to ask whether you like your Stepmom

[Kneehigim]

and if so at what age did she enter your life?

I don't consider mine a Stepmum.

I despise her and I was 17. I don't speak to her or about her. She is a cunt of the highest order.

[Frazzlesareheroes]

Mines lovely. Married my dad when I was around 9ish. They asked me to be a bridesmaid but I didn't even go. I thought it would upset my mum.

My mum keeps referring to her off/on again boyfriend as my step dad They aren't even living together, let alone married! Plus I'm 28, with 2 kids of my own and I live 100 miles away. He is not my step dad, petulant child stamp

[FudgeBrownie2019]

Slightly different but I love DS13's Stepmum, and so does he. She's been around for over 10 years, she loves him and has been such a lovely part of his life, and makes his Dad happier than I've ever seen him. It makes me so happy to know that DS13 has that stability when he's there.

[MsMustDoBetter]

My stepmother used to be my friend, so no, we don't get on.

[flumpybear]

Mine arrived when I was about 18 ... previous one was nice (I was 13-16 then) but turned out to be mentally unstable so did all sorts of weird things like threatening me with scissors, locking herself in a room for days on end, she was sectioned a few times - sad times but I did like her during the good times.

Second one was fucking dreadful, real Cinderella where she was the wicked stepmother and had two ugly hideous daughters and they could do no wrong, yet me and my brother were the villains apparently .... she lied a lot, was thick as a post so got caught out many times with her lies about us - did t stop her though. She was a grade A card carrying arsehole

[golddustwomen]

I LOVE mine, would be lost without her. They've been together since I was 15 and I've loved her from the moment I met her. My kids call her nanny, she will always be their nanny too.

[EveryNameYouTake]

Mines a manipulative witch. Nearly 2 years non contact with her now. Bliss.

[redcaryellowcar]

No.

[PrismGuile]

Mixed. I get along with her well and she includes me, we have fun. I'll always resent her a bit though I think (affair).

I was 13 when she came on the scene.

[Missmother]

My Stepdad is great though and even he and my father have went to the pub together, my mum and dad are good friends too, except SM is jealous of this, pathetic.

[Missmother]

Mines came into my life at age 14, she was 24, she used to give me drink and go to the shops for cigarettes for me so clearly I thought she was cool.

Well, as the years have gotten on then she always falls out with me when she’s angry with my dad, she also cheated on my dad with his brother whilst I was in the house, don’t get me wrong, my dad hasn’t always treated her properly but ffs, don’t involve me, I was only 18 at the time too.

She hates my mum too with a passion, but it’s just pure jealousy that he had a life before her, my mum and dad split when I was a baby so really, there’s no need to be jealous.

Currently we’re okay, but god knows how long that will last.

[Travis1]

Can they be a 'stepmum' if they are younger than you?

Mines is a vile cretin and I have no relationship with my 'dad' because of her. She lied about pregnancies, had her sisters abuse me and my mum in the street, sent awful messages. Anyone would think she'd been cheated on not the other way round but hey ho. Though he isn't actually my Dad, he and my mum just lied to me for over a decade about being my Dad.

'Stepfather' is an utter prick who made my mum choose between keeping him or throwing my 20 year old, unemployed ADHD brother out. She choose to kick my brother out and thus began the demise of our relationship.

So now I'm NC with both parents and actually have a couple of surrogate mother types who are great friends that I would go to lobg before I would contact either parent.

[EnthusiasmIsDisturbed]

No

We all know why she went after my dad (money) and has succeeded in getting him to sell the family business. We are not made to feel welcome but now ignore her

She is very odd but my dad is to blame too his previous wife took him to the cleaners he doesn’t learn he is a player and I know he hasn’t changed

[funinthesun19]

I was 19 when I met my stepmum. I was 18 when she met my dad. She’s an amazing lady and 10 years on its as though I’ve always known her.
She’s made my dad very happy and we’ve always got on so well. And she’s an amazing nanna to my children.

My stepdad on the other hand is a whole other story. Stepdads aren’t always “the big hero” like some people think they are.

[Believability]

That’s a good question. I respect mine and have very mixed feelings towards her from absolute hate because she can be so difficult and vile to knowing that if I really need her she’ll be the first one to come running. She has been in my life for nearly 40 years. As a child I hated her, she wasn’t very nice to me and was almost certainly verbally abusive. As an adult I veer from hating her the same way as she can still be so horrible to loving her when she can be good fun and very kind.

I do have utmost respect for her that she took on a family and tried her best to make it work. It’s not great but she does generally make my dad happy and I think I’d feel that something was missing if she wasn’t in my life. It’s a funny one

[mumsiedarlingrevolta]

My DFather could be a thread bad soap opera all on his own:

Stepmom #1 was the OW but I didn't know at the time. I was about 10 and I adored her. She was fun and loving and we loved our blended family-her 2 kids-and am still in touch with all of them despite it ending in tears about 10 years later when he once again cheated (this time with his PA)

Stepmother #2 was only a few years older than me and I despised her, and I think the feeling mutual. This started a long period of much less contact with my Dfather.

