DD wants to remove leg hair

[TellerTuesday4EVA]

I could really use some advice / experiences on this please.

A big part of me knows this is ridiculous but there's another part that wants DD to make her own choices.

Dd has just turned 6. She has and always has had very hairy legs & a hairy lower back. I presumed it was baby down & would go away in time but it hasn't & it's gone darker as she's gotten older. I'll attach some pics below. I have PCOS (personally never suffered with the hair problem) so I'm pretty sure it's linked to hormones.

In the summer she became aware of it & that the other girls at school didn't have the same. She asked me if there was a way to get rid of the hair, we talked about it & everyone's bodies being different & that coupled with the sun lightening the hair pacified her for a while.

Since she's gone back to school she's mentioned it again quite a few times. I have to point out here that nobody else has mentioned it, classmates etc, it's DD herself that has the issue she isn't being picked on or anything because of it. Now the weathers getting colder she's into tights & trousers for uniform so that's pacified her again.

However.... she's now getting upset about swimming & not wanting to go because she says when her legs get wet it looks worse. The hairs quite long so when it gets wet & lays flat she is right in what she's saying.

There's no way I would use hair removal cream on her skin & certainly wouldn't let her attempt anything herself but part of me thinks if she's adamant she wants it removing I should help her to do so.

AIBU? No bitchy comments please, I do realise she's very young but just want to do my best to help her.

[CaveDivingbelle]

Does anyone actually have any body confidence building stories then? There's always the argument about learning to be happy with who you are, but no one ever comes along to add their experience of being hairy, not doing anything and being proud....
I had thick black hair covering everything from waist down, on chalk white skin. It stood out a mile and kids used to say it was like fur. It shattered any confidence I had and by the time I was let shave, the damage was done.I never lived it down and still remember it. I know we should accept who we are but I'd save my daughter from what I went through.

[AnoukSpirit]

It's good that you're trying to support her if it's causing her anxiety.

I'm just struck by how not-hairy she is to be so anxious if none of her peers have said anything. It's not unusual and I can't say I would ever have given it a second glance. I've had brownies with hairier legs than that and never thought anything of it - other than to be glad they were confident and none of my other girls had ever commented or teased another about their body hair.

If it's not anyone at school hassling her, where has she got the idea from that she's overly hairy and that's wrong/ugly/whatever? Is it literally just because she sees your hairless legs and then looks at hers and thinks there's something wrong?

I only ask this because if you know the reason, it will help with reassurance if she knows different girls/women make different choices, and she doesn't have to make the same one. We're the ones who give each other these body worries, we can also reduce them.

She's so very young to be starting on an unnecessary lifetime of hair removal when she doesn't have to, but I appreciate you're trying to give her a sense of control.

It makes me sad, all the same, that she feels like this and we would rather induct her into the hair removal ideal instead of building confidence in the body she has. It's not like we'd allow other body modifications on an uncomfortable 6 year old.

Anyway, good luck with it.

[Candlelights2345]

I don’t think mitts will do anything on hair like that. I think shaving is the best option (I’m very dark haired and hairy).
Good luck, and I totally agree with removing hair. I’ve been plucking my daughters eyebrows in the middle since she was age 6 as she was being laughed at for having a ‘monobrow’.

[FissionChips]

Mitts are harsh on the skin, it will rub a layer off.

[TellerTuesday4EVA]

Wow, thank you all so much for your replies. I was well prepared to get flamed but overwhelm how supportive you've all been.

We've talked about it at length tonight & decided that we'll try a mitt first & see what the outcome is. Tbh she's a totally light weight on the pain threshold so if there's any amount of vigorous rubbing required I can see it being a non starter.

Second option we'll try a lady shave, thank you especially to you @Ostagazuzulum I'll have a look for the one you mentioned & reassuring to know you were in a similar situation.

I honestly don't think it's anything sinister but I have a drs appointment for myself next week & it's after school so she'll be with me so I'll mention it just ask to be on the safe side.

[FissionChips]

Some people are just hairy, it’s not unusual and is not really something to go to the doctor about unless there are other concerns.

[Minta85]

OP it would be worth asking your GP for an endocrinologist referral. Your daughter should be tested for conditions such as Classical Aand Non-classical Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia.

[Branleuse]

if there are no other signs of puberty, i doubt its hormonal. Some people are just hairier than others. We are just mammals and it doesnt mean anything is wrong. I think going to the doctors about a bit of leg hair might be overkill,

[Aridane]

I would have a low key appointment first with GP to check for hormone I’m alance or precocious puberty - then help her shave with a lady shave if that’s what she really wants.

[Racecardriver]

Have you taken her yo a doctor if you are Co Cerne about her hormonal balance? I am normally opposed to encouraging children to conform for the sake of it but if she is so young and this is already causing issues I would say just remove it to avoid it becoming aassove problem.

[Witchend]

I would let her. Dd wanted to at that age. She's now decided at mid teens it's too much hassle.

