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AIBU?

To be annoyed with friend

132 replies

NC080419 · 08/04/2019 16:58

NC for this...

Friend is getting married this month and I am bridesmaid so have been helping her out. A few months ago she was talking about first dance songs, her and her DF are rockers so she was thinking along them lines.

As part of the convo I said that xyz song is mine and DP's song and it will be first dance when we get married because when it was first released he text me two lines from it, and I responded with the next two, we have been to see the band numerous times together, always sing it in the car to each other, cheesy stuff like that.

At the weekend she told me she is currently "trying to convince" her DF to use xyz song for their first dance, but he isn't convinced. All I text back was "that's mine and DPs song because...(reasons listed above)" I know I told her that was our song and the reasons, but I told her again. She still seems dead set on using it.

I have bent over backwards for her for the last two years as the other bridesmaid hasn't been helping (lives abroad). I am doing her wedding cake the days before the wedding, and she does this?? If said band were to walk across the road in front of her car she wouldn't know who they are.

AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:

Report

NWQM · 09/04/2019 13:20

Have you said 'please do not do that?'

Eliza9919 · 09/04/2019 13:05

This is exactly why I'm not telling anyone the music we pick for our wedding or any baby names we decide on.

People can be arseholes and you are made out to be unreasonable if you get annoyed at someone taking your choice.

I know on here that people love to come across all cool about things like that but in the real world, everyone would be miffed or pissed off if someone close used what you were planning to.

Goldendust · 09/04/2019 12:45

I think you are being vu, it's only a song and how ever many people use it, it can't take away the meaning it has to you. Don't let small things bother you x

LazyLizzy · 09/04/2019 12:42

Let's say you never mentioned this song. She says she is going to have this song as her first dance, would you tell her she still can't use it as it's YOUR song?

In that case I wouldn't say anything. It would just be a coincidence.

But in OP's case it wasn't a coincidence.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 09/04/2019 12:39

It’s a song, you don’t own the rights to it.

HappyMama01 · 09/04/2019 12:37

Let's say you never mentioned this song.
She says she is going to have this song as her first dance, would you tell her she still can't use it as it's YOUR song?

ScreamingValenta · 09/04/2019 12:34

if you tell your friend you're going to buy a dress for a special occasion, and then they buy it and wear it to the same occasion, that's just not a nice thing to do. It's the same thing.

Unless the two friends are having a joint wedding, it's not the same occasion and it's not the same thing.

spanishwife · 09/04/2019 12:31

@ScreamingValenta It's a bitchy thing to do. Nobody 'owns' anything, but for example, if you tell your friend you're going to buy a dress for a special occasion, and then they buy it and wear it to the same occasion, that's just not a nice thing to do. It's the same thing.

spanishwife · 09/04/2019 12:28

@Raspberry88 but it doesn't have meaning to the friend! That's the point

BlingLoving · 09/04/2019 12:00

My god. People are crazy when it comes to wedding. It's a song. It's not yours. Anyone can use it or listen to it. Your friends an idiot that she can't come up with her own song, but that's a separate thing. I also can't quite work out why this is such a big deal. I love a big traditional wedding (had one myself) but the agonising over every single little detail never ceases to amaze me.

LazyLizzy · 09/04/2019 11:48

You don't own a song, but it wasn't even on your 'friends' radar.

If she was a true friend, after your message she would have thought, 'I'll let NC have this one as it means so much.

But she's not a true friend.

Mousetolioness · 09/04/2019 10:31

It's a shame you'll possibly fall out permanently and won't be doing the cake. You could have suggested, or surprised her with, the extra-loving effort of piping one tier in a tight-knit curly-ish pattern and inserted the disguised words 'sodding* song thief' at various points. It's time-consuming but you'd have got it off your chest and had the satisfaction of knowing it was there, hidden in plain sight!

Are your piping skills advanced? The trick is to keep the pattern consistent so whether viewed from close proximity or at a distance the pattern is fluid and knitted, with nothing to indicate anything awry with the piping. It takes some doing.

*insert preferred swear word

KatyaZamolodchikova · 09/04/2019 07:40

My guess is Crazy Bitch, by Buck Cherry. I do also love the Rammsteine suggestions. I may be back later with more guesses.

starshollow1 · 09/04/2019 07:32

YANBU at all. What did she reply to your message?

I would be very explicit with her that this has upset you. If she still insists on using it I would subtly tell mutual friends and family what has happened in advance. If she doesn't like that then she shouldn't have done such a shitty thing.

I should say, all this only stands because it's a song that is such a big part of your relationship. If it was just a first dance song you'd randomly chosen I'd be a little irked but get over it.

ThanosSavedMe · 09/04/2019 07:23

yanbu

Hopefully as her oh doesn’t like it it won’t happen

Ihatehashtags · 09/04/2019 07:20

You don’t have the rights to a song. Weddings are so overrated and everyone gets so uptight about everything.

Cherry4weans · 08/04/2019 23:49

I could understand the yabu posts if she had just chosen the same song, but she only wanted it after you said and hasn't even convinced her fiance (who is the other half of this wedding not you and yours :/ ). It sounds quite sad actually. I would start mentioning it on fb and the likes as suggested by pp. Don't be afraid to use it regardless though. Or just call it out "why would you choose my song don't u have your own?"

FrancisCrawford · 08/04/2019 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 08/04/2019 23:25

It's "Touch my Bum" by The Cheeky Girls, isn't it OP? Your fiance texted you with "You are a cheeky girl" and you texted back with "You are a cheeky boy". You're among friends, there's no shame in admitting it.

BadLad · 08/04/2019 23:23

I have bent over backwards for her for the last two years as the other bridesmaid hasn't been helping

Fucking hell. Two years preparing for someone else's wedding. Is this usual?

And now it's all pissed up the wall over the choice of a song.

BadLad · 08/04/2019 23:20

I hope it's I've Had An Absolute Cunt Of A Day.

I've arranged for that to be my funeral song, but don't let that stop you, OP.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao5Kq0hJwzY

HollaHolla · 08/04/2019 23:14

Bit of Marilyn Manson, or Queensryche?

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DieSchottin93 · 08/04/2019 22:55

Loving the Rammstein suggestions

Kay2705 · 08/04/2019 22:38

Yabu it's just a song

novasglowx · 08/04/2019 22:36

Sticking with Rammstein, Heirate Mich?

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