to think this might be our worst holiday ever?

[Oneborneverydecade]

We're in the South of France for 2 weeks, arrived Wed. We're staying in a small s/c apartment (think 1 main room, separate tiny kids room and bathroom), no pool but 5 mins from popular sandy beach. We have budgeted £100 per day but obviously France is kinda pricey.
The main problem is the kids; they're 12, 7 and 16 months. The 12 and 7 don't get on, the 12 yo is very much a teenager, the 7 yo has anger issues and the toddler is wonderful but obviously demanding. Plus she still naps twice a day. They're entirely dependent on us for entertainment.
DH is great and does all the cooking, plays with the older 2 at beach etc. We have a hire car.
I know we'd be better off with somewhere with kids clubs - but our accommodation was free so this is a cheap holiday for us.
So AIBU to think this is the hardest it's ever going to be?

[Lovingthesunshine88]

I am also in France with 2 teenagers and on a budget. If you have a hire car i can't recommend going to some of the local lakes they are fantastic a free and are more like small safe beaches and the water is lovely and warm. 3 of the lakes near us have a big inflatable obstacle courses on them and it's €10 for as long as you want they have given my DDS's hours of fun over the years and are suitable for both 7 & 12 year olds you toddler and hubby can play in the sand splash on the water and nap in the shade 👍🏻

[FelicisNox]

YANBU.

Times have changed and we live in an age of technology and constant stimulation, hence why I would never go to the South of France..... not enough to do IMO.

We're In Tunisia on an All Inclusive and the staff are entertaining the kids at the pool whilst I take half an hour out.... it's bliss.

Sorry to rub salt in your wounds... my advice: don't do it again.

[cafenoirbiscuit]

Haribo World at Uzes is a great place to visit. Lots of nostalgic sweets from our childhood too. Great gift shop

[manicmij]

With the age gaps it will be difficult always. There interests, physical and emotional abilities won't match for years. Still, you had the children, so you have to like it and lump it as do the children.

[Toomuchtrouble4me]

Is there a local pool you could use?
Get them up and out early - get older one to walk to local shops with DH to get bread etc - a bit of responsibility often works wonders.
12 is a hard age - too young or too old for so much!
Not much to offer - mine are 5,7,14 and 16 but I do an all-inclusive (with kids clubs for younger ones) and older two are just in the pool or playing tennis all day.Easy.
Good luck - hope it’s fun.

[LittleMy77]

There's plenty of river swimming / picnic swimming round there for free (we were in the same area for 15 years every summer as kids) honestly? i;d avoid the pont du gard unless the kids want to go - its an unnecesary expense to walk across it and park. Same for Nimes - lovely city but I can't see it appealing to kids

We used to find the local pool / river spot and go swimming etc in the morning, then ice cream, home for lunch, sleep and then out late afternoon for the park / walk etc. St marie de la mer is a nice day trip and you can do the beach and the camargue if funds stretch to it

[confusedat30]

I feel your pain. I have 3 kids. It’s hard. All the time. At all ages. Sorry

[ColdTattyWaitingForSummer]

Sympathy with that age gap OP.. My two boys are 17 and 12 (almost 13) and their relationship has always been tricky. I think it’s just too far apart to have much in common, but not far enough that the younger sees the older as an adult. Doesn’t help that they’re both boys (testosterone!!) I find they’re both happier if they get some quality one on one time with me; so perhaps divide and conquer isn’t a bad idea. Hope you have had a better day today, and can enjoy the rest of your holiday.

[Howmanysleepsnow]

To teach a scared 7yo to ride a bike, don’t hold the bike. One hand under each armpit about half an inch from his body. Tell him if he touches your hand he’s lent too far to that side and needs to straighten up. It helps him learn to balance without risk of falling and works way better with nervous dc.

[NotBeforeCoffee]

If you’re lucky enough to be on holiday, you’re lucky enough.

[happiestbythesea]

We are staying in Provence with 3 boys at the moment, so wondered if I might be able to help. It’s my first post on here.....so please be gentle!!
The advice you have been given about Lidl is so useful, and is what we are doing. I feel your pain in respect of the cost of food, and we don’t (can’t) eat out. But....we can make lunches special by packing a very simple picnic and finding a special view......Lidl has far better biscuits and cakes, just visit a few stores to find the best one! They also sell cheap amazing pasteries and breads.
The gorges are amazing fun and free. They are a little way for you, but so is Pont du gard.... we went to gorges at Toulourenc, beautiful and good for you all. Gorge de la Menouge, is fun as it’s faster, better for the older 2. Just google best gorges and you will find them.
The markets here are worth a visit to, but arrive early. The boys seem to eat their way around as stalls will be offering tasters at every turn! I love them for the fragrance and colour. The boys love them to eat and try out French!
One of the first posts was so right. There is an expectation that holidays must be perfect. You’ve saved and planned all year, and the reality rarely matches up. You could download if possible a book for the 12 year old and spend some time in the evening for you? Even just some space to plan is useful.
We love Decathlon too.....someone has already mentioned this....if you haven’t visited....go! Not only is every sporting and water activity represented, often the larger ones will offer the chance for the children to have a go at archery etc....and as suggested a chance to buy cheaply to game to play on the beach or a water toy. Find yourself near us and I’ll happily lend you some of ours.
It’s amazing how the kids adapt and their memories of your holiday will be different.
We have a book, Provence with your family. That has great bucket lists of things for children to see and do. Maybe on line might give you those ideas for your area, if not maybe we can help.
Good luck with your holidays, there is sound advice here and I hope to have helped xx

[aweedropofsancerre]

I wouldnt get so stressed about it. Your abroad, you have DC at different ages. I have a similar issue...so my OH does the sea, takes the now 15 yr old and 12 yr old out into the water, playing etc and I deal with the young one who is 4. Chill, enjoy and accept that the older one might go in moods as that is normal. The only time my OH took off with the DC was to go canoing and there is lots of that in france, i couldnt go as I was pregnant. Its important that you and your D H have time too so in the evening get some nibbles and a bottle of wine for you both.

