Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ken Dodd marriage

149 replies

BringMeTea · 12/03/2018 22:39

To be delighted he married his partner of 40 years 3 days before he died? I have known of several cases where unmarried long term partners end up with nothing and the government take the lot. Given his historical very public tax evasion case (which he won afaik) it must have put his mind at rest to know his partner would inherit.

OP posts:
lostlemon · 13/03/2018 19:40

Civil partnerships are only available to same sex couples. I think there is a couple who are trying to get civil partnerships extended to heterosexual couples because so many don't want to marry.

Cassimin · 13/03/2018 19:43

The accent is completely different in different areas of Liverpool.
There is a definite north/south divide on how people sound.

Time40 · 13/03/2018 19:53

I want civil partnerships for straight couples

So do I. I think I need to get married to DP now (because we are getting old and starting to worry about death, money and taxes) but I really, really, really don't want to, and neither does he. We hate the thought of being married.

Bluelady · 13/03/2018 19:56

Genuine curious question - when the implications of a civil partnership and marriage are identical, why be prepared to do one and not the other?

CotswoldStrife · 13/03/2018 19:56

Not every Scouser sounds like John Bishop - I think he has a really strong accent that people assume is Scouse. There are variations of Scouse!

kittensinmydinner1 · 13/03/2018 20:01

A civil marriage - pronounced by a registrar is just that - a secular registration of a civil partnership. It is not permitted to be religious in anyway. We weren't even allowed a Baptist song 'oh happy day' playing because it had the word 'Jesus' in it. !

Not getting married because of a belief that it is a patriarchal social construct is really only going to benefit the chancellor of the exchequer. But that is your right to do so.

Beetlejizz · 13/03/2018 20:05

CP and marriage aren't quite legally identical. Adultery is grounds for divorce, but not dissolution of CP. There are presumably some straight couples who would prefer this. For the rest I think it's just some kind of principle.

Bluelady · 13/03/2018 20:08

OK. You're not allowed to have anything religious at a registy office marriage either.

OutsideContextProblem · 13/03/2018 20:13

That’s what kittens meant by a civil marriage blue - a non-church wedding.

There was a very funny thread the other day when the OP’s DBIL had returned from a long stay abroad and announced (by text) that he’d be bringing along his “civil partner”. OP and DH were gobsmacked because they’d met the person in question and she certainly looked like a woman but they didn’t want to pry. Inevitably the resolution was that DBIL was an idiot who didn’t know the important difference between a civil wedding and a civil partnership but genuinely thought he’d got the latter.

Time40 · 13/03/2018 20:14

Genuine curious question - when the implications of a civil partnership and marriage are identical, why be prepared to do one and not the other?

Bluelady, we just don't like all the historical baggage it comes with.

Beetlejizz · 13/03/2018 20:18

Do people who want to be able to have a CP not also have a problem with the baggage they come with?

Chugger77 · 13/03/2018 20:20

Why do scousers say “like” all the time. The younger ones in particular. It’s literally at the end of every sentence.

Butterymuffin · 13/03/2018 20:21

Almost everyone under 25 says 'like' all the time. It's not exclusive to scousers!

bettinasofine · 13/03/2018 20:26

time40

Why not just get married in a registry office then?

kittensinmydinner1 · 13/03/2018 20:40

It's everyone's right not to get married but an incredibly high price to pay for a principal. Especially as you can pop down the registry office on a Wednesday lunchtime and have a civil registration with two strangers as witnesses for under £250. and save yourself lawyers fees for agreements that don't come close bestowing the same benefits .
That said , it does make me wonder if those in long term relationships really do BOTH feel the same about marriage when this reason is given
. My experience with my best friend - lived with 'd' p for 25 yrs and 4dcs , he didn't 'believe' in marriage until he met his 26yr old girlfriend on a business trip. Turns out he just didn't believe in marriage with my friend.

LapdanceShoeshine · 13/03/2018 20:44

Someone I know will not marry because she doesn’t want to be a ”wife”.

To her a wife is a sort of male accessory. A civil partner is an equal. Hmm

Bluelady · 13/03/2018 20:53

Surely marriage is whatever you want it too be? I wasn't particularly bothered either way and did it for purely practical reasons; my husband sees it differently. At the end of the day, the result is the same.

Fortybingowings · 13/03/2018 21:00

Ken Dodd was in trouble with the Inland Revenue in 1989 for alleged tax fraud. He was acquitted. I like to think this is his way of sticking two fingers up-to them on his death bed! A quickie marriage denies them £££££ in inheritance taxes 😂😂😂😂

Beetlejizz · 13/03/2018 21:12

Your acquaintance is against sexism but alright with the othering of gay people then lapdance? How odd.

Time40 · 13/03/2018 21:19

*time40

Why not just get married in a registry office then?*

It's still marriage. All that's missing is the religious bit.

Do people who want to be able to have a CP not also have a problem with the baggage they come with?

They don't come with anything like as much.

I don't really want to do either, because I absolutely hate the idea of the State being involved in my private affairs, but if I have to do one, I would much, much rather have a CP. We're going to hang on for another couple of years, and hope for a change in the law.

Beetlejizz · 13/03/2018 21:35

They come with plenty, though. For those objecting to the problematic connotations of a particular institution, it would make more sense to want something new entirely, while we're changing the law.

Bluelady · 13/03/2018 21:40

To be honest I think there's more chance of civil partnerships being scrapped than extended to straight couples.

LapdanceShoeshine · 13/03/2018 21:41

@Beetlejizz

Your acquaintance is against sexism but alright with the othering of gay people then lapdance? How odd

As gay couples now have the choice of CP or marriage, & straight couples only have marriage, it’s she who feels othered!

I find the patriarchal baggage thing slightly insulting, as if those of us who do marry are somehow chattels & inferior, but hey Confused

LapdanceShoeshine · 13/03/2018 21:44

@Bluelady

To be honest I think there's more chance of civil partnerships being scrapped than extended to straight couples

We certainly don’t need both now.
A short plain register office ceremony should suffice to cover the legal requirements.

I literally do not understand the objections.

ADishBestEatenCold · 13/03/2018 21:48

"I've promised DP I'll marry him on his deathbed and made him promise he'll marry me on mine."

I have known two couples who made those kind promises to each other, GrooovyLass, where one partner died suddenly before they could marry.

Just two, certainly, but that seems like an awful lot, for one person to know!