#3 never married (no idea why) but long term relationship. My DSis and I always wonder if there are other children but none that we know of. She was lovely

#4 felt sorry for her more than anything. she asked if I thought she should marry him and I said "no he's a shit husband" so of course she did. She was lovely to us but by this time we were adults so not such an issue.

#5 current wife. she's fine. hopefully the last one. but every single one over lapped which I watched play out growing up.

Dfather handsome and charming and a player.
I asked him once why he kept marrying them-he loved the initial rush of falling in love. Believed it every time. But got bored in day to day life. Sad really.
I wisely chose a very different DH as did my DSis.

Feels amazing to have actually written this out..

[curiousandterrified]

@BillThePony yep my folks also went to each other's weddings and big events and I always had stepmom, stepdad and mum and dad at all my parents evenings

[curiousandterrified]

I'd known my step mum since I was 18 months old. She never had her own children.

I adored her, I had two mums in my heart. She was kind funny and often my first port of call for many things. She was tough with made and without a doubt made me the way woman I am today.

I lost her a couple of summers ago unexpectedly and I still don't think I've come to terms with it. I often expect her to walk in.

She was the best nana and dd often talks about her... it's sad we're expecting another she will never meet. It just doesn't seem right.

[bushtailadventures]

Mine is lovely, couldn't wish for better. We had a rocky start (I was a brat) but she has forgiven me. When I got pregnant at 18 she was on my side, and she has been an awesome grandmother to my dc, and has welcomed my dgd with open arms too. My dad got very lucky when he married her, as did my brother and I

[MistressDeeCee]

Not really. She ok but I'm not particularly interested in her, and don't like the way she tried to commandeer my children when she came into my dad's life. They like her well enough, but they don't really know her and they already have a grandmother - my mum.

There was a bit of one upmanship going on and I put a stop to it.

I was an adult when they got together. She didn't wait for my dad to introduce us, she found out where I worked and then came there.

I think she's good for my dad, they seem to have a nice relationship. I'm polite when we meet, but that's all. There is a feeling though, that I should be much closer but I don't see why. She's my dad's wife but she's not my mum.

[CanILeavenowplease]

This is a horrible thread

Why? Because it has allowed people to express their less than perfect experiences? Because quite clear,y not all step parents are saints? Because there are so many adults out there prepared to screw over their own children for the sake of their own —perceived— happiness?

I agree it makes for grim reading but of it makes some people think about their own behaviour or shows others that they were not alone or it wasn’t their fault, that’s positive, surely?

[Wallywobbles]

Mine changed my life for the better. We lived with them full time. DM had died 3 years earlier when we were 7, 10,14,16 and my step siblings' father had left them so we were one family. 6 kids. She stepped up 100%.

Absolutely love her. I live in a different country now and go back to see her a couple of times a year. She's granny. And she's taken on my step kids too. Despite the language barrier.

I'm a step mum and I've tried to do as she did. We have DSC 50/50 which is harder than one set of parents.

[CaptainMarvelDanvers]

I prefer my step mum over my dad. One of things I miss after disconnecting with my dad is my step mum. I feel bad for her too as she is stuck supporting him, he’s a sponger.

I don’t like my stepdad, he’s a real petty person. It’s like a competition with him about who get’s my mum’s full attention, when my eldest nephew came along he was ridiculously jealous. He also didn’t let us watch tv, even if he was in another room playing on the computer.

My mum had an evil step mum, like proper evil, but ultimately her dad let it all happen.

[Brilliantidiot]

I hardly know my stepmum, they as a family emigrated when I was in my teens and I've seen them once since. Always made very clear that I wasn't part of the family though. She already had a daughter and they went on to have a son.
One example would be them all going on the holiday of a lifetime and visiting my grandmother who I've met a handful of times but had a close relationship with by letter/phone. So I didn't get invited on the holiday and got brought back a t-shirt. 😕
The strangest thing is that it never occurred to me this was out of order until my mum mentioned it many years later. It had never occurred to me that I could have been included.
Tbf it was as much my dad as her, I was surplus to requirements really, and it was made known. Same with my mum and stepdad. Have a great relationship with brother and sister from that side though, and the dog loves me

[NorthernBirdAtHeart]

Tried to love mine but she’s made it clear she’s not interested. She cane into my life when I was 15, she was 22. She got what she wanted (my dad and her own 4 dcs, my half siblings) and has since made sure my dad has nothing to do with his 5 GDCs. She was always hard faced but I thought she would change when she had her own children. Nope, she’s still a cunt.

[pobsgirl]

Hate mine. Constantly tries to drive a wedge between me and my father, everything is a mind game, she's exhausting, nasty and a very sad individual.