[RandomUsernameHere]

YANBU that wouldn't be my choice of holiday at all.
I don't see anything wrong with splitting up sometimes, I enjoying spending one on one time with my DCs and don't see it at all as teaching them it's ok to not get on

[Witchinaditch]

No need to split up? Why can’t you and your kids just go to the beach every day? Swim, read, play ball games on the beach, that’s what we did for 2 weeks. If you split up you teach them it’s ok not to get on, they are siblings it’s not ok for them to get on they are stuck with each other at the end of the day!

[ichbineinstasumer]

We were in this area last week with fighty children. Try st Guilhem le desert where there are also caves nearby (la Grotte de Clamouse), and a little bathing area near the pont du diable. If money is tight you can miss out the cave. When we have been on low budget holidays we have opted for ice-cream and evening drinks rather than meals out which quickly become expensive for a family of five. You could also look up Leucate la Franqui for a lovely beach mainly frequented by French people. When my 14, 16 and 9 year olds fight (often) I try to separate them and give them different tasks.

[stayathomer]

You said y o u optimistically thought you'd enjoy it. Get back to that frame of mind!! Family meeting, rally everyone together and get to the beach. Pack of cards or something for when you get stuck. Focus on happying 7 yo up (isn't this amazing etc) best of luck from someone who spent too much of a holiday this year miserable!

[shiningstar2]

Busy days to tire them out the lovely french wine in the evenings when the youngest 2 go to bed. Let the oldest one stay up ...will be happy with technology ...big treat ...everybody happy. Obviously easy evening meals with a couple of takeaways maybe.

[Berthatydfil]

Yes to the Haribo museum. Forgot that in my earlier post.
You get freebies and there’s a massive haribo shop on the site.

[Helenluvsrob]

Challenging age gaps at these stages I’m afraid OP. it’ll get better but that’s not much comfort I guess now.

Many great suggestions up thread. Think like a local. Buy lots of easy food to eat in. Don’t even think about “ cooking “ as in more than shoving pizza in the oven or pasta in a pan. You are on holiday too.

Just for you to laugh at, out worst holiday was in the Scottish Borders in a tiny barn conversion 20yrs ago . You couldn’t shut the kids room door when the cot was up ( they were 2.5 and 6ish ) . Son wouldn’t sleep as the nights were light. The locals didn’t seem to really welcome tourists .... miles to a shop, rained all the time.... and the real cherry on top? The washing machine was both plumbed in wrongly ( hot instead of cold fill ! Husband swapped that ) and the door lock had failed so the smallest opened the door mid cycle several times 😱 .
That was the first week and the second was Cumbria where the friendly farm dog was loud and jumpy so we had to carry them both in every blooming time. We knew the names of all the fish at maryport aquarium by then end.

And the only tv was tellitubbies mid morning ! Why didn’t we go home ? I have no idea!

[Sara107]

Will the baby nap in the car or pushchair? So you can use the sleeps as the travelling time to get somewhere? Apart from working around the naps it doesn’t sound awful. Are there any water park amusement park type places nearby? Can you split up so you, baby and 7 yr old do something (eg go to a pool) while dh and older child do something more adventurous?

[billsnewhat]

This could have so been writing this post last year. We stayed in a caravan on a campsite in the South of France the campsite did have a pool and a little bit of evening entertainment but most families were french or dutch. Last year was exceptionally hot about 37 degrees most days and we just stayed around the pool every day because it was just too hot busy and expensive to do anything else. The kids bickered the whole time, my husband had enough and hired a bike and did his own thing. So I was left with the kids. The whloe having to shop and still cook 3 meals a day really got me down I read 8 books though!!!! I honestly think an all inclusive holiday with things to be the children entertained does take the prressure off and gives you more of a holiday!!! I have friends who have children but hate anything child related ie soft play, swimming pools, parks etc and they have never done anything child related with them - they do hiking holidays in the welsh hills and the kids had never complained and would walk miles until the grandad took the little girl to a camp site with childrens amenties and now she has discovered "a childs world" their argument free hiking holidays are over!!! I was so mentally exhausted last year I couldn't do another self catering holiday abroad this year so we are going away to center parks in october but next year we will look at an all inclusive somewhere because I then think at least you get a break too!! Holidays are hard and in my experience very rarely relaxing!!

[munemema]

Surely the 7yo finds people to play with on the beach and the 12 yo is fine on the beach for a while with a phone MP3 player and a book?

[Nearly47]

*make

[MsTSwift]

1.5 hours to gorges de heric. You hike up from the car park and there are lots of idyllic clear pools it’s a brilliant day out. Take a picnic but stop at roquebrun.

[Nearly47]

Difficult age gap. I found that when my boys are arguing a lot we let them get bored together and they usually manage to find something they can play together. It is as if our attention makes them fight. So I keep an eye on them but let them find something to do together themselves or just given them a very slight nudge and disappear. Play with sand, play fight with water where no much skill required and can be fun for both ages. I wouldn't have days out every day. Expensive and exhausting.
Or male games that involve the entire family. Just back from holidays and we spent hours playing cards on the sun was too hot ( Uno and normal card games) They loved beating us.
You need to facilitate their relationship for your own sanity