I can't read

[Caxx]

Hi long time lurker first time poster
I am a mum of 5 oldest 19 about to go to uni in jan youngest is 1 I am a single parent it is a hard thing to admit but basically I am illiterate I hold down a job at a supermarket and my children are well cared for up unti now this hasn't been a issue but my 13 year old who is at grammar school has started to get suspicious and I think he has told his teachers as I noticed at parents evening they were speaking to me like I was stupid (but u suppose I am)
I manage with Google and my.older son who is helping me write this but soon he will have left home so I am going to struggle does anyone know where I can get some practical help without anyone judging me ??

[Caxx]

Thank you for all the the suggestions I live in Birmingham
I'm ok with going on a course but I'm terrified of seeing someone I know and the implications for my children i may be ubteachable that would be embaressing
I have worked the same job for alot of years and I can fill the stock without reading just by the look of the boxes
I have got my son to order the book you all suggested thank u again

[Vitalogy]

I always think that someone who works/has children and manages to cover this up to be skilled/intelligent in many areas.

[WrongKindOfFace]

www.learnbaes.ac.uk

The courses are held at places that do other adult education courses such as cooking and French, so nobody would suspect. It’s free to do English and maths to gcse level.

[nameuseroriginal]

Your children will not be embarrassed. They will be proud of how brave you are getting help and support. Good luck OP, wishing you all the best.

[Purpletigers]

Toe by toe is a fantastic resource . Your children can help you . Best of luck . If you lived near me I’d teach you .

[concretesieve]

I've no tips to add, but just wanted to add best wishes and good luck. I'm sure you can do it

[EmilyRosiEl]

Hi OP,

That must have been awful at the parent's evening! I hate it when people are condescending.

I wonder if you just have something like dyslexia. You must be intelligent to have had such bright kids so that seems like a possible explanation.

There are probably quite a few further education colleges in Birmingham, offering literacy lessons so I'd probably start there if I was you.

[SilentIsla]

I’m confused about the logic here. If you can’t read you can’t write, surely?

[wildbhoysmama]

Silentisla- the op has stated twice that her eldest son helps her write! Stop nit picking from your place of assumed authority just because you can read/ write easily

Good luck OP, you're doing so well and considering these next steps show how resilient you are. If you were near me I'd teach you too. Good luck.

[GreenTulips]

SilentIsla

If it wasn't her son - she could use speech to text technology

[SilentIsla]

It must be a slow process.

[brizzledrizzle]

Do you have a kindle in the house?
There is a feature on the kindle to help improve your vocabulary. Ask your son to have a look at this

Well done for taking the first step.

[CloudsAway]

Can you say anything about the history that has resulted in you not being able to read?

There can be lots of different reasons. Sometimes children have missed lots of primary education, or had difficult or unsupportive family lives, or had very poor teaching and little access to books. Other times they had opportunities to learn to read, but might have had specific learning difficulties (like dyslexia) that prevented them from learning. Sometimes a difficulty in learning initially can then lead to issues with self-esteem or behaviour, which then mask the original problems. Each of these might need slightly different sorts of interventions now to help.

If you can find a course for adults, they will hopefully look at your background and help you work out the most suitable way of learning for you - it's worth being quite honest about what sort of teaching/support you had/didn't have up until now, because it might change their suggestions.

Motivation is a huge contributor to success, and it sounds like you have that. I think any teacher would be pleased to work with someone who really wants to learn, and people will be full of admiration, not judgement. Good luck!

[Amber0685]

You would be suprised how common it is. I used to work in a pharmacy in a fairly deprived area that had a news agency attatched. Some of the customers would ask me to help them choose a card. I later realised this was because they couldn't read to choose one that said Happy B'day Son or whatever it was they wanted.

[JassyRadlett]

OP, I just want to say I have huge admiration and respect for you. You were failed by many people when you were young and despite that you are successfully holding down a long-term job and bringing up 5 kids who are clearly achieving and, in the case of your eldest, supportive and kind which is just as important.

Just massive respect, and good luck with finding the right support for you. I have heard great things about the Literacy Trust.

[Curioushorse]

Hi OP. Good luck! There’s a lot of evidence that the IQ of children comes from the mother and not the father. So if your kids are clever, it’s because of you. You can do this!

[Thingsdogetbetter]

You must have a phenomenal memory to be able to remember all the stock! That's an amazing skill. (I'm jealous!!) You have obviously developed excellent coping strategies to work around not be able to read, so you can add problem solving genius to that amazing memory skill. Definitely not stupid then!

This is an education gap, not an intelligence issue!! And therefore can be remedied.

Go to college or find online programmes (there are some that deal with phonics and spelling aimed at teenagers). If someone you know is by coincidence in the same class, they have the same problem so no embarassment. If you happen to bump into them on the way and need to justify why you are there then a vague reference to literature evening class or writing class (they'll assume creative writing) is all that's needed. If anyone tries to make you feel bad for educating yourself then it's a lesson learnt: they are a TWAT and not worth your time or mind space.

You have done an incredible job with your kids' education, now is the time for yours.

[Jaxhog]

Don't worry - it's more common than you think. It's never too late to learn either, and will enhance your enjoyment of life no end! Good Luck.

[imsorryiasked]

[[http://www.learnbaes.ac.uk/english-level-1/functional-skills?highlight=WyJmdW5jdGlvbmFsIiwic2tpbGxzIiwiZnVuY3Rpb25hbCBza2lsbHMiXQ==
This course]] is available in your area. It seems to run from September to June, but there are some useful links at the bottom of the page.

[NotCitrus]

Good luck - a lot of people have the same problem.

[RibbonAurora]

You can read, OP, just not in the sense of printed words on a page, but to have successfully negotiated bringing up children in the education system, holding down a job that involves organizing stock, just going shopping - everything you do involves 'reading' i.e. recognizing and deciphering a series of visual codes and cues all around you. You can do that, you do it day in day out, so you can read.

That's all reading is, honest, the formal part in putting series of letters and numbers together in written form is simply another way of doing what you already do but it will help you to do what you already do more easily and efficiently. The next level if you like. Good luck with everything.

[GladysKnight]

Go for it! Get all the help you can, you must be amazing to have raised your kids and supported the family all this time. You obviously have plenty of courage and determination so you can definitely do this :)

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

Caxx you're doing a hell of a lot better than some who still can't RTFT despite presumably being literate.

[Caxx]

Thank you for all the kindness my son has read through them all and relayed them to me
My history is I was ill alot as a child I'm 40 I had periods of abscence my parents didn't really care about my education never attended parents evening etc nobody really took a interest nobody ever helped me to understand i guess I kind of skipped under the radar and i left at 15
I struggle with other things too like directions co ordination too
My partner died last year he used to go through school letters etc for me but now I know I have to try for myself
My kids are a joy to me my oldest son is starting uni in jan to be a paediatric nurse the nxt one is flying at grammar school but I realise that if i don't do something my 1yr old will be reading before me thanks again everyone

[Beeziekn33ze]

Caxx - I reckon you and your I year old will soon be enjoying books together!