Aibu to ask if social anxiety disorder 'makes you break the law'

[Konoha]

Relative has Social Anxiety and Depression. Lot's going on with her, won't bore w ith details.
She's always had minor scrapes with authority and whatnot, some would say it was a bit o f rebellion, HOWEVER, a month or so ago she was put in a cell overnight for beating a police officer up, biting another, and smashing another policemans head off his car bonnet whe n he tried to restrain her.
Heard her laughing about it the other day saying ' My social anxiety makes me behave like this'. Im not an expert, but I smell a bit of bs. Aibu for calling her out on this?

[FingersXssd83]

Sounds like she has complex anger/violence and alcohol issues. She could be experiencing more than anxiety such as PTSD and personality disorder. Surely no one behaves like that who are 'well'.

[Konoha]

I really don't know what to make of her tbh, she's got progressively 'worse'. Suggesting help falls on deaf ears in my family. about a month or so before the police incident, she battered the shite out of a guy in a restaurant 'because h is laughing annoyed her'. No idea what to do, we grew up really close and despite how I may come across on here it's upsetting to watch this stuff happen.

[Xihha]

It could be a mental health thing. In the worst point of my own struggles with MH I was an absolute twat and got arrested more than once - never hurt a police officer but did some pretty nasty things. Laughing about it after sounds odd though, unless it was an embarrassed trying to laugh it off maybe. I've also known people through various programmes I was put on who openly admitted to people they were using it as an excuse, so yeah, it could be genuinely due to her MH or it could be an excuse, there isn't really any way to tell.

[MissusLuciferMorningstar]

There's a difference between a mental health condition causing a behaviour and someone blaming a behaviour on a condition, diagnosed or not. Trouble is, we're all different, and my bipolar traits are different from others'. It sounds however that she may be manipulating the situation for her own gain, which is unforgivable. It doesn't help the rest of us who don't 'use' our conditions to reap excuses or reward. In fact, it infuriates me.

[Mummyundecided]

Sounds like another 'get out of jail card free' to me. The number of people who commit crimes but have 'mental issues' so are dealt with leniently is ridiculous.
No, I think you’ll find that they’re more likely to be treated harshly, generally. (A study has just been published on this, actually.) They're also more likely to be the victims of criminal behaviour.
That said, I don’t think it’s ok, OP. Having a mental illness (or disability) doesn’t excuse behaviour in an adult, but it does means that person needs to find ways to manage themself in a way that’s compatible with the law (at the very least).

[AiryFairyUnicornRainbow]

And just because someone is laughing about something , does not mean they genuinely find it funny. it is called putting on a front, a facade, a mask...most people with mental illness do it

Think Robin Williams etc.

[TheDayMyButtWentPsycho]

She sounds adorable.

[AiryFairyUnicornRainbow]

The number of people who negatively judge mental health conditions, because they do not understand them (not their fault) is HUGE.

It is easier to walk away and call someone an arsehole, than it is to get involved, help, and realise their is an issue

Easier for us all to take the simple route, justify it to ourselves tht the other person is in fact, a 'wrong un' rather than actually ILL...and walk away.

You can see why a lot of mentally ill people end up taking their own life or end up very lonely

[AiryFairyUnicornRainbow]

she was put in a cell overnight for beating a police officer up, biting another, and smashing another policemans head off his car bonnet whe n he tried to restrain her

If this happened, she will be going to jail soon

You are describing someone who has a mental health issue. Typical behaviours are bad budgeting, self medicating with alcohol, drugs, buying themselves things to 'make themselves feel better'...these are all typical signs of a serious mental health issue

However if what you say happened, she will be in prison in the near future

[tillytrotter1]

Sounds like another 'get out of jail card free' to me. The number of people who commit crimes but have 'mental issues' so are dealt with leniently is ridiculous.

[Konoha]

She weren't drunk when she attacked the police officers. They were called out on her because she was fighting with her next door neighbour.

[Howhot]

Was she drunk?

[Bombardier25966]

Those with borderline personality disorder can be seen by others as manipulative, as well as having mood dysregulation. It's very difficult to get appropriate support for it on the NHS.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/

I'm not sure this kind of thread is helpful. No one here can say what condition she has (if she has one at all), or if her condition is contributing to her behaviour. Equally no one can say that her condition is not having a negative effect on her behaviour.

[Konoha]

weezol she says she does. She's been on anti-depressants since her teens, and she started seeing drs then for anxiety, and suicidal thoughts that kind of thing. I've never asked for proof lol.

[Angelf1sh]

No.

[Weezol]

If medically diagnosed it could possibly be used as mitigation at trial/sentencing.
Has she got a proper clinical diagnosis?

[Redglitter]

Anxiety or not I hope they throw the book at her for her disgusting behaviour

[Konoha]

bombardier I do believe she's depressed, I agree that she has something diagnosed going on, what I can't stand is that she seems to use it as a literal get out of jail free card. I feel like she uses it to manipulate people. I really don't have a good understanding on mental health, so I could be just an arsehole lol.

[sadeyedladyofthelowlands63]

I have a (diagnosed) anxiety disorder. It has never once made me break the law or assault anyone.

[Pickwickpapers]

Maybe she was joking but anyways she can't use it as an excuse for anti-social and abusive behaviour and not really something to be made light of. She probably needs help with anger management more than anything else. Definitely say something to her if she says anything directly to you.

[MacosieAsunter]

All you'll get here is armchair psychiatrists. However lashing out may be common

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/social-anxiety/

Support groups
There are several charities, support groups and online forums for people with social anxiety and other anxiety disorders, including:
Anxiety UK
a HealthUnlocked anxiety forum run by Anxiety Support
Mind and YoungMinds
Social Anxiety UK, who also have an online forum
Anxiety Alliance
Triumph Over Phobia (TOP UK)

[LIZS]

Poor impulse control might cause violent reactions but not a sustained level of poor behaviour. Does she seek help and support? Any alcohol or substance abuse perhaps? She sounds manipulative and in self denial.

[Bombardier25966]

I was wondering if alcohol is a factor, perhaps as self medication.

Anxiety can make some people act out, but there's generally an underlying issue there that causes extremes of moods.

Or she might just be a thoroughly unpleasant person.

[Konoha]

Bumbledop the last time I seen her she was drinking A LOT. She also uses a tonne of prescribed/non prescribed drugs.

[Konoha]

I seem to be the only one in my family that sees this as an issue. I'd use the word 'extort' (maybe con) in what she's doing to elderly relatives. She gets a lot of financial help from family members for things like cosmetic surgery, cars, holidays etc, as she says ' (she) does these things because she's low in herself... If only I had X I'd be ok'.
she also said she 'didn't have a normal teenage lifestyle, so she's doing this now to get it out of her system'. She's thirty.