To think it's not just my fault?

[LittleAndOften]

I'm on holiday with DH and DS, in the UK. DH couldnt find his wallet. Today we've been to 3 places - a cafe for breakfast, soft play and a cafe next door for lunch.

DH couldn't find his wallet after lunch and told me I'd lost it at the soft play as I was looking after the bags. I have no memory of seeing it, but I'm pregnant so don't always trust my memory right now.

DH went on about how his wallet had been on the table at the soft play, he was adamant. I rang the cafe where we had breakfast and turns out they have it. He now says it was my fault because he asked me if we had everything before we left. I was gathering bags, putting on DS's coat etc.

AIBU to think it's a collective responsibility? DH is adamant it's all my fault

[pickletickled]

What a dick!
He is a grown adult man and should act accordingly and not like a immature 2 year old.
I could not and would not put up with a second of this behaviour never mind weeks.

[Lizzie48]

I'm sorry, but he reminds me of my DDs (10 and 7). It's the kind of argument I constantly hear them having. He's supposed to be a dad and about to have a second child.

YANBU, OP. You shouldn't concede to him, though I understand why you might want to keep the peace.

[NoSauce]

So he’s never wrong? That would drive me daft.

[Crunchymum]

So what else does he blame you for OP?

[Foslady]

Get him a manbag and tell him his wallet his responsibility

[GreenFingersWouldBeHandy]

His wallet: his responsibility! Bloody manchild.

[PickAChew]

What sort of muppet leaves his wallet on a table?

[IceQueenCometh]

Well obviously he won't be leaving it for you to take responsibility for again, will he. Dick.

[CornishMaid1]

If he gave you his wallet to look after (I sometimes put DH's in my handbag if we are out) or you saw it there and choose to leave it behind then maybe it is your fault or collective responsibility. Otherwise, it's his fault.

Tell him you won't hold a grudge against him for him not being able to look after his things and either buy him a manbag or one of those long bungee cords to attach to it so he can't lose it again.

[VampirateQueen]

Not going to lie, I wouldn't fully let this go. I would whilst on the holiday, but if he says to you, can you keep an eye on this for me? I would respond with are you sure I lost your wallet on holiday remember, I think you should look after it yourself.
But then again I'm a bitch.

[LittleAndOften]

I guess when it's really obvious then he'll accept he's wrong, but he is one of those people with an external locus of control, so in the first instance tends to blame the world for things rather than looking to see what he could control/change himself.

Presenting it in isolation like this obviously skews how much of an issue it is in our relationship. It doesn't rear its head that often, and usually I'll say what I need to say and patiently wait until the penny drops some time later. I hate confrontation so would never keep fighting until we're at breaking point.

However today I really needed the mn boost of reassurance as I really felt I was not BU and was v upset. I'm content enough with leaving it for now (I realise this wouldn't work for everyone). He'll realise he's been a twat soon enough!

I need to draw a line under this now. Thanks for all your comments