I’m probably being a bit oversensitive but I’ve noticed since moving to the house I now live in (moved in Feb this year - mid terrace but good size) that next doors elder teenage son has taken some kind of offence to my existence.
I’m trying to just let it go as typical teenage arsy-ness and I’ve not lived here long enough to feel comfortable raising it with him or his parents.
I am also aware that - after suffering the loss of my third child earlier this year to stillbirth - I am a bit more sensitive to things than I used to be.
So it’s not constant from the lad, but since we moved here he has:
Trapped my disabled cat in a corner and fired a pellet gun at her. He didn’t know I was in my back garden (he was in his) whilst doing this and the minute I asked if he’d seen her he got very meek. I think his parents had a massive go at him after I’d asked if I could come and collect her (I didn’t mention anything at this point to the parents as I’d only lived here for a few weeks at that stage and didn’t know enough about them). I think this was the start of his dislike towards me.
He has since repeatedly referred to me as the c*nt next door when he’s on the back garden late at night speaking to whoever over the phone (on loudspeaker) and said he’s going to “get her fucking cat next time”.
Throws his fag ends into my back garden - moreso when I’m out there - I’ve had to stop DS eating them twice when he’s found one I’ve missed (eyes like a hawk my DS haha).
Then today. I took DD and DS onto our back garden to play after their lunch and he was hanging out of his bedroom window having a cigarette as usual. I am aware I do talk in a higher pitched voice when playing with my toddlers - I don’t force it, it just happens. Not to a nails on chalkboard level but the usual upbeat, encouraging sort of way that a lot of parents talk to their small children. He starts hurling abuse at me (loud enough for me to hear it but not so loud as his parents hear him) about the way I speak - and I quote here - “doing my fucking head in, the way you talk if fucking stupid”. Said in the usual monosyllabic grunts of a teenaged lad. I ignored him as best I could and continued to play with my twins but I have to admit after that I didn’t speak with them as much.
It’s ridiculous that it has left me so annoyed and I should let it go as it’s not really worth getting into a feud over (I’ve had some pretty aggressive neighbours in life and not looking to repeat the cycle) but I’m wondering if it’s going to get worse and given how vulnerable my mental state is at the moment since losing my baby in April, I just don’t know how to go about sorting this.
DH has been looking for a chance to have words with the lad since the pellet gun incident and I told him not to rise to it as - whilst the parents seem like fair and decent people - if he (DH) starts having a go they’ll defend their son, just as most parents would and it could lead to more trouble than it’s worth! But at the same time I can’t abide being spoken to like I’m something this kid stepped in and him treating my back garden as a flipping ashtray.
I posted last week about going to get the results from the hospital regarding my loss and this seems so stupid considering what me and DH are going through - I’m in a bit of a loop with myself between just ignore him and carry on and feeling that I can’t handle his blatant animosity towards me.
Argh give my head a wobble please MN.
AIBU?
Neighbours Teenager WWYD
NaviSprite · 19/08/2019 21:49
I think Blue Oasis has it on the head. He needs help. Really glad the situation has been addressed appropriately by the parents. Am wondering whether something at school, happening over years, has led to acting out in this way. I worked with kids (bit younger) who had been through stuff and also done stuff they shouldn't but they usually had positive feelings towards animals - but it was a place where more vulnerable kids were, so I didn't see the full spectrum of damage done and behaviour resulting. I absolutely feel for you and I think you've done brilliantly dealing with this - better than I would have coped, I think. Hope you get some definitive info at your next appointment and I am sorry for your loss, OP. 
I only got as far as the cat and I panicked, so apologies. But that needs some serious intervention from literally any other adult /authority figure.
So sorry for your loss .
This is a brilliant outcome. I just hope there's nothing further in the pipeline from this boy. What a nasty arsehole. Sorry for your loss, also. How awful
Im so pleased for you @NaviSprite .
I had a very similar experience with our neighbours daughter being vile to me .
In the end my DH went round... the mum was mortified and iv never heard a peep since .
If something doesn't feel right , it isn't. Being over sensitive isnt a thing - you're feeling sensitive, you've been through trauma, and that is why we should all be mindful of others all of the time.
Because we never know what others are dealing with 
Just an update. I managed to speak with the parents today and they were rather shocked he had been targeting his behaviour towards me and extremely apologetic about the situation.
An hour after our chat his Dad marched him to my front door to apologise to me and to my twins who had to hear his stream of abuse the other day. He obviously wasn’t happy about it and I’m not sure if he will continue his odd fixation.
I tried to speak with him about how his behaviour towards my cat could have resulted with a visit from the police as they do take animal welfare very seriously around here - he tried to argue that it wouldn’t bother him if I did, his Dad then spoke up and exclaimed if he ever gets a knock on the door from the police because of his (the sons) behaviour then he’ll be out on his arse onto the street. They seem like good people who have a hard time martialling their son. I didn’t get any specifics from the parents but they did touch upon ‘difficulties all through school’ and that this lad was actually afraid of cats since he’d been scratched by their old family cat when he was a toddler (the cat was old and he’d grabbed the cats tail and at that age didn’t understand how that can really hurt a cat apparently so the old cat gave him a few very pointed scratches in it’s response).
I have agreed with the parents for a clean slate as they are genuinely so lovely and they have told me (with the son present) that should I feel the need to contact the police if it happens again, they won’t bear a grudge towards me as if that’s what it takes for him to learn then, so be it.
So for now I will be keeping a weather eye out for him (and more successfully keeping cat indoors hopefully!) and we shall see how it goes from here.
I would have called the police to visit him after the incident with my lovely cat as some PP have said, but she was thankfully unharmed and as I didn’t know the family well at all - I didn’t want to start a vendetta. I have had some very nasty neighbours in the past and I don’t think I could handle turning my immediate neighbours against me without first trying to reach a rapprochement with them.
Thank you so much for your lovely comments and suggestions. I don’t know if this will be the end of the situation (I hope it is!) but I feel I have done the right thing for my family in this circumstance - but probably wouldn’t have had the courage to reach out to the parents without your lovely words of encouragement 
I have to say I wouldn't have just logged the incident with your poor cat, I would have wanted the police to at least speak to the little shit.
I hope you can get this sorted out OP
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