I'm not sure where to start really and I'm still in shock. Just for a bit of background; we're both mid twenties, in a fairly long distance relationship but were hoping on renting our own place in the next couple of months (he's still at his parents/I rent my own flat).
On Wednesday night he calls me to tell me he's getting a pug - I laughed it off thinking he was joking. I phoned him back and said we weren't in a position to get a dog as we both work long hours, we both quite often are working away etc. I also mentioned that a lot of landlords won't rent to dogs etc. I also told him it should be something we should both decide (I'm really not a fan of dogs and prefer other breeds 100%).
Now the other issue is that on Wednesday night he told me it was his dog, after I (calmly lost my shit) he said it's for his mum as she's been down and feeling lonely (absolutely great idea - she loves dogs and wants one) - all is resolved I'm not having to spend the next 12 years having to deal with the bad decision of puggy... I apologise on Thursday morning for getting the wrong end of the stick as his mum is going to love it. I got bollocked for ruining his moment as he was so excited and he doesnt like being told what to do.
But yesterday he comes home with said pug and it's his dog (or now as he's calling it a family dog but his). It's going to live at his family home and everyone is queuing up to look after it - which he believes it will still happens when he moves out with the pug as it's a 'family dog' that everyone will look after it (guess he's decided we're moving locally then).
I can't get over that he's made such a big decision for both of us - I don't want to be tied down to a dog right now (would be completely different if I met him and he already had a dog) but I'm more upset that he thinks I'm being unreasonable for being upset.
Sorry if this doesn't make much sense as my head's all over the place.
AIBU?
Boyfriend has just gone and bought a pug.
Pugpigprick · 19/04/2019 09:22
When I've done it before he's turned up at my work/flat etc.
This is disturbing behaviour and not normal at all.
It also shows a complete lack of respect for you.
It would be a huge mistake to stay with the man irrespective of the pug
You wrote earlier something along the lines of “we have been getting on really well this week” which I thought was a bit odd too.
Honestly this doesn’t sound like a good/healthy relationship- as others have highlighted he showing you your future .
It’s one where he does what he likes and gets what he wants and you sit down and shut up because you are spoiling his fun.
Leave him and when you do put in writing that you want “no further contact either by social media, phone, text or in person. if he does you will consider it harassment” and if/when he starts with the stalking (which is what it is) you should contact the police who will hopefully nip it in the bud.
Go to the wedding, then split. Then do lots of sadness and then, you pick yourself up and you carry on, finding someone lovely and better for you! Have hope and faith that things will get better...
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