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People who have made an impact on your life.

38 replies

yawning801 · 17/10/2018 17:45

Put this in AIBU because I wanted it to stay.

Who has made an impact on you, and how?
I'll start with my friend. We've only known each other for about a year but she's provided me with so much support (and I have tried to reciprocate), she knows me better than I know myself and despite never actually having met (and being in completely different countries and time zones) we can pretty much tell what each other is thinking. Don't know where I'd be without her.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 17/10/2018 18:38

Can't believe this thread has had no replies. You say you've never met in person. Did I read that correctly. Is she like an on Line pen pal. Do you plan to meet in the flesh one day.

Might sound clique but my dd has made the hugest impact on my life.

Also how about this for a sliding doors moment. My dad was supposed to be meeting someone the night he met my mum. He was supposed to be going on a date but she didn't turn up. It later transpired her car had broken down.
He went for a drink instead where he met my mum, and The rest as they say is History.
Another strange turn of events was about a week before my mum was supposed to be going to work at Butlins but She decided against it virtually at the last hour.
Talk about fate.

Spookytoast · 17/10/2018 18:48

My first ever boss.

He supported me when I first joined the company, was a friendly face, gave me new projects when I showed potential and encouraged me to believe in myself more. He even coached me on interview skills when I got offered an interview for another role. I’ve had some really crappy bosses since and I always think back to him and how different things could have turned out for me had he not been so encouraging of me to strive to achieve my best.

There’s a quote although I am not sure where from “Leadership isn’t about being the best. Leadership is about making everyone else better” and he definitely proved that true.

Ahh Smile

noideaatallreally · 17/10/2018 18:53

My primary school teacher when I was 10. Told my parents I should not worry about O Levels as I was A level material. In a family where education was of little value, where no one had ever left school with any qualifications this made such an impact on me. Thanks you Mr R - wish I could tell you how much I loved university and the whole new life it opened up for me.

yawning801 · 17/10/2018 19:13

spider Yes we're online pen pals Smile

Bumping for the evening crowd!

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Athena51 · 17/10/2018 19:14

Well it may be a bit boring but my DP. I had what I now realise was an emotionally abusive marriage with a coercive and controlling husband who essentially convinced me that I was an ugly, useless piece of shit who nobody could ever like or love.

I escaped years ago and spent time alone rebuilding my life, my career and my relationships. DP came into my life 6 years ago and showed me what a truly loving, supportive, fun and loyal relationship could be like. He's never let me down and I love the bones of him.

I'm so happy in myself and my life now and while I am the architect of that, DP brings so much love and laughter and support with him.

He snores like a bastard though so no one's perfect Grin

thegreysheep · 17/10/2018 19:18

A man I babysat for when I was 16. After dealing with childhood sexual abuse from male relatives, and other toxic and violent male relatives I had no positive male role models until then and feared and distrusted men. The neighbour was seen as an outcast as he wasn't religious or conventional, but he was the first non violent, respectful, non sexist man I had ever met. He treated his wife and children with gentleness and as their own people, with opinions and personalities equal to his own and wasn't 'man of the house'. Totally appropriate babysitter - parent relationship, and watching how he dealt with his family taught me so much.

He was the first man I ever trusted and made me realise that my toxic male relatives are not the norm. I don't think he realises the impact he had on me growing up.

footballmum · 17/10/2018 19:22

My RE teacher at secondary school. My DF had left and my DM was having a nervous breakdown. I was becoming more and more friendly with a pretty rough crowd and was literally on the verge of taking drugs when she swooped in and gave me the care and attention I needed at such a vulnerable time.

Two of three girls in that gang were groomed by a pimp and both became prostitutes. One of them died of a heroin overdose when she was 22 Sad I truly believe that lady saved my life.

NHW95 · 17/10/2018 19:25

For me it would be my Grandma (I’m not sure if that counts as it’s family) but she looked after me from day one as my mum was a single mum and had to go out and work. She pretty much raised me, stuck by me through thick and thin (when I was an evil teenager and made a lot of mistakes Grin).

She’s seen me through so much, relationship worries, job worries, financial worries, just life in general really but she always supported and protected me through everything. All she ever wanted was to see me happy.

She passed away this year and I miss her more than words could ever explain.

She was such a kind, generous and selfless person and I honestly aspire to be just like her. I just hope I have the same type of relationship with my grandchildren (I’m only 23) one day.

yawning801 · 17/10/2018 19:27

Oh these are so lovely, keep them coming!

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BootsMagoots · 17/10/2018 21:35

My chemistry teacher from high school. Nobody ever has understood me like her. Still in touch now and she's like my second mum. In fact I'm closer to her than my mum. Love the bones of her and she truly saved me.

darkriver198868 · 17/10/2018 21:47

My "godfather" I met him 13 years ago. I was planning on taking my own life and he turn up at the right time.

