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Flying in less than 12 hours and I'm a state

85 replies

cricketmum84 · 28/10/2018 19:41

Anyone got any calming methods for me? I'm on beta blockers already for anxiety so doctor wouldn't give me diazepam. I've sat alone and meditated for the last 2 hours.

I am so so so stressed. Apart from gin what can I do to calm myself? X

OP posts:

NewMinouMinou · 28/10/2018 21:42

Serious discussion! DYAC!!


MintyCedric · 28/10/2018 22:12

Definitely try Headspace and Calm apps. If you've got Spotify there's a set of podcasts called Acoustic Soundtracks which are very relaxing.

I'm not aware that there's one specific to flying but I also like the Liberation in mind self hypnosis videos on You Tube.m

Rescue Remedy, lavender oil.

I find having something to get my head into is really helpful so have Countdown, Puzzler and wordsearch apps on my phone as well.


MintyCedric · 28/10/2018 22:14

Sorry, Spotify thing is Acoustic Soundscapes.


LizzieBennettDarcy · 28/10/2018 22:19

Can you get some Kalms at the airport? They really helped me flying across the atlantic.

I absolutely loathe flying, I just feel this mad panic take hold even though my head tells me how safe it is.


Ratonastick · 28/10/2018 22:34

Have you thought about anti sickness tablets? I’m a regular flyer but occasionally get a bit honky so I take Dramamine before I fly if I am going over 3 hours. It has the side effect of making me really sleepy so I doze through the flight.


Japanesejazz · 28/10/2018 22:40

I understand OP. I HATE flying. My last flight was my first flight without diazepam, half a bottle of ouzo was consumed before boarding. It’s shit, and if you don’t truly get it then please FUCK OFF. ooooh look at all these flights, it’s fine, it’s the safest way to travel! If you HATE it it’s the worst form of travel. I’ve done the BA Course, I’ve done all the drugs, I’ve flown all the way from China to Heathrow when the cabin crew never got released from their seats, I’ve skidded on landing at Gatwick, I’ve had an emergency landing because an engine was on fire. I’m still alive OP, I fly a lot. I used to play top trumps with my children if I was flying with them. I feel your pain, think of it as a magic bus removing you from the shithole which is the U.K.


cricketmum84 · 29/10/2018 01:14

Thanks all, it does help to know I'm not the only one and I'm not being ridiculous.

We are flying to Alicante from Manchester so about 2.5 hours.

Just got up for a cup of tea (and maybe a gin). Flying in 5 hours x

OP posts:

7salmonswimming · 29/10/2018 01:21

Well, don’t drink any alcohol now! That’s not going to help.

How old are the DC?

Try to make them the focus. If they’re old enough, ask them to distract you. If they’re not, focus on showing them how nonchalant you can be and how not a big deal it is. Sit between them, and only hold their hands if they want you to. Put your head back on the headrest and close your eyes. Force a gentle smile onto your face. Then start humming. Listen to the engines and find the pitch that makes your diaphragm vibrate. Hum really loudly, nobody will hear you over the engines. While you’re humming breathe in and out really slowly. Before you know it the engine noise will drop and you’ll be humming like a loon. Then, smile at your DC and say “wasn’t that amazing?? Such a rush!”.

You can do it. You’ll be so proud of yourself.


musicposy · 29/10/2018 01:28

I would second fieldgold's suggestion to look at flightradar. It really brought home to me how very unlikely it was that anything was going to happen.

Good luck! I was you just a couple of weeks back (hadn't flown for 20 years). A few good games on the tablet, max beta blockers, an understanding DH and I didn't love it but I did it. You will too x


Penguinsetpandas · 29/10/2018 01:29

It's incredibly rare anything goes wrong - statistically you'll be taking much higher risks driving etc.

My Dad told me once if something goes wrong its in first 60 seconds so I just count up to 60 in my head then think its fine. Never used to worry at all until I flew with kids, not a big worrier now.

Another way might be if a friend was going on this flight do you think she would be at any risk? I don't. Have a lovely holiday. You could also take things to play with kids or food as distractions.


hungryhippo90 · 29/10/2018 01:31

Cricketmum, I’ve just seen this but actually flew into Manchester this morning - arrived just before 7am.

I want to ask, why aren’t you allowed diazepam with beta blockers? My Dr recently gave me diazepam and I’m on beta blockers- I have GAD and OCD.

Flying is a biggie for me too, and I look at it in a really weird way. I start with, well what’s the worst that can happen?- yeah so there’s that, and how likely is it to happen?- it’s safer on the plane than it is in my car, and I jump in that multiple times a day and what’s more, the people who are in charge of the risks? The pilot, the co pilot, the air stewardesses, they have the same lives to lose if they don’t complete their checks etc, they have families, friends, things they look forward to, they will keep themselves safe- which in turn keeps me and my family safe, whenever I need to reassure myself that everything is ok, I look around- how are the air stewardesses? They would know if something obvious was going on.

