To wonder if everyone lives in a mess??

[user1472151176]

I'm a SAHM and have been for the past 18 months. I have one child at school and one toddler at home with me. My house is always a mess! I'm sure my house used to be tidier when I worked 4 days a week. I genuinely believed my house would be tidier if I was at home all day but it isn't. My days fly past.
I often wonder what other peoples houses are like and if they would still be immaculate if I spontaneously 'dropped by'.
There is always food on the table and clean clothes to wear but I never seem to be able to get on top of it all.
Tell me I'm not alone ?!?!
I do have a DH. He works long hours and doesn't do any housework but he does help with the kids and cooking and gardening and tidys up the front room every night when I put the kids to bed.

[Barbara1956]

Give yourself a break , kids make mess..it's not forever...I would love a pristine house now my children are grown but my husband has aspergers , hoards lots of stuff so I just concentrate on keeping my home comfortable !!!

[dinoboogie]

DH is honestly the messiest person I’ve ever lived with and basically incapable of tidying up (or looking for things). DC are pre-school. Cats are crackers. I try to keep the house clean but generally give up on the mess unless anyone’s visiting. I’d rather it was tidy but if I were to go around picking up everything after kids and man-child, I would drive myself crazy!

[ralfeesmum]

I remember a saying that went (I think) "A home should be clean enough to be healthy in and dirty enough to be happy in!"

That says it all.

[joanna987]

I find it difficult throwing sealable pots and jam jars away although I do force myself to do this having watched a few hoarders programmes on tv. My house is always untidy, but I do manage to clear things up every now and then. I like doing other things and so do the rest of my family. So long as it isn't squalor I don't worry about it.

[PipGirl404]

I'm the honest to god worst.

My house is VERY tidy. Everything is put away in it's proper place, on the surface it's immaculate... but it's actually a shithole. My skirting boards are dusty there's mud on the walls from my asshole dog, theres dust bunnies gathering under desks I can't be bothered moving, the walls are a puckered mess and it's just not CLEAN. It's a council house though and the shitty woodwork and general awful structure make it hard to keep proper clean.

[blinkineckmum]

Clutter and dirt really make me feel uneasy. I clean every day. I know everyone says not to judge, but I feel really uncomfortable in other people's houses if the floor is dirty, or the bathroom needs a clean.
I have 3 kids under the age of 5 and it's a huge effort to stay on top of it, but worth it to feel more in control I suppose.

[Babyplaymat]

Don't fill the house with stuff. Definitely helps.

[AnothermanicMumday]

Last Friday I bit the bullet and got 2 cleaners in for 3 hours worth (so an hour and a half) to do the bits I do in my clients houses that often get overlooked in my house like skirting boards plus a general clean round, bathroom, kitchen, stairs etc. I picked things up off floor/window ledge etc to make it easier for them and it wasn't awful to start with. Was really looking forward to coming in from a long day cleaning to my house being clean and it was so bad! They hadn't cleaned behind or under things or even mopped floors or hoovered stairs! I live in a 2 up 2 down so 3 hours worth should of been more than enough time to do what I'd asked. They left before I got home so I rang the company owner and she came round and was mortified! I have cctv but didn't want to go down the route of checking up that they'd done the 1.5 hours but she asked me to ... They had left after 45 mins and tried to charge me £37.50!

[StickStickStickStick]

I would love my house to be tidier than it is! When small I prioritised going out with them and playing with them and it is a lot easier now they're at school!

[Chienrouge]

Having said that, it helps that I have a DH who does his share

[Chienrouge]

There's a bit of a feeling on here at times that keeping a tidy house takes you away from your children which doesn't reflect my life and i suspect many other posters

I agree with this. Whenever people say they keep their house clean and tidy, someone invariably says something like ‘I prefer to spend the time with my children’. It is possible to do both. If you don’t want to, that’s absolutely fine. But i manage to spend plenty of quality time with my children while still cleaning/tidying as I go along.

[DaisyInTheChain]

I remember when DC were younger, when the inlaws visited I would be super apologetic as BIL/SIL has a house that was show home tidy. PIL said you have a home, plus 2 DC it's going to be lived in.

There's difference between mess and dirt. I think it's important to highlight the difference as the place was clean but untidy if that made any sense.

It's best to try and do washing up at the end of the day, as the next day you have a tidy kitchen, it's one less thing to worry about. The same with the bathroom, cleans the bath after using it, same for men and the toilet.

I have visited a house that was like a germ breeding ground, I was put off having a drink as cups lay in this stale water that was god knows how old. The kitchen looked like a disaster site / WMD laboratory.

We all have different standards.

But I think most would expect cleanliness, tidiness not so important.

[Teacher22]

Sorry, corrections:-
‘One was to’not ‘was was to’
‘We like it like that’ not ‘we live it like that’
‘Oodles’ not ’ooodles’.

[Teacher22]

I just read an article that suggested a series of things that will make you happy and was was to tidy up. I couldn’t agree more. Clutter is depressing. Having said that my DH and I are both OCD and have been since we were brought up by rather controlling parents. Our house is, therefore, tidy and clean and we live it like that.

I used to have a cleaner when I taught and did not press tidiness on my children as I thought their schoolwork should be prioritised but regret it now as they are both hideously messy and, without their realising it, are miserable being ‘owned’ by the clutter.

