to leave the hob on?

[howmanybiscuits]

If you were in the middle of cooking dinner and got called away unexpectedly, so you would be out of the house for about 10-15 minutes what would you do in this situation?

10 yr old DS is absorbed with the computer in the front room.
Potatoes are cooking on the hob.

Which of the following are OK (if either)?

1. Turn hob off, leave DS on computer.

1. Leave hob on low, leave DS on computer, tell him don't go near hob

(Difference of opinion here!)

[Lovestonap]

With this sort of thing I often think people say they'd do one thing but perhaps aren't really honest.
Imagine a newspaper story. 10 year old dies in fire after being left alone to cook dinner on gas hob. How many would think 'ah, just a sad accident' and how many 'what bloody parents leave their ten year olds alone to cook dinner on an open flame?'

[howmanybiscuits]

But did he tell your DS he left the hob on and that DS needs to keep an eye out?

Depends a lot on how responsible DS is really, I would've absolutely fine with this at 10.

Yes DP did tell him but DS has high functioning ASD (and possibly also ADHD). He's a sensible child and absolutely fine on his own in the house for a short time (unlikely to shift from the computer!)

But he does tend to take instructuons very literally and therefore sometimes not quite as you intended them. He's also very easy distracted / absorbed in other things.

[trebless]

Wow can't believe how many people would leave their 10 year old home alone 🤷🏻‍♀️

[howmanybiscuits]

Wow can't believe how many people would leave their 10 year old home alone

Leaving a sensible 10 year old home alone for 15 minutes is perfectly fine in my opinion.

At that age I'd been going to school 2 miles across London by bus, little sister in tow, for several years.

I used to visit my grandparents in the holidays, 2.5 hours away by train - my parents would put me on at one end and my grandparents would meet me at the other. And I did a cross-atlantic flight on my own at the ago of 10.

And all before mobiles existed.

This is more independence than I give mine - times have changed - but being alone for 15 minutes, especially when he knows how to call if he needs help, is perfectly acceptable IMO.

[Zooop]

My 10yo walks herself to and from school by herself (15 minutes walk), stays home by herself for up to an hour and can cook basic meals (only allowed when there’s an adult in the house). How on earth will she turn into a sensible adult if I don’t start teaching her stuff like this now and help her build up to being independent?

[AssassinatedBeauty]

You were going across London by bus as 6 year old with a younger sibling in tow? Wow.

[G5000]

I can't believe how many people wouldn't leave a 10 year old home alone. For 15 minutes, we're not talking about buggering off to Spain for 2 weeks.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Zooop I imagine people teach them these things when they are a bit older?

[Zooop]

Assassinated But how is that better? I can see no argument for leaving a lot of life skills until the mid or late teens? Much easier to teach a 10yo than a potentially stroppy teen, plus it spreads out the learning and gives you a chance to practice and embed it. If others prefer to start later it’s their choice, but I couldn’t see any reason to do so, given my circumstances and my 10yo.

[howmanybiscuits]

You were going across London by bus as 6 year old with a younger sibling in tow? Wow.

Where did you get 6 year old from?

I can't remember what age I started doing this. I know I got a flight on my own aged 10, that I'd been travelling on intercity trains for a short while before then and going to school on my own for ages before then.

I might have been 8 when I started doing this I guess. Certainly by 9. My sister would have been 6/7.

[howmanybiscuits]

My mum would walk us to the bus stop, and the bus stopped outside school. On the way back we got a different bus home - the bus stop was 10 minutes walk from school but it meant we didn't have to cross any busy roads (most of the walk was through a park, 2 quiet roads to cross).

I think my sister and I were probably 8 and 6 when we started doing this. Perfectly normal in the early 80s.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

You said "several years" by the age of 10. Several to me means more than 3.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

@Zooop also, not leaving a child unsupervised doesn't mean that the child isn't being taught those skills. They're just being supervised whilst they do it.

I can't understand the shock and outrage over people having different opinions on what they would do with their children. People are different.

[clary]

I would leave the hob on but turned right down.

A ten year old doesn't need to be to,d to keep away from it! Tell him to keep an eye for it boiling over if that's what your worried about, or turn it if find f you're not back in 30 mins.

[clary]

I've read other responses now and I am surprised by how many people say the pan is unattended. There's a 10yo there! My DC were cooking things by themselves (cookies, brownies, beans on toast ) by this age.

[bigbluebus]

Even at an older age I wouldn't leave DS on a computer/playstation to be in charge of anything in the kitchen. I would always tell him to come into the kitchen for 10 minutes and keep an eye on the hob whilst entertaining himself with something less addictive and engrossing than technology.

But I wouldn't leave an unattended pan on the hob whilst I went out (and a 10 year old on a computer means it is as good as unattended)

[cuppycakey]

I would have turned the hob off and I would not have left a ten year old alone.

[AllPizzasGreatAndSmall]

Wow can't believe how many people would leave their 10 year old home alone

A child who is 10 year old could be going to secondary school in September - getting themselves there, coming home to an empty house for a couple of hours after school, going out with friends with no parent present etc. Obviously it depends on the child but an average 10 year old is fine to be left for 15 minutes.

[EngagedAgain]

Depends on the child, as in what they've previously done or been taught. If nothing I wouldn't go out without them, and turn hob off as well. If they are fairly savvy, I'd leave them there and still turn hob off, and at least put pan to the back of hob and tell them about it. Even if I was popping out alone I'd turn it off, because if you got delayed there could be problems. More so if gas. Suppose the flame went out?

[sirfredfredgeorge]

I'm more concerned about the poor potatoes, just how long were they being cooked for? They'd already been on, then the 15 minutes journey, and then presumably some long time, the poor tasteless things.

(but I can't see a 10 year old kid who could be left alone that could not also supervise them in my mind, so it is odd)

[EngagedAgain]

Disclaimer- it's been a long time since I had a ten year old, so maybe I'm a bit out of touch! I definitely wouldn't leave a hob on, even if I left them alone for just ten minutes. Probably would leave them there but tell them I'm popping out.

[Ninkaninus]

10 years old is absolutely fine to be left for a little while at home, as long as the child is sensible.

My daughter went to secondary school on her own (walk to station - train journey - walk on the other side) every day from the age of eleven, she was perfectly capable of doing so and perfectly capable of being left at home for a reasonable amount of time at the age of ten.

[clary]

I wonder if m view is different from some because my 3 all went to Cubs and Scouts so did cooking there and at camp? I recall ds2coming home and making by himself a cheesecake he had done the night before in Scout ready steady cook - he couldn't have been older than 11.

[Ninkaninus]

I cooked full breakfasts, lunches and the odd dinner starting when I was nine, and I also would have been just fine to be left alone for even a few hours at a time when I was ten. It really does depend on the child, though.

[woollyheart]

I was in a similar situation, and turned the job off and left the potatoes in hot water. Later when I tried to complete cooking them, they took ages but stayed hard and inedible.

I was very confused. But then I heard a cook on television explaining that the starch in potatoes can react this way, and the potatoes remain hard.

I've been more careful about cooking potatoes entirely in one go after that.