And if I’m feeling guilty I’m taking that risk with my families lives for taking them on holiday with the small risk of dying, I just remind myself that we are on the pursuit of happy times, I’m doing my best to provide my Dd with the best childhood I can provide her, other than that. It’s all out of my hands. I have no knowledge of how to fly a plane.

I’m hoping this is helpful instead of a hindrance. 7 hours and 40 minutes or so of a continuous cycle of what I’ve just wrote, and we’re home, safely- tiredness is our only affliction!

Hope you’re having a great holiday.


blooddiamond · 29/10/2018 01:32

Honestly I would have your dh sit with the children and then have a drink. Take whatever medication you have and do whatever distraction techniques work for you. It's all well and good to recommend working on your anxiety and getting new medication or trying CBT techniques but that isn't going to help you get through this flight right now


Aintnothingbutaheartache · 29/10/2018 01:33

I hate flying! I like to look at the crew to see if they are calm.
Worst bit is take off and landing. I shut my eyes and mentally go through lists for eg the character names of my favourite tv shows.
You’ll be ok op, it’s an irrational fear.
Take it in bits. You’ve only got a short flight and it’ll be worth it.


NarcolepticOuchMouse · 29/10/2018 01:37

My DP is an aerospace engineer and you'd be surprised just how robust aeroplanes are. They're designed to be able to fly with just one engine, just in case. Some of his work is on testing, and without boring you all to death, the tests they do are almost crazy with how extensive and elaborate they are. They really do test for the most unlikely scenarios to make sure it will remain safe. I get a bit nervy by the noises aeroplanes make, but not once has he not been able to tell me exactly what it was and that it's supposed to do that. Sorry I can't lend you my engineer, he's very good for flight nerves.


Aintnothingbutaheartache · 29/10/2018 01:41

NarcolepticOuchMouse thank you!
I really mean it! I can tell you I will be thinking of your post next time I fly x


cricketmum84 · 29/10/2018 01:48

@hungryhippo90 it's not just the beta blockers. I'm on mirtazapine, propranolol plus gabapentin and codeine for back pain so doctor was reluctant to throw anything else into the mix.

I've made a playlist and got my headphones. Had a cup of tea. The stupid think is I know all the logical stuff, safest way to travel etc etc but am still so stressed out!

OP posts:

Chalkhillblu3 · 29/10/2018 01:51

I was traumatised after a horrible flight through a thunderstorm a few years ago. I took a kind of exposure route. I looked up all the most terrifying videos of planes on YouTube. You can find them by searching on Crosswind Landing. I realised two things - 1. Planes are a tough as old boots. 2. Pilots are amazing, well trained, and can do feats you rarely see them have to do (because they are trained on simulators). Later I was on a flight that had to do two go-arounds (aborted landings) in fog at City Airport - didn't bother me at all.


Seren85 · 29/10/2018 01:52

I'm also terrified of flying. I agree that being reminded of the statistics and how many flights go smoothly every single day doesn't help because the anxious mind just says yes but it only takes one. I read every bit of boring in-flight literature during take off and ignore the whole thing despite inwardly panicking. Once up, if cabin crew are serving drinks and selling stuff, it is all good. If they worry, I'll worry. I break it down so for the next 45 mins I'm reading, then I'll try to nap, then 30 mins reading. I love landing, oddly. Feels like the closer we get the less can go wrong!


Seren85 · 29/10/2018 01:53

Oh and had a cross wind landing UK to UK and got marched onto the spare plane. Scariest experience of my life but I wasn't given a choice but to reboard. I think it desensitised me to be honest. And it was fine really.


cricketmum84 · 29/10/2018 01:59

Oh yes @Seren85 I bloody love landing!!! The closer to the ground the better for me!!

I haven't flown since our honeymoon to Aruba in 2015, we had quite a scary landing with the pilot doing a very steep banked turn into the airport. I had a full on panic attack and sobbed the whole way through the landing. I wasn't a great flier before that but it's really affected me. I keep worrying that I'm going to have a panic attack in the air and the plane will have to diverts

OP posts:

ohello · 29/10/2018 02:01

antihistamines can have very bad reaction if taken after drinking alcohol, ask me how I know...

Hope you're okay and let us know how the flight goes if you can!


Chalkhillblu3 · 29/10/2018 02:07

Another thing I have heard they do on courses for nervous fliers is to teach them about the various normal noises they hear during take off and landing, eg the flaps being tested, the sound of the wheels descending. I think the more informed you are the less frightening it is.


brizzledrizzle · 29/10/2018 02:35

Oh yes @Seren85 I bloody love landing!!! The closer to the ground the better for me!!

Closer to the ground is pretty useful when it comes to landing, I've never managed a successful landing when I've not been close to the ground (gliders not real planes) 


Seren85 · 29/10/2018 02:45

You mock but it works because the anxious mind thinks closer the ground equals less danger. It isn't true but it is comforting to a nervous flyer.


AlbertWinestein · 29/10/2018 02:53

A glass of wine.
Give the kids to your husband.

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