AIBU to think hairdressers just do what they like?

[Worriedwart18]

I have tried numerous hairdressers in the past 30 years. It seems to never ever go the way I want it to.

I'm not saying colour because that's obviously dependant on your own hair but I'm talking about the cut.

Numerous times I ask for something and get very little done to my hair. Are they just scared in case I don't like it and play it safe or do they just stick to current trends?

I've tried big chains such as RUSH, Toni & Guy etc as well as smaller local hairdressers. I've paid upwards of £75 for a cut and as little as £20 but still makes no difference.

Last week I asked for lots of layers to be put into my hair which is currently past shoulder length. I'm lucky that my hair is thick, straight-ish and grows really quickly. I told her I'm sure at first the layers may look a little short but in a month or so I will get the look I desire..

(Even showed pictures!)

So she cut ONE layer into my hair and fussed about with my fringe. Now I know I should have said something but she was a lovely girl (like they mostly are) so I paid and scurried out. Again it's my fault and I do it every time.

Now I have to find another hairdresser. This happens all the time or they tend to say they will straighten it/blow dry it/curl it to take the emphasis off what I've actually asked for.

Maybe it's just my luck but I've tried so many different hairdressers in my area and I'm running out of options.

I know this isn't a first world problem but AIBU to just want it cut like I've asked? Or is it me?

The only time it's been cut nice was when a friend's girlfriend from LA came to the UK for a month and offered to cut my hair for a small fee. She works in a top salon in LA. She cut it, dried it and then cut it again to get the desired look.

Sadly her and my friend broke up not long after so can't get my hair cut by her again nor can I afford a trip out to LA.

I'm not high maintenance I'm just a mum who likes to treat herself to a haircut 2 or 3 times a year.

TIA.

[Buddytheelf85]

The whole ‘visit the hairdresser every 6 weeks’ thing is pretty much just bollocks made up by hairdressers to get you to visit more often. It’s true of some styles and obviously colours but for long hair or for anyone trying to grow their hair out it’s useless advice.

[DisplayPurposesOnly]

Are you asking for a style or cut that doesn't suit your hair type? Although if you are, they should explain why that won't work for you.

Some times it's worth sticking with a hairdresser for awhile, for them to learn your hair. This assumes they were basically OK in the first place, just hadn't quite got it!

My present hairdresser was a stand-in when my previous one left without notice. She did a 'good enough' cut (but not as good as previous hairdresser) so I continued with her and she's has got better over time. I do have the dubious advantage of hair that grows quite quickly so I go regularly.

[HJWT]

@PlainSpeakingStraightTalking that is a load of rubbish!! I had my hair cut and coloured by a NEW stylist last Nov after 6 months of not cutting my hair she took 5 inches of and put layers in as well as doing a balayage and shaping round my face, never met her before in my life and she did it 10/10!!

It just depends on the stylist, best thing to do is find an independent stylist that post their work on facebook so you can see it!!

[Worriedwart18]

Definitely explain very clearly when asking what I would like and show numerous pictures and I'm not stupid I don't ask for something extreme that I know won't work with my hair.

Will plan with sticking to one hairdresser, I've seen the last girl twice now so maybe I will continue with her as perhaps next time she will cut it to how I would like.

[Steamedbadger]

I think you might need to stick with one hairdresser and get to know each other better. Maybe go back to whichever one seemed closest to understanding what you want and try to work with them. It's always easier to say "So last time you did x and this time I'd like it a little shorter/more layered" or whatever. You shouldn't be afraid to talk about what you do and don't like either.

[SurgeHopper]

It's taken me years to find a good hairdresser.

She does as I ask, she does it quick, no small talk and she's cheap!

Worth the wait.

[b0bb1n]

I once asked for a long wispy fringe that comes down to or below my brows. I kid you not she gave me a pixie fringe.

[SmallFastPenguin]

If what you want won't suit your hair or there is another reason why it can't be done the hairdresser should tell you and give you a recommendation not just agree to what you say but do something very different.

[Rainsunshine]

YANBU in my 20+ years of having my hair cut of my own accord, I’ve met maybe 1 or 2 who have been good enough.

Too many nowadays are slap dash, not bothered or just clearly don’t have the skills!

[Nanny0gg]

I'm not stupid I don't ask for something extreme that I know won't work with my hair.

It doesn't have to be extreme not to work. There are lots of fairly simple styles I would love but the texture of my hair won't hold them and they'd look terrible.

[BeardedFuckingLady]

A lot of stylists don't bother to keep up their skills. They do their 2/3 years training and then are let loose and never do any more training. They develop bad habits and short cuts that then impact on their work.

You need to find somebody who has a love for the industry, who goes on additional training courses or attends regular shows / events. Or even just someone who follows the industry online, or practises new skills at home on block heads to keep up to date with new techniques.

Sadly; these people are few and far between, and part of that is because they can't charge a premium for their services as nobody wants to pay more for it, as hairdressing is already so expensive.



Yes. I may have been one of these people before quitting the industry due to the diabolical pay, hours, conditions and customers. Not to mention the impact on my back. rant over

[thecatsthecats]

My hair is lucky if it gets cut twice in one year

I have had wonderful stylists do something great with it, and stylists like you describe.

