Husband not making bottle according to instructions

[Reccy2018]

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable. I have no doubt I'll be told if I am!

Have moved nearly 9 m/o to formula in preparation for me going back to work. Got a perfect prep second hand and powdered hipp organic formula. Back of box says 4 x 5oz bottles for her age - so far so good.

Except it specifically says to level off the scoop. I do this, as I always follow instructions. No individual thought here. If a recipe says 500ml of stock, I'm using 500ml of stock. Not 550ml, not 450ml. That's the rule. I'm sticking to it.

My husband DOES NOT level off the scoop, but neither is it heaped. He just kind of jigs it, thinks "good enough!" and away he goes.

I made a massive deal out of, asked him why he wouldn't use it, and he said because it's not needed. A big row ensued, now not talking and apparently I can go fuck myself.

He will be looking after the baby 2 days a week as I'm going back full time.

Is this a problem? The scoops, not the row.
In a way, I hope I'm being unreasonable. But it does very clearly say to level off the scoop!!

[Reccy2018]

Bugger. Better apologise. Dammit.

I'm not a creative. People think I make my own clothes but I literally just follow the steps. Same with baking and cooking. Follow instructions (if I'm feeling fruity, I might put an extra garlic clove in).

I'm great at flat pack furniture.
Not so good for raising a baby

[Reccy2018]

Sorry, people think I am because I make my own clothes that should say

[ethelfleda]

YABU for always following a recipe precisely. Every knows
You should put more garlic in

[CherryPavlova]

Bottles should be made up fairly accurately but using a leveller isn’t necessarily more accurate. The levelling tool compresses the powder a little so it will contain more or, more likely, the same amount of powder as a shaken flat scoop.
I think I’d encourage you to relax a little.

[Holidayshopping]

Good enough is fine by me!


In my day, I made up 24 hours worth of 8 oz bottles in advance with boiling water AND the formula already in it and then kept them in the fridge, so I should probably be sent to milk prison . This was a long time ago though and all babies are thriving hefty teens now.

[Birdsgottafly]

If he can't be bothered to do it properly, what else would he slack on?

Being fed correctly is a basic need.

I'd wonder why it doesn't matter to him, tbh.

[Birdsgottafly]

Holidayshopping, your way is fine, it's mixing the formula in cold water that is an issue.

[TrixieFranklin]

Oh god back when my twins were having 16 bottles between them a day I'm sure I used to just shovel in the powder heaped or not heaped

[Holidayshopping]

@Birdsgottafly oh, that’s good to know! I remember that the HV I spoke to when I had DC3 was appalled I was making them up like that! I forget why-it had been fine with my older kids.

[TrendyNorthLondonTeen]

"If he can't be bothered to do it properly, what else would he slack on?

Being fed correctly is a basic need.

I'd wonder why it doesn't matter to him, tbh."

Aw shut up.

[Hazlenutpie]

Even for a nine month old baby, it's important.

[cantfindname]

The easy solution is for you to make up the bottles in advance and leave them in the fridge for him. Sorted.

[Reccy2018]

Can I do that? It says they have to be drunk within 2 hrs though?

[SurgeHopper]

Yes you can do that. Make a batch up, store in the fridge

[SurgeHopper]

Ie. A day's worth.

[Bobfossil2]

It says on the nhs website that you can make them up and store them in the fridge.

[Reccy2018]

Winner! Problem solved!

[ZippyBungleandGeorge]

@Holidayshopping I do that now, DS has top ups as my supply can't keep up with him. HV said it's fine as long as you don't keep them longer than 24 hours and much better than using cold water as it's the powder that needs sterilising not the water.

OP I use Hipp and it actually says on the box number of feeds etc are guidelines, I don't use anywhere near the ounces they suggest for DS as he's mainly breastfed. Before I had the Hipp plastic box I used to shake because it's impossible to do on the cardboard box without getting powder everywhere. If they were heaped you'd risk constipation but he is leveling them in his own way

[YourSarcasmIsDripping]

I'm great at flat pack furniture.
Not so good for raising a baby


I suck at both.

[Dyrne]

Reccy 2018 making them up in advance and leaving them in the fridge is about as “naughty” as shaking to level rather than the ‘official’ method.

I think part of this might be your anxieties about leaving your DC coming out to play.

Please trust that your husband can do something as basic as feed his child, or it may cause damage to your relationship.

If he was leaving them heaped it would be one thing, but he’s shaking off the excess.

[SaigonSaigon]

Why don't you buy those little powder pots that Tommee Tippee make so you put the powder in there for each bottle. If you've done this, you know your husband is decanting exactly the right amount of formula into the water. He doesn't have to do it. Job done.

[FrozenMargarita17]

Would it really be that hard for him to just level it?! YANBU.

[Karwomannghia]

I think the bigger issue is the way he spoke to you, he couldn’t accept you criticising or questioning him so he starts being abusive. You were only concerned about the welfare of your child, now you’re left feeling unsure and scared of speaking up again, oh and preparing feeds for him beforehand.

[Butteredghost]

Oh dear OP, I thought you were going to say you had a newborn and your DH was putting 3 extra scoops per bottle or something. He is making them up completely fine!

[JazzyBBG]

For a v young baby this would be really bad. I'm less sure at 9 months but as milk should still be their main food source I wouldn't risk it, it can make the salts/sugars balance off kilter and damage kidneys.