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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paying friend for petrol?

82 replies

Pollyputthekettleon32 · 26/04/2018 15:35

So my friend invited me for lunch,she drove to pick me up (15 min each way ) and I gave her £5 petrol.
She then says her dad says “does (polly) realise petrol isn’t free”
Is £5 petrol not enough?
How much should I be giving?

OP posts:
DD2017 · 26/04/2018 16:20

10p-15p per mile... friend is a CF!
Give what you'd like to not what you think you ought to. Tell her it's her turn to pay next time

BlondeB83 · 26/04/2018 16:22

You’ve given her more than enough! I would send her the maths and ask for the change!!

AmazingPostVoices · 26/04/2018 16:24

I find this entire OP confusing!

I would never in a million years think to offer petrol money to someone who drove me for 15 minutes. Let alone to a lunch they arranged.

Why on earth would 30 yo be discussing her petrol consumption down to the level of individual journeys with her Dad?

Finally I can think of no sensible reason for her to have passed the comment on to you.

Personally OP I’d let that friendship drift.

Nodancingshoes · 26/04/2018 16:26

How ridiculous. The only time I would pay or expect to be paid petrol money is if me and my friends were going somewhere together over 1 hour away and I had or they had offered to drive us all!! Why does a 30 year old woman need to get her dad involved????

A4710Rider · 26/04/2018 16:27

i read threads like this and realise that some people must lead some really shit lives.

If I wanted to go for a coffee with a mate and I went to pick them up It wouldn't enter my head, for a second, to charge them for the petrol.

If they're charging you, they aren't really your friends.

HollowTalk · 26/04/2018 16:28

So was she driving for 30 minutes altogether or an hour? Was she bringing you to her house and returning you or what?

Either way, I've never charged a friend for a lift like that. It's just "I'll pick you up, then." The only time I think people should pay is if they want a regular lift to work and would otherwise have paid for bus or train fares.

user1485342611 · 26/04/2018 16:29

I wouldn't in a million years expect someone to pay petrol money if I offered to collect them for a social outing. Likewise, if someone gives me a lift I would insist on paying for the coffee or whatever, but I would never think to offer petrol money.

Your friend sounds very rude.

RaspberryRuffless · 26/04/2018 16:31

I meet a friend once a week for lunch, I pick her up and drop her off as she doesn’t drive. She lives about 15 minutes away from me. It only uses such a small amount of petrol.

Original poster
Pollyputthekettleon32 · 26/04/2018 16:34

Basically we arranged to meet for food and her dad asked her how I was getting there ...and she said I’m picking her up.
So then her dad made the comment asking if I thought Petrol was free.

OP posts:
user1485342611 · 26/04/2018 16:36

Her dad sounds like a bit of a knob.

expatinscotland · 26/04/2018 16:36

She invited you to have coffee with her, you paid her for petrol and bought her coffee and she gives you some PA bollocks about her dad saying it's not enough? She's a CF to the max. I wouldn't answer her PA bollocks at all and would be busy/have plans any time she suggests anything from now on, being on the road or not. I wouldn't dream of charging a mate for petrol to go some place I was going anyway, or probably otherwise for some journeys if I knew they were off the road for one reason or another, I'd tell 'em to hop in.

expatinscotland · 26/04/2018 16:38

Look, Polly, fuck her and fuck her dad. If she were any kind of mate she'd tell him to butt out (provided he's not entirely supporting her) and certainly wouldn't charge you and allow you to buy her food, too. FFS. I can't imagine doing that to a mate.

Catkins0877 · 26/04/2018 16:38

she sounds like a friend you cud do without.if u want to stay friends with her address issue directly.tell her u felt embarrased and hurt by comment and ask her directly did she expect more

Gemini69 · 26/04/2018 16:39

oh my.. she's a nasty entitled little girl isn't she... is she had something to say then she should say it... instead of hiding under Daddy's shirt tails and repeating his mantra... coward Flowers

mehhh · 26/04/2018 16:39

Wtf unless it's a regular occurrence/ a long journey I wouldn't even dream of asking for money, I bru or a drink would more than cover a lift from me... she's the cheeky one if you ask me!!

Gemini69 · 26/04/2018 16:40

*if

HollowTalk · 26/04/2018 16:40

So did she pay for anything that day?

greendale17 · 26/04/2018 16:41

She told you that to make a point herself

Serialweightwatcher · 26/04/2018 16:43

If I asked someone out for lunch and picked them up, I wouldn't expect anything for petrol but £5 is more than enough for that journey - CF

Dobbyy · 26/04/2018 16:44

If I picked up a friend for lunch for whatever reason I wouldn’t of even took petrol moneyConfused specially not a fiver. If you would if offered I’d just say don’t worry about it or buy me a coffee when there. End off

Andylion · 26/04/2018 16:45

Can’t wait to get back on the road and not rely on lifts etc

Is there history to this? Has she been driving you places recently?

oncemoreunto · 26/04/2018 16:48

I can't imagine accepting or being offered petrol money for such a short journey, let alone a fiver not being enough.
Your friend should start Ubering it would suit her.

GnotherGnu · 26/04/2018 16:49

I really don't understand why she made that comment after you'd given her the money and paid for her coffee. Blatantly you had just demonstrated that you didn't think petrol was free.

Did she sound annoyed? Or (clutching at straws, I know) is it remotely possible that she was saying something to the effect of "My dad wondered if you thought petrol was free but wow, you've been really generous"?

Pigflewpast · 26/04/2018 16:50

Just tell her that YOUR dad says 'does Polly's friend's dad realise that his daughter is a grown adult and a CF to boot?'

^ this, brilliant Nike

shinycat · 26/04/2018 16:54

@pollyputthekettleon32

Woah, that is AWFUL. Some friend! Even if her dad DID say that (and I am wondering if he actually did!) why did she need to tell you? Confused

Like everyone on here I would NEVER have charged my friend for taking her to the pub or restaurant for our lunch, even if SHE had asked ME.

This is the type of person (and her dad if he DID say this,) who will want to split stuff exactly 50% down the middle. Like if you went for a meal, and your meal was £10.50, and theirs was £9.50, they would never just chuck a tenner in, they would INSIST they got their 50p change. Tight arsed fuckers!

Urgh, I fucking HATE people like this. Angry

Did you offer the fiver for petrol, or did she ask?

@amazingpostvoices

I find this entire OP confusing!

I would never in a million years think to offer petrol money to someone who drove me for 15 minutes. Let alone to a lunch they arranged.

Why on earth would 30 she be discussing her petrol consumption down to the level of individual journeys with her Dad?

Finally I can think of no sensible reason for her to have passed the comment on to you. Personally OP I’d let that friendship drift.

All of this. As I said, why did your 'friend' have to pass on her dad's spiteful remark? Confused It reminds me of one time, (around 10 years ago,) when a 'friend' of mine felt the need to tell me that her sister said I have put on weight since she last saw me. Why tell me? It's obviously going to upset me.

This 'friend' is no longer a 'friend' by the way!!! Wink

As has been said, I would start giving your so-called friend a very wide berth.