Leave work early for 'parents evening'

[coffeeforone]

I would need to leave work about an hour early for the last appointment at DS's first parents evening at nursery. How does your employer treat this time off? Can they refuse?

WIBU to just say i have an 'appointment' at DS's nursery and expect them to treat it the same as they would e.g. a dentist appointment (which they say is basically fine at the start/end of the day). Or would you a take half day annual leave as it's not medical?

[IrkThePurist]

If they make you work through lunch then they already owe you the time ffs

[coffeeforone]

Can your partner not go? I know it is nice to go to these things but only one of you needs to and it is good to get into the habit of taking turns so that one employer doesn't take all the hit iyswim.

Yes he could. He works close to the nursery so does pick up/drop off every day. And his employers are more flexible so he is usually the one who takes time off when DS is ill, has a doc appt etc. I was just thinking of going to this one.

[HotelEuphoria]

Parents evening at nursery?

Seriously I would have a word with the nursery and ask if they had any concerns that you needed to be aware of because work meams it isn't possible to attend. You wont be the only one.

Seriously, how much can there be to discuss?

[coffeeforone]

Seriously, how much can there be to discuss?

It's because DS is ready to move to the next room so we can meet his new carers and see the new room. I dont do pick up and drop off so its more the chance to meet the staff.

[UpABitLate]

I agree it's nice to attend these things if you can, if you don't do dropoff / pickup and have not really met the people who are working with your kids etc. I'm in the same boat. Luckily my employer is v flexible.

Hope it is fine for you. I think many people who are good at getting things how they want them just proceed on the basis it's fine unless told not, I am like you and tend to ask almost expecting there to be problems and then I think you get more no-s. So I think the approach you have taken is a good one.

[Redpony1]

It would be unpaid time here, but would never be refused. All child related absence is unpaid in most places.

[GeekyBlinders]

My employee is very easy-going about things like this, and wouldn't expect you to take leave. We're judged very much on our results rather than on whether we're in the office, though.

[mindutopia]

It depends on your contract really. In my contract, I have no set work hours or even number of hours I'm expected to work per week. It's a professional position with the expectation that I get my work done and am generally present for important meetings and other events in the office. But whether I work 8-4 or 9-5 or whatever doesn't matter. People leave early or come in late all the time for personal appointments. You just make sure the work gets done. So for school commitments, I either go in a bit early or work a bit that evening if it's a busy day and I need to get certain things done. Otherwise, if there's nothing pressing to get done, I just leave early and assume the time will be made up the next time I have a pressing deadline and need to work extra hours.

[SparkleFizz]

My last employer would have either asked you to make up the time on another day during the week, or to take half a day’s leave. Any working through lunch suggestions were always refused on the grounds that

[Jenny17]

If it was a one off I’d be tempted to have a dentist / medical appointment for something that is urgent.

Moving on you will really need a bit more flexibility from an employer for parents evenings, plays, sports days etc.

[SparkleFizz]

Oops, posted too soon....

Any working through lunch suggestions were always refused on the grounds that they had to legally give you a break so you technically weren’t allowed to work through lunch.

Nursery parents evening appointments weren’t treated in the same way as medical / dental appointments, as they would allow paid leave for medical / dental appointments, but not other personal appointments.

[omnishambles]

In an inflexible office I would be tempted to strike an agreement in a 1:1 setting that you could go to x number of these things per year and your partner would go to x number - your employer would then know in advance, you wouldn't feel stressed having to negotiate each time and you have taken a forward thinking and professional approach to the problem.

[pumpkinpie01]

My employers used to frown until they had kids of their own then they were a lot more amenable. I take time off for sports days, lunches etc and stay later but then I only work til 3 so can do that. In your case I would offer to work through lunch, you're not going to want to miss sports days etc when they start school so test the water now, good luck!

[StealthPolarBear]

" just tell ask if you can owe them the time you need off / request flexible working and maybe clarify that it will be a rare occurrence.".
I'd be wary of doing this. As your child gets older I tend to find this sort of thing gers mors frequent

[Allthewaves]

annual leave, unpaid leave or make up the time

[UpABitLate]

omni the difficulty with that is if they say no, then she can never go to any full stop.

[SingingSeuss]

Can you start looking for a new job with a more flexible employer? They need to start being more flexible if they want to retain staff. This is 2018. Tell them you have an appointment and will make the time up. If they have a problem you need to find a new job, it's only going to get worse when you did is at school.

[Jackiebrambles]

I agree they really need to be flexible about this. Things are changing in the workplace and they seem like dinosaurs if they don't change along with the rest of the world.

You aren't looking for a free pass, just to be able to take an appointment that is important for your family.

I agree that it will only get worse too. My son started school last year and the inset days, sports days, assemblies etc all need managing (either with holidays/working from home etc). Not to mention 13 weeks holiday a year! (but that's another story!).

[Jackiebrambles]

Although to be fair I have parents evening at both nursery and school and neither of them start before 6pm to enable parents to actually get there!

[RedSkyAtNight]

I would normally ask to make up the time by starting early or finishing late on another day.

If it was more than an hour or so, I'd be expected to take leave. And tbh I would suggest not bothering to take leave for a nursery parents evening!

I would not be treated the same as a dentist/medical appointment in as much as work normally bend over backwards to accommodate these, but would expect me to take "no"for an answer for something like a parents' evening if there was a reason the timing was bad (too many staff out, important meetings I couldn't miss etc).

[mirime]

Although to be fair I have parents evening at both nursery and school and neither of them start before 6pm to enable parents to actually get there!

Plenty of people work until 6 or later and have travel time. DH is rarely home before 7. I'm a bit more flexible, but most of that flexibility has gone into working my hours over 4 days and I can't work later than about 6.20ish as my last bus is just after 6.30 so it can be difficult to make up hours.

[mistressiggi]

Your dh shouldn't do all the sick-kid days. Just because he has a fairer employer, that is taking advantgage. You must be entitled to some form of leave when required. Your employer won't change if they are never challenged.

[Luckymummy22]

I normally leave early for dD’s School parent evening. Means I can do it whilst kids are in childcare. I work through lunch and actually only leave 10 mobs early or so.
For Nursery it doesn’t start until 6pm at earliest so no conflict.
But I will make every one

[BishBoshBashBop]

Put it in you Calender and tell you boss you need to leave early for parent/teacher meeting.

Which they can refuse.

[farfallarocks]

I would let/expect anyone on my team to go to things like this, its important. Same goes for sports days/plays. No one takes it as holiday,