Is it a good choice to be a step parent?

[Frugalfox]

I'll start by saying that I'm airing these views on an anonymous forum, I would never dream of saying anything in real life. I know it's none of my business, but I'm interested in the views of mumsnetters and to see if anyone shares my view.

Firstly, I am a step mum to two almost grown ups. I am very fond of my stepchildren but to say it's been hard (and continues to be) is an understatement. If I knew then what I know now, I would NEVER have entered into a relationship with my DH, as much as I love him, the heartache has probably not been worth it.

Anyway back to my AIBU. My friend has a son, aged 22 who is due to marry later this summer. He is a lovely young man, very sociable, good with people, did well at school, has a good job, talented musician, lots going for him. He's young to be marrying these days, but it used to be the norm. His fiancee is the same age and has two children aged 6 and 7, she was a very young mum. AIBU to silently judge his choice? I don't know very much about his fiancee and it's none of my business but just the fact he's going to be a step dad at such a young age. I guess I'm a little biased due to my own experience.

We hear lots on here about step mums and how they can do no right. This is a question about whether its a good choice to be a step parent at all and whether, given the choice, we would all be better if we didn't choose a partner with kids from a previous relationship.

[LatteLove]

I wouldn’t judge him as such,but I’d have run a mile from a guy with kids when I was young. In fact I still would now if I ended up single again. I’d never be a step mum.

[LatteLove]

But honestly if he was my own son I’d be less than delighted at him getting saddled with someone else’s kids at that age. I’d also appreciate I couldn’t do anything about it and keep my trap shut!

[TriciaH87]

I met my partner when my eldest was 1 we got together properly when he was 2. My partner was 22 when we got together I was 21. Almost 11 years later we are still together, have another child and if you asked my son he would say my partner is his dad. His biological ones been awol for 7 years.