Today, I use the household cleaning as a work out. It keeps me fit (Hoovering burns ooodles of calories and so on) and I feel great satisfaction in having a nice house. I keep domestic chores to the early morning only and have the afternoons for leisure time. I worked out I would need to earn about £5000 a year before tax to pay cleaners, gardeners and ironers to do what I do - and then I am saving on gym fees on top. I also listen to story CDs and downloads and Radio Four on demand as I work so there is a cultural aspect to it too.

I know it is not very middle class to do one’s own cleaning but I have no money now to pay others to do it and I like a structure and routine to my life. I figure I am a housemaid in the morning and a duchess in the afternoon.

One final point to those who suggest to the OP to pay a cleaner. Cleaners only clean. They do not tidy so if you pay one you will have to clean up the floors nad surfaces first for the cleaner to be able to get to them.

[GoldenMcOldie]

The main part of the house always stays neat and tidy & clutter free. Kitchen isn't spotless but benchtops are clear of clutter and cupboards are tidy.

I keep the towel/linen cupboards well ordered and stay on top of the laundry and ironing.

The kids rooms, however, are their own little cesspits to live in. DS1 who is 17's room is horrendous. I just shut the door. DS2 (13) is much tidier. DD (10) is terrible - tiny little bits of clutter, small toy parts, general mess everywhere. As long as their rooms are hygienic i.e. no dishes or rubbish, I just ignore the mess with a deep clean for each room when I can no longer stand it.

[Peanutbuttercheese]

I don't buy much actual stuff in the first place and we have lots of storage so it's never too bad and I'm not very sentimental about hanging onto things. So there was never any grand plan it's just the way it is.

[windchimesabotage]

hahaha reddwolff that happened to us as well! We came home and it took us 15 mins to realise we had actually been burgled because the house was such a mess anyway. It wasnt until we realised the laptop was actually gone and not just hidden somewhere that we also realised the lock on the french windows had been forced open.

[Reddwolff]

I know two people with three kids that are chronically messy and they got burgled. The police attended and one of them said sympathetically that they'd have an awful clean up to do as the burglars had trashed the place.

They had to admit the house was always like that.

That said, I'm fairly tidy because I can't live with everything strewn everywhere although we do have our little piles of things here and there. It's nice being able to find things and I do things as I go which keeps on top of it but can be a bit of rod for your back. It's whatever works, provided the important bits are done that is what counts.

[GlomOfNit]

I live in a shit-tip and it's not even clean, or some of it isn't, anyway. Two DSs, older one spreads lego over the floor all the time (no playroom), younger one is severely autistic and creates his own chaos, plus I find it hard to pass on their old toys as he is still very interested in age-inappropriate toys despite being 7 now. I'm not at all a tidy person and do lots of messy, crafty, arty stuff so that's all over the place as well. DH is more or less hobbyless but leaves books, laptops, work stuff on every imaginable surface. We have no playroom, no utility or laundry room and the 'study' is full of shite.

I would despair ... but I won't. You know what? Women spend their lives fretting about this shit. MEN DO NOT. Fuck it. Life is too short.

[aspoonfulofyourownmedicine]

@starlightmeteorite My DH is like that too. He also has a fabulous talent of stacking his washed and folded clean clothes at the side of the bed, alongside the dirty unfolded washing he also leaves at the side of the bed. It gets mixed up and then it's MY fault am I haven't washed his work tshirts or that his dirty stuff is mixed with the clean.

He also has a habit of leaving things where he stands and doesn't put things away, then expects our 8 year old to do what he doesnt....... men!!

[Singadream]

3 kids under 7. Ours is a tip. Toys everywhere even though in theory they live in the kids' rooms or the playroom. Washing all over the kitchen floor in 'to be washed' 'to be dried' or 'to be put away' piles. Washing up in sink waiting for dishwashing to be finished so next load can go on. Kids' artwork drying everywhere. Unopened post. Total tip. We have a cleaner once a week so at least I know kitchen and bathroom not too unhygenic. tbf ours was a tip pre kids too (though not quite as much)

[MotherOfWurzel]

There's a bit of a feeling on here at times that keeping a tidy house takes you away from your children which doesn't reflect my life and i suspect many other posters.

If you are walking to the kitchen for instance, you can either pick up any litter and used cups etc on your way, or you can leave them.
While youre waiting for a bath to run or supervising your child in the bath, you can run a wipe over the sink and fire some cleaner down the toilet, or you can leave it. While youre waiting for the kettle to boil, you can wipe the kitchen counter/ put away some clutter, or you can leave it.

It's the little things you do as you go along that make it manageable, its not about ignoring your children while you're up to your elbows in dettol.

[Afreshcuppateaplease]

Its messy here

Im a sahm

4 dc aged between 1 and 10

[clairedelalune]

House can be clean but messy. I am sat on sofa in living room vacuumed, decluttered and dusted last night, but now under nuclear explosion where toddler has tipped all toys out....

[AnothermanicMumday]

I'm a cleaner ... and my house is messy! I hate the fact that I leave everyone else's house really tidy to come home to but haven't got the time or energy to do my own to that standard. I have started doing a drawer or cupboard in the kitchen whilst the tea is cooking or wiping the bathroom down when the bath is running etc. I tip a drawer from my bedroom onto my bed in the morning so I have to do it when I get in so I can go to bed