My partner is depressed

[3in4years]

My partner has a history of severe depression. We suspect is is also on the autistic spectrum. He is lovely, which is why I chose him as my partner, and loyal, and hardworking. But he is so difficult to live with.
He does no admin at all. Doesn't open letters, deal with bills, speak on the phone to anyone. He has to be asked to do housework or put his clothes away, has no initiative with things like that. He is also very moody and flies off the handle easily. I find the way he talks to me really rude sometimes.
At the moment he is really stressed and argumentative. He has asked me to make a doctor's appointment to ask for anti depressants. He came off these when he met me 8 years ago but is feeling very low again now.
At the weekend we had family over and he was vile to everyone. Now his parents are really concerned about him, and keep asking me to do various thins to support him, which I am.
But how do I get past the fact that he is so awful to me and the kids? I am tired and stressed. I am breastfeeding through the night. I am keeping the house going and supporting him, but all I get in return in moodiness and anger all the time.
Has anyone else had to cope with depression in a partner. How did you do it?
Thanks

[3in4years]

Sorry, I just realised this is AIBU. Wrong place for it but I appreciate the replies.

[3in4years]

Sirzy, his appointment is today. I am glad he has reached out for help.

[3in4years]

Thank you for the replies. It is getting so hard that he wants to change, so I think he would be open to various ways to help, even though he finds talking to people so difficult.

[Sirzy]

It sounds like the first point is helping him arrange a docotors appointment. The fact he is acknowledging the issue is a big step

[SuperLoudPoppingAction]

If he is autistic, approaches for neurotypical people might not work.

Would he pursue a diagnosis?

[Jauralane]

I haven't but you sound like a lovely person, sending you