The worst of the bunch refused to cut my hair to the same length as the photo - the photo was of ME! She then huffily insisted she'd put the layers in to see if I liked the length. When I insisted she go shorter after that, she cut off the underlayer, leaving no layers...

Funnily enough she also berated me for not cutting my hair every six weeks. That seems to be a get out for poor stylists.

[puppymouse]

My God it's not just me! This is every haircut ever.

I particularly hate the straightening and blow drying, plus my hair being flattened and smoothed down either side of my parting which I don't use and when I specifically said body and big hair... I cry and wash my hair the minute I get home every time.

[Florescentadolescent]

TBH 2 or 3 times a year, you aren't looking after your hair, it should be cut monthly, 6 weeks at worst.

My mums and hairdresser and I don't bother getting my hair cut that often.2- 3 monthly is normal.

Op maybe the styles your asking for arn't actually doable for your hair? Or if it's not what toy want you could ask for more doing when the cut is finished. The hairdresser might be waiting for Yr input.

[Frequency]

I'm a hairdresser. Unless something drastic happens like the time I let a student cut my layers, I get an inch off my hair around twice a year, sometimes three times a year if I go OTT on the heat and backcombing etc over party seasons.

My daughter has a bob. She gets a trim once every three or so weeks.

It depends on your hair length, growth rate and style as to how often you need it trimming.

[Flicketyflack]

I agree with you op.

My hair has a wave/curl to it & this seems to perplex most hairdressers.

I am currently'recovering'from an awful cut that cost £60. It is the third time she has cut it & obviously felt the need to create a style! It is too short now

I have no answer! I have tried many places and unfortunately the turn over of hair dressers seems huge. I am tempted to let it grow to one length and tie it back

[CountFosco]

I do think a lot of the problems some people have with hairdressers is because a lot of women have long hair and don't get it cut regularly. While I agree that you don't need regular haircuts with long hair I do think any significant change to your hair is most successful by a hairdresser who has cut your hair several times and knows your hair. I have a short pixie and well behaved hair and get my hair cut every 6 weeks. But if my hairdresser changed then I'd want a minimum of 3 'trims' before we had any kind of discussion about changing my hair.

So, ask your friends with good hair (shortish so in a style, not just all one length) who cuts their hair. Then go to that hairdresser yourself and get a trim. Become a regular customer. If you are happy with how they cut your hair ask them how they would change your hair if it was up to them. Then ask if they think a picture of your desired hairstyle would work for you with your hair and what maintenance it would need. Make it a conversation so you get something you like but that will work with your hair and lifestyle. I put nothing in my hair and always emphasis that, I want something that will work with no product.

[EngagedAgain]

I've tried giving hairdressers several chances, after being told by friends they have to get used to you, and that didn't work. I once went to someone who cut it perfectly, next time I went it was frumpy and worse than before I went in. I think cutting skills aren't as good as they used to be, it seems more about colour and straightening hair which is actually got an easy cut.

[Gardai]

I feel your pain OP. I’m currently sporting a 1920’s strict librarian look in hues of yellow...courtesy of my hairdresser of 3 years who was given photos, nodded, pretended he understood the pics of the graduated lob in pale blonde.
I’m sad ☹️

[XiCi]

I do think a lot of the problems some people have with hairdressers is because a lot of women have long hair and don't get it cut regularly

Thinking about it this is probably a big factor. More or less everyone just has long hair these days or extensions. When I was younger there was a multitude of interesting styles around. I think there are less talented and experienced cutters as everyone just gets a trim.

[seven201]

I have his problem sometimes. If I'm in the mood I'll just ask them to add more layers when they ask if it's done, but quite often I'll just say thanks and pay up feeling a bit deflated!

I too only go 2 or 3 times a year. My hair is in good condition and I just don't need to go very often. Every 3 months would probably be best, but I don't enjoy going to the hairdresser so always put it off.

[TimeIhadaNameChange]

Do you have a college near your that has a salon? The students will always be supervised and you'll get the opinion of more than one person so that may be useful.

My problem is that my hair is wavy. It sometimes straightens with straighteners (though the effect rarely lasts) but most hairdressers understand that whilst it hangs straight while wet it really doesn't when dry!

I've also encountered problems trying to go from long to short. I was refused by both a stylist who'd never met me before and one I'd gone to for years who liked my hair long too much to chop it. Eventually I found a salon owner who listened to my woes and promised to chop add much off as I wanted.

[RosaWaiting]

OP have you tried going to a "no frills" hairdresser?

I find they just do as you ask, as well as being cheaper. I tried a couple of other salons on offers etc. I've had someone try to ignore "no texturising" and also someone try to cut in more layers when it's been clear what was asked for.

I had to really pay attention and stop them.

I have a no frills, dry cut - no faffing and they just do as they ask. I have a picture of it so doesn't matter which staff are on.

it's rubbish that you "need" to cut hair every six weeks, unless you are going for a super high standard of grooming.

[EngagedAgain]

Gardai, what you said confirms another thing I believe that some hairdressers get set in their ways. Ok when doing the same thing. Also most are only ok with straightforward styles. To those who have curly/wavy hair I am green with envy!

[GottenGottenGotten]

Yanbu.

My son took a photo in of himself, from his last haircut (different hairdresser 400 miles away). That should be easy to replicate, but Apparantly not...

I took in a photo of a short choppy bob - and got a short back and sides...