He has done so much for me I can't really express it.

forwhatyouare · 17/10/2018 21:49

The lovely ladies of Mumsnet and the confidence boost they have recently given me, just by a few words and responses

Truckit · 17/10/2018 21:50

Jean Flowers

orphanblack1 · 17/10/2018 22:02

My Nan. My mother really struggled to bond with me due to PND and my Nan gave me the love I was missing. Sadly she died when I was 11 which I’ve never really got over but she was the most loving caring woman in the world. She and my grandad didn’t have a pot to piss in but we’re so generous. She used to turn up to my school with a pillowcase full of chocolate for all the kids. She used to kick my grandad out of bed and I’d bunk in with her and she’d tell me stories about my dad, aunt and uncle from when they were small. So many fond fond memories of her. I once hid her fags under my great grandma (who was do-lally-tap) in the back bedroom and remember her tearing the house apart for her fags(!) which was quite hilarious. She smoked like a chimney! She also had long long talons (my thumb nails are just like hers which I love) and wore bright red lacquer (as she called it) and I was in awe of the machine she had to dry her nails. And her rollers!!!

I truly truly wish she was still here. I miss her every day. I suffered really badly with low self esteem all through teenage years and still massively struggle - think it would’ve been different if she’d been alive. She was my true angel.

Gottalovethesummer · 17/10/2018 22:28

By first boyfriend's family. It made me realise what a normal family looked like. It gave me higher expectations about family life and what to expect from a husband.

My second boyfriend. We got together when I was 19 and he was a few years older. He was the father figure I never had. He guided me and was my rock for many years. I was too young to fully appreciate at the time but a lot of my values and the way I do things are thanks to him. We are still friends and I will always love him.

Bluelady · 18/10/2018 22:27

I was taught English by a tiny little woman who was fierce as a bush and whose passion for her subject was infectious as Ebola. To her I owe decades of pleasure in literature and grammar pedantry. I have no idea if she's still with us but she'll be part of me as long as I draw breath.

wecantallbeperfect · 18/10/2018 22:36

I returned to education to do a degree at age 47. A wonderful lecturer had (and still does) the most profound effect on me. I'd been at home with four children for 27 years, DD3 has Aspergers. She taught me that it's fine to say no. Sounds easy I know, but I'd been unable to say no to anyone before 

She also made me see that for me, it wasn't about the qualification per se, it was about rediscovering who I am and moving forward. I always channel my inner Jenny when I have a wobble! 

What a great thread.

thighofrelief · 18/10/2018 23:19

For me it's my Dad, the most amazing man. He's wise, patient, hilarious, kind and passionate about politics. He's been a raging Marxist, feminist and union leader since the 60s. I remember us collecting for the miners strike together and taking them food and clothes. He grew up in desperate poverty and 5 of his 8 siblings died of poverty/disease. He taught me to skip, sew, darn, knit and cook and I taught him to swim. He's 86 now and in hospital, we thought he would die yesterday but he is rallying. Fingers crossed.

DontCareWasMadeToCare · 18/10/2018 23:29

I was taught English by a tiny little woman who was fierce as a bush and whose passion for her subject was infectious as Ebola

She wasn't called Mrs Anderson, was she? My English teacher was just like that and left a huge impression on me plus English is still my favourite subject!

averageisgood · 18/10/2018 23:34

My art teacher when I ws 14 and anorexic. She knew, but tried to give me the space I needed at lunch times to eat something without being watched. She trusted me to be in the art room, let me have anything I wanted from the supplies cupboard, taught me how to look at light and shade. Even now, art is like therapy for me.

yawning801 · 19/10/2018 07:18

This thread has been such an eye-opener - I hope that one day, I'll be able to have the same impact on someone. Thank you Smile

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IdontknowwhyIcallhimGerald · 19/10/2018 07:27

The nurse who held me through intimate examinations after I'd been raped and kept whispering into my ear "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you". 30 years later I still feel so much love for that woman.

The young, (20 years younger than me), gay man who confided in me that he'd been raped. Then when I was going through an awful time, came to me and said "We've survived the worst - we can survive again. We can do anything." And I held those words through it all and they kept me alive.


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DisrespectfulAdultFemale · 19/10/2018 07:28

My dad. He raised me after my mother buggered off to do her own thing. He has been there for me every step of the way. He is kind, generous, funny, gentle and liked by everyone.

redastherose · 19/10/2018 19:52

What a wonderful thread

HaulingFreight · 19/10/2018 20:10

My psychologist. She helped me put myself back together after being gripped by bulimia and fighting for justice after being sexually abused as a child. I haven't been sick in nearly 2 years, and my abuser is serving 20 years in prison. She showed me who I really was, and how to break the unhealthy cycles I found myself in when I was low. I'm now a mother to the most beautiful little girl and I genuinely believe without my her help and guidance I wouldn't have been so blessed.. she's also a mumsnetter so she might see this Smile

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