I had to catch a 9am train

[9amTrain]

...Is the excuse my housemate gave me as to why she left the toilet in a state.

Which she does every day...

This time I messaged her politely asking her to clean it after herself.

Her actual words were "I had a 9am train". No apology or embarrassment.

AIBU in thinking what the fuck does catching a 9am train have to do with anything?

AIBU in thinking there is never an excuse not to take five seconds to use the toilet brush, no matter how pushed for time you are? (not debating whether we should have one or not )

AIBU to think I shouldn't have to ask a grown woman to not leave a fucking mess in the toilet on a daily basis (so even if the train thing could have been an excuse, what were the reasons for every other day?!)

Sorry it's gross, I'm just pissed off and I'm moving out. She's a piece of shit. She ate my food and when I called her out on it, again no apology or offer to replace, just "I probably got confused".

Anyone else have crappy housemates?

[ShumpaLumpa]

Please keep your new toothbrush in your room.

[ResurrectedGoldfish]

I should point out that the fanny pad stuffer and the devourer of the cheese are two separate people.

[ResurrectedGoldfish]

Bleeeuurfgh!! This thread has made me so grateful for being past the whole house sharing phase of my life. I had a flat mate who stuck rolled up used sanitary towels in the inside of toilet rolls and put them behind the toilet bowl 😧😧😧 who does that!!??? In my 4th year, the day before my final recital, my flat mate decided to have a fucking party at 3am. We’d not been speaking to each other for about 3 months because she left bite marks in my cheese 🧀. Astonishingly, we’ve since rekindled our friendship in our 30s and reminisced about cheesegate and the never ending parade of skanky tattooed punk boys that we’d invariably fall madly in love with, and fall out over. Good times.

[MilkybarGrownup]

OP, you're in the final stretch now. Just a short while to go til you're free. When you do leave, photograph EVERYTHING to ensure you don't get the blame of damage etc so you can have your deposit back.

I recall having a housemate/best friend like this. She was outwardly well presented, normal and fun. In the house? Disgusting. She would leave bin bags full of rubbish around the house whenever I had been away somewhere for a week or so. The toilet wouldn't be flushed. She loved drinking milk so would have bottles of it in her bedroom, half empty. Instead of taking them downstairs to the bin once when I'd been gone for a couple of weeks, she had 14 of them piled up on a windowsill near the bathroom, stinking and rotten.
Later, she and my replacement housemate got a dog. An untrained lab sized mongrel who they didn't walk. She just opened the front door and let him into the streets. He'd regularly shit in the house and she'd leave the poops if they were under the table or behind the sofa. She only cleaned up the ones she could see and even then it was a half arsed job citing that it should be her housemate cleaning that up. I didn't visit much.

[flumpybear]

Filthy cow! Uuugggg my worst nightmare house share back when I did - I recall once there being flies in the loo when a bloke student used it and left it covered in crap - vomit mode!

[ciderhouserules]

Some people would expect all people to jsut roll over and pacify everyone. Shit in the loo? Just clean it up yourself, otherwise you are unreasonable. Hairs down the plug? Unless you pull them out yourself, you are U. PA digs and downright unpleasantness - well, if you react to it or get upset, as a normal person would, it's you being the bully!

I wonder how some people manage in the real world, where they are expected to function as a completely normal adult, to clean up after themselves, and do leave other peoples' stuff alone?

How do they have friends? Partners? Flatmates? Colleagues? DO they just wander through life leaving disgusting mess and smelly secretions for others to clean up? And if you don't clean up after her, you are the bully?

[lozengeoflove]

chocolate is clearly the housemate, OP. Ignore

[9amTrain]

@Chocolatecoffeeaddict was I the one who said that I was going to take a picture? No!

[9amTrain]

@Chocolatecoffeeaddict complaining about my housemates genuinely disgusting, manipulative and inconsiderate behaviour on an anonymous forum makes me a bully?

I've been nothing but civil to her or just ignored each other in person. This is my way of venting.

And I haven't posted anything on Facebook like many have suggested, as tempting as it is.

