To feel a little terrified of what's just happened

[Ency]

I suddenly woke whilst breast feeding my 6 week old, when i checked the time it was 01.49. The thing that's scaring me is that I have no recollection of putting him on to feed - like total zero memory of him/me waking and getting him on for a feed. I'm genuinely quite concerned, it has genuinely scared me. AIBU?

[cjt110]

For weeks, I would feed DS and we'd all go back to bed. DH and I both woke, panicking that we had fallen asleep with DS in the bed with us. When we knew we had put him back in his moses basket. I think the tiredness and the newness of being parents plays overly on your mind.

If you are really concerned, then try to get up and go into another room rather than back to your bed to feed. It might "wake" you a little more.

[Bananabus]

I used to wind DS thinking I had already fed him. I hadn’t. My brain was playing tricks on me to get me to sleep for longer. DS soon let me know that he was hungry though!

[Missingstreetlife]

Apparently we don't remember the last couple/few minutes before we go to sleep. So you were probably functioning ok when you started but just dropped off. No harm done.

[Talith]

Sounds like fairly typical sleep deprivation - the line between waking and sleeping gets awfully blurry - it's horrible and unsettling. I remember thinking my three week old was singing to me as I fed them then jolted awake to a dark room with everyone asleep and I was freaked out as heck because it was entirely "real".

Hope you can get some extra rest xxx

[Summer23]

Another one here who woke up sitting in my breastfeeding chair, no recollection of picking up my baby from the cot or feeding. Baby was fine but I also got a fright. This is exhaustion kicking in and more sleep is needed! I also had a nightmare once when baby was very young and thought I’d lost her in my bed - she was safely asleep in her Moses basket. My heart was pounding though!

[AlwaysaLittleBitTired]

Exhaustion. It will get better. I once woke up stroking DH's head in bed as I thought he was the baby. Could have been worse, as I was still bf...

I once fell asleep during a nighttime 'in bed' feed and after that did exactly what cjt says above, and would get out of bed and take baby to the nursery where I had a feeding chair. That way if I did nod off again, I wouldn't risk rolling onto baby. It solved the fear issue for me.
x

[DishingOutDone]

do you have a partner in the room/house with you who might help or could see what had happened?

[diddl]

That must have been frightening.

I once fell asleep whilst bfeeding.

Pfb had fallen off & was asleep in the crook of my arm!

[PrtScn]

Sounds scary, not happened to me but I’ve coslept from very early on. My baby refuses to sleep otherwise and screams the house down in a moses basket. Tried a chico next to me as well to no avail.
Look into safe co sleeping before you go mad. You will sleep, but it will be a lighter sleep. I always wake up when the baby starts fretting. He sleeps in a baby sleeping bag on top of the covers next to me, or sideways across my chest. When he is sleeping next to me I quite often wake up to him somehow managing to latch on to me and start feeding. If I leave the heating on 18 degs I can sleep topless with the covers only going up to my waist (to make sure they don’t cover the baby). My baby is 8 weeks old. I’m going to try again with the next to me when he is about 12 weeks old. Although I’m not holding my breath that he will settle in it.

[Orlande]

Sounds like you need to plan to cosleep /feed safely - it's falling asleep sitting up like that that's really unsafe.

[Shriek]

It's moving about with baby whilst you are not fully awake that's posing the risk. I once, with one of mine, didn't wake up until I hit the floor (imagining in my sleep as it turned out that I was sitting down on the rocker feeding chair).

Baby was older, but was in my arms when I hit the floor on my arse and sure woke up with a jolt then!!

Gave up trying to put db in a cot after that,just gave in to co-sleeping

[BirthdayKake]

I've also done this loads with my four

[Gimmeesugar]

My husband used to stay awake with me so I didn’t nod off. I have big breasts too and suffocation would be entirely possible

[Lavende]

I remember waking up and putting my DD next to me to feed one night then a couple of hours later I woke up in a panic because I couldn’t find her (she wasn’t next to me feeding). I didn’t remember putting her back in her basket. Never known fear like it.

[dragonsandfairies]

I breast fed my eldest. One night I woke to find I'd put him by my feet on the outside of my bed!! Rather than in his cot at the side of me.
He was under the duvet :( one movement of my feet and he could have been on the floor.
Luckily I've got him to 20 .... I think it is just pure exhaustion

[Spudlet]

With the cosleeper, I found DS settled better if we warmed it up a bit. DH did a hot water bottle while I was feeding and put that into the crib, then when DS was finished we did an Indiana Jones style swap so he didn't go from warmth to a cold sheet. Seemed to help a bit.

Hope everyone with a newborn starts getting more sleep soon. This thread is reminding me how brutal the early days can be in sleep terms!

[Nat6999]

In the beginning I used to put DS on a firm memory foam pillow between EX DH & me on top of duvet covered with a blanket, it was the only way we could get any sleep, it was easy then to give him a bottle during the night, DH would get one out of the cool bag & warm it slightly in the bottle warmer to take the chill off. With all the new rules around bottles we probably wouldn't be doing it that way now.

[Branleuse]

Co sleeping can be very safe, especially if youre breastfeeding as you sleep lighter to be able to be in tune with your baby in the night. Id consider co sleeping a few nights to catch up on sleep

[mumsastudent]

different track but to do with autopilot - have you ever been walking home & suddenly realized you are further along than you realized ie you have been on autopilot! Don't forget baby may even start to sleep through from a month old - (hurrah!)

[itsfuckingxmasnotduckingxmas]

I took mine to nursery once, had a half morning off so took a kip. Woke up and ran around the house looking for her wondering what the fuck id done with her.

[StoppinBy]

This sort of thing happened to me with both my kids, sleep exhaustion sucks.

Yes it is scary, I used to always turn the light outside our room on (hall or lounge), it helped keep me awake.

I once woke up panicking and trying to find my baby under the doona, woke my hubby up saying I couldn't find her, turned out that she was safe and sound fast asleep in her cot where I must have put her after I fed her.

[Italiangreyhound]

I fell asleep when downstairs with my daughter many years ago. Before I fell asleep i put my non mobile baby on the carpet. When I woke up I could not at first remember what was happening and it did scare me.

Just be careful not to fall asleep while feeding her on the sofa etc, or feeding while sleeping on the sofa.

Good luck.

XXX

[Evangelinee]

Nope not scary. I did this all the time when my lo (now 4 months) was first born, I used to wake up with an aching arm and she'd be laid in it and fallen asleep feeding.
It's an automatic response and labour/ birth is tiring. They stop feeding as frequently and you get less tired after a while so you'll start to remember them more. I still do it sometimes now although less because we co-sleep and I just lay her next to me and bring breast to baby.

[qate]

Similar things happened to me, and it is scary and a bit unnerving especially in the early days. DS wasn't a particularly bad sleeper, but we were still up 3-4 times a night feeding, and even though DH was fab, I still functioned on autopilot half of the time - when you're doing the same thing over and over again (get baby out of cot, feed, burp, stick baby back down, sleep for 2 hours, rinse, repeat) it does just blur into one! Often DH would ask me how many times I'd been up with him during the night, and I could honestly not have told him. Don't be too harsh on yourself - it does get easier!

[Motherofajuggernaut]

This is quite common. I did the same many times. Put her back then woke up a bit later terrified I'd I'd squashed her, lost her or dropped her. Had no recollection of taking her into bed in the first place, sometimes I had sometimes I hadn't. It's a horrible feeling. I think it's a combination of tiredness, hormones and adjusting to new baby hyper alertness.

I could slept with ds and it was far better