Otoh my parents didn't let me so I borrowed df's razor and sliced a chunk out of my leg. I still have the scar.

[Ostagazuzulum]

I had exactly the same issue with my daughter earlier in the year (roughly same age as your daughter) I posted on mumsnet as I felt like her confidence and self esteem were more important that society's norm for children worrying about appearance. I had overwhelming support from mumsnet that told me I was thinking along the right track. We tried feet sensitive cream the first time. She didn't like it as she was bored sitting still for 5 minutes waiting for cream to work but loved the effects. After that I bought her a mini lady shaver so she could do her legs herself safely. As it stands I normally do it for her. She isn't that bothered any more, I think she just likes the reassurance that she can get rid of it when she wants. The electric shaver isn't the closest cut (I'd never be able to use it) but it's small enough for her hands and is safe to use. She's much happier since we got it. The one I bought was a Magnitone. Hope this helps

[Branleuse]

I get chemical burns from hair removal cream.
Silkymits - sandpapering it off. Sounds more gentle than it actually is.
Waxing - give the girl a break, shes 6. She doesnt need to painfully pluck them out by the roots, plus for me I get painful ingrown hairs every single time.

Shaving is the gentlest on the skin, and a ladyshave is gentlest of all. They wont get smooth smooth, but they wont look hairy

[bumbling]

I went through this with my Dr who is 11 and tried a few removal creams which were expensive and the results didn't last long. I was also worried about using chemicals on her. I just shaved her legs for her in the end. It is so much easier. I don't think any other kids had mentioned her leg hair but she was very self conscious.

[Branleuse]

shes very little, but if its bothering her, there are easy, quick, safe and painfree ways to remove it.

Id get a ladyshave, because they dont have the risk of cutting herself because its not super close to the skin. She probably wouldnt even need to do it that often.

I must admit i dont like the idea of children feeling under pressure to look a certain way and depilate, but we live in the world we live in and we all have to negotiate this stuff. I was a child whos mum didnt want me to shave, and it was embarrassing at school and stopped me doing all sorts of things and I was teased relentlessly. It would have been so easy to just bloody shave it.
As an adult I have more agency to decide whether to shave or not. As a child, I think its about surviving school with your self esteem intact, and not sticking out too much.

[MyDcAreMarvel]

The sensitive creams should be ok, buy some good quality pure alovera to apply afterwards.

[Hellywelly10]

Go for it. By the looks of it she has pale skin and dark hairs. If she has always been hairy then it should not be a sign of early pubity, its just her.

[MrMeSeeks]

Test the cream, ive tried several and never had a problem.
I found those mitts did absolutely nothing

[Perfectly1mperfect]

I would let her remove it as it's upsetting her so much.

It might be worth a trip to the GP just to make sure everything is okay, just because you mention that you think it could be hormone related.

[Fluffyears]

Be careful of the silkymits. I used to use them with no issues but the last couple of times I have had an awful reaction. I follow the instructions to the letter as well. My skin must have changed. Maybe do a patch test.

[allyouneedis]

My Daughter has never had any problems with it, maybe try leaving it for different lengths of time. Your DD might not need the full 3 minutes. Also the mit things sound like a good alternative.

[Cornettoninja]

I think you’re a great mum supporting her with this

Waxing/epilating would be great for the hairiness itself but she’s very young for that considering the pain factor.

An electric razor might be worth investigating although the maintenance is a consideration but much easier if mainly for swimming during the winter and cream would be longer lasting.

It’s pros and cons with all the options. Does your dd have a preference?

I’ve no idea if it exsists but a very gentle bleach may be worth considering. I bleach my arm hair after removing it for years but disliking the regrowth. The actual abundance of hair doesn’t bother me as much as the darkness of it but bleaching can be quite harsh and uncomfortable.

[UhOh4321]

If she is upset about it please do something about it. I was the same at that age (no PCOS or early puberty- just bad luck) but my mum would not let me do anything about it. When I got a little older, other children started to notice so I spent Summers at school wearing tights under my summer dress! Finally got an electric razor which was very gentle on my skin. I just wish I didn't't have all the years of misery before.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

I would also let her do it. Dds friend came over in the holidays, she has just gone into yr6. I know that’s a lot older than your dd and I noticed had shaved her legs all the way up - she was wearing shorts. Idk how long she has been doing this. But I had never noticed her leg hair before so I assume it to have been a fair while and this was just a bit of regrowth.

Idk if hairier legs are a sign of precocious puberty. My dds legs (10) have been hairy for at least 2/3 years now.

Ideally you would wax your dds legs if they’re that hairy - they don’t look it from the photo. But at 6 she’s so little.

[Helpimfalling]

My mum started letting me do mine I was so hairy around nine with something called a silky mitt not sure if they still exist

I maybe worst parent of the year but I'd let my daughter do hers with that at that age if she was bothered (at your daughter age)

My sons are very hairy and I've let them shave from when they first asked to do there tashes and that was about eight nine