "to the bride and groom"

He then proceeded to get paralytic, drape himself all over my mum (my step dad is a saint and let it all wash over him), pin my cousin to the bar to chat to her for almost an hour and eventually pass out on the bar floor, from where he was lifted into an emergency wheelchair, taken down in a lift and poured into a taxi by the best man and my step dad's two strapping nephews while I sat on the stairs refusing to cry.

The next day he caught me at a meal we'd organised and apologised for being tired and emotional 🙄

[Wrenna]

The first was where the bride and groom had a soloist singing a Very dramatic Wind Beneath My Wings. The second was one with a best man speech that involved much cursing, off color language, unsavoury details about the groom And bride. The MOB burst out in hives and the rest of us sat there with our mouths open, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. They were divorced six months later - not filed for divorce, divorced done and dusted by six months later.

[Pebblexox]

At dh friends wedding 4 years ago. They'd written their own vows.
The bride comes out with this fancy thing, really put a lot of thought into it, super romantic. He comes out with 'you're alrate, I love you' it was kind of silent for a good minute or two, and she looked crushed. They also had a massive argument at their reception because he'd gotten a little drunk, and went outside to talk to his mates to 10 minutes and she didn't understand how he could leave her alone on their wedding day.
Suffice to say they had separated less than a year later,

[Rubbleonthedouble1]

Surely this should be in classics...I haven’t laughed out loud at a thread for so long. This one is hilarious!!

[LittlePeepoToy]

So glad this thread is back :)

[8misskitty8]

Brother of the groom punched one of the brides family At the reception. He said he did it as the brides family member threatened his/grooms father and has stolen some presents. Brides family member said he did nothing. No-one really knows what the truth is.

Another wedding the bride wanted all those wearing kilts to dance to ‘you can leave your hat on’ from the full monty. And at the end lift their kilts/drop boxers (if they had them on) to show her their bums.
Dh declined and she said he was being ‘disrespectful ‘ and it was her day. He said no again and she blamed me for him saying no to her and Told me that I was being clingy and controlling !

[Katinski]

Dear God, I'm crying with laughter.."the bride and her maids all had massive shiners and the brides mother had her broken jaw wired shut"
Oh! and the Morris Men , jingling their way in, then jingling their way out again! Bloody glorious!

[understandmenow]

After photos, DH and I decided to go to our suite for a little time alone - during this, his mother was banging on the door asking to show aunts and uncles around our suite!!! She even knew we were both in there, as she called for my DH to answer the door! Idiot!

you didn't feel the need to mingle with your guests, chat to people, have a conversation and a drink....... you wanted "alone time" at a wedding you were hosting.

Awaits a poster saying we went to a wedding the bride and groom pissed off to their suite after the very boring photos and left us all to it!

[toomanyplants]

Many years ago, now ex BIL married quite possibly the most chavvish girl from an equally vile family.
Dublin was the venue for the hen weekend, one of the bridesmaids arrived at the airport with absolutely no luggage, for a 3 day weekend, stating "I'll just use anyone's toothbrush" then during the flight they kept mentioning "the hostel" (I assumed they meant hotel) nope, it was a full blown bunk bed hostel.
Topped off with a vodka fuelled fist fight, the following week at the wedding, the bride and her maids all had massive shiners, and the brides mother had her broken jaw wired shut.
Astonishingly they used to reminisce about how great it was 😳

[understandmenow]

I didn’t witness this, but a friend attended a huge fancy wedding where the bride and groom split up at the end of the reception! They got the whole thing annulled.
He was Greek with a big Greek family and she was British. Apparently the couple started arguing as his family felt she wasn’t being respectful as she’d asked if the music could be changed from traditional Greek music for the last half hour, to something that everyone could dance to. He ended up snatching her ring back & they split up there & then.

Fucking hell!

[VenusTiger]

After photos, DH and I decided to go to our suite for a little time alone - during this, his mother was banging on the door asking to show aunts and uncles around our suite!!! She even knew we were both in there, as she called for my DH to answer the door! Idiot!

[VirginWestCoast]

I realise that that possibly wasn't "cringey" and is more a car crash of adultery, hatred and very angry parents wrapped up in a VERY expensive wedding.

[VirginWestCoast]

Wedding of an Evangelical Christian friend. I didn't get along very well with his fiancée and there had been a bit of a spat before the wedding of "it's either her or me" (she said this). After the service, the bride wanted to make her own speech, fair enough. The climax of the speech went something like this.
"I am so happy that Jonathan and I have been brought together before God and that he has been saved from corruptive influences..." Points at my table. I wave. Woman next to me, also very religious and friend of both bride and groom, starts crying. Tells the room at large that she "has repented and that the sin was never again repeated". After a lot of confusion, it transpires that she and the groom had had a brief fling and, despite repenting, she was still very much pregnant.

Chaos ensues. Both families screaming at each other, having put aside the respectable Christian fronts to call everybody else a twat. Bride's mother tells the groom that it is truly disgusting, him having sex with two women at the same time (not together, obviously). Groom, perhaps unwisely, points out that, in accordance with Christian tradition, he'd not yet had sex with the bride.
Bride's mother: "Don't, give me that, she's already told me she's pregnant, you just couldn't wait, could you?!" Groom looks very confused.

So both the bride and her friend are about four months pregnant. Bride's friend was having sex with the groom. Bride was having sex with what turned out to be several of the groomsmen. Bride and groom have gone no further than hand holding. The wedding buffet was really great, actually. They are still married but she has, at least, never again referred to me as a corruptive influence.

[speakout]

A simple register office my OH whispered to me " Fucking horrible outfit".