[chaoscategorised]

Oh sorry, that was to @chocolatecoffeeaddict

[chaoscategorised]

Oh god this is bringing back flashbacks of the horrific house share I was in a couple of years ago. I would absolutely call her out on stuff, every time - "I find it really weird that you keep moving my razor, you know" - but really cheerfully so she can't accuse you of being aggressive.

I ended up giving notice and leaving my (lovely) live in landlord a bit stuck, but the other housemate was a relatively of theirs and they were scared to stand up to them. But they were AWFUL. I spent the few weeks of my notice period just calling out every single one of their weird passive aggressive behaviours out really helpfully and it infuriated them because they thought they were being clever. Never again!

And @coffee - her housemate is repeatedly disgusting to the point of leaving her own bodily waste lying about despite being asked not to several times, using her perfectly normal (/even a bit late) start time as an excuse repeatedly, making it difficult for OP to move out, using other people to try and manipulate OP into not doing anything that doesn't suit her, and now doing weird shit with OP's stuff as retaliation. All OP has done is post here (which she'll never read but tbh I hope she does, disgusting wench) and if you're being picky, maybe telling her to chill out if she was actually having a panic attack - which it sounds like she wasn't, just an attempt to manipulate - which could have been seen as mildly insensitive. But given that she's determined to leave her own faeces out in the open I say she could use a bit of sensitivity training herself. So I'm not sure why OP is a 'bully'? Are you the mystery shitter?

[ciderhouserules]

There's always, always one chocolate.

How is the OP responsible for posters telling you to take pix and post them online? Has she said she is going to do so?

No, she hasn't. I think from her postings, that she's actually been quite restrained. How is she the bully?

[katielouise3]

YANBU. I would start looking for a new room-mate.

[itsoknottobeokok]

The day you leave clean the whole bathroom with her toothbrush then put it back in the holder 😉

[Chocolatecoffeeaddict]

And yes, she sounds dirty, but replies from posters telling you to take a picture of the toilet and post it publically is beyond horrible.

[Chocolatecoffeeaddict]

OP, I'm sorry but you sound a bully. Have a read through the thread yourself. Nasty.

[9amTrain]

Shave her PUBES**

[9amTrain]

Yeah I did think about that too. So it's on her own head now 😂

Didn't think of her using it to shave her lines... Ugh 🤢

I have only ever kept myself to myself. It's her that's been nothing but manipulative and inconsiderate, and in really underhand, obscure ways so I can't always outright say something! Like with the razer. Weirdo.

I work two jobs, she sits in the house all day, and decided to do pole dancing in the living room just as I walked through the door gone 10pm the other night. It sounded like the house was caving in because she runs around the room and jumps on the floor by the sounds of it. I had to make a comment that time.

[NoFucksImAQueen]

she did your replacement a favour filling the spot with her friend. if I'd been the replacement I'd have hunted you down after I realised what she was like 😂

[FASH84]

Also she might be using your shaver on her pubes, hide it

[FASH84]

Next time post your request on her FB page 'disgusting HM, despite previous requests you have once again left the toilet in a foul condition at you seem to do daily, I am not cleaning up your shit again, I suggest you seek support in using a toilet for bowel movements like an adult or revert to nappy wearing'

[minisoksmakehardwork]

Honestly, I think it's best she's found her own replacement flatmate. Anyone you put forward, if successful, would be seriously pissed off with you if her habits didn't change.

Just do the bare minimum you can to comply with terms of tenancy for the next few weeks.

[9amTrain]

Oh my god! Less than 3 weeks to go before I can leave.

But she keeps doing little, obscure things to wind me up and messing with my stuff in ways I can't prove is her!

She has started taking my electric shaver out of its holder and just placing it on its side to annoy me. First time I was dubious, but every day this week when it's never been moved before and I know it's her. Who does that?

Fucking sociopath.

[Charolais]

We have a central vac. Three floors of pipes inside the house walls for the sucked-up stuff to make its way down into a giant canister in the basement. My husband vacuumed up a semi-fresh puppy turd years ago. The pup has since died of old age but her turd is still somewhere in the pipe line.

[NotARegularPenguin]

Take a photo. Post it on fb and tag her in it. Shame her into stopping being so grim.