I posted an AIBU a while ago about wanting DH to take notice of the chores that need doing around the house. Following the advice I put together a weekly schedule and put it on the fridge (I got the template from Mydarlaclementine.com and found it really useful to set out everything that needs doing on a weekly and monthly basis and split it over the week!!) with asterisks next to anything that DH can pitch in with.
One of the daily tasks is to spray the bathroom surfaces with the daily cleaner after the shower's been used (one of the ones that doesn't need to be wiped off). I asked DH to remember to do this as he has a shower every morning. He's been a bit sporadic with remembering, but this morning after coming out of the bathroom I heard him rush back in and start spritzing.
The only 'problem' was that the old bottle of spray had run out, so I'd bought a new one and reused the bottle to mix up a Zoflora spray, but hadn't had time to write on the bottle what it was or get the new one out of the cupboard.
DH made a point of proudly mentioning to me that he'd remembered to spritz the shower and I thanked him, but pointed out that I'd now switched the bottle, so he needed to use the different brand from now on.
He then threw up his hands and said 'Oh FFS that's the last time that I'm bothering to do it then'
I said there was no need to get annoyed, he'd just have to look out for a different bottle.
Then he said 'Well you should have told me before I wasted my time spraying the shower. I suppose you want me to respray it'
I told him no, the shower spray can't be sprayed over the top of another cleaner, but that the stuff in the bottle is disinfectant, so it didn't matter for today.
'FFS, you can do it yourself from now on then' he said.
I pointed out it wasn't a problem, he hadn't done anything wrong and all I was saying was that he needs to look out for the new bottle but he wasn't having any of it.
Is it just me or was this a (completely baffling) over-reaction from DH over such a little thing???
AIBU?
To think this is a bit of an over-reaction on DH's part?
MiniMummy576 · 16/01/2018 16:38
I think I’ve spotted the problem. OP you need a DS, not. DH. 
Thank you for all the responses. A few people have said the same sort of things so I'll just try to clarify a few general points.
We are a family of list makers, so for me to make a list isn't that unusual. It's a family schedule - for the family to follow, it's not specifically mine and not specifically his - (in theory) we both 'pitch in' with the family work. It's shared housework, by the household.
(although if you think making a reward schedule would work....?! )
It's not a PA schedule, I discussed it with him when I'd finished and he agreed that it was a good idea. It helps me to organise my time and stop my DH wandering around asking for me to tell him what to do (the subject of my original post) and me having to do a mad mental scramble thinking of jobs to give him - now I can just point to the list and say 'anything with an asterisk, honey'. We've had some limited success with this as last week when he saw it was the evening I was going to clean/steam the living room carpet, he tidied away the toys and hoovered the floor. As it happens the fact that I now have a schedule to follow means I know I only have about 6-8 jobs to do in an evening instead of trying to run through a seemingly never-ending list in my head. It also helps when baby-brain strikes and I can't remember which day I last washed the bedding on...!
I assume everyone who's been pretty blistering about the schedule also scorns all to-do lists, shopping lists, meal planners and calendars because they all work on the same principle - household organisation.... 
'Daily shower sprays' are available pretty much everywhere...? The one I've just switched from was Method (so no nasty chemicals and the bottle was well-rinsed). As I mentioned in my OP the shower needs to be sprayed after it's been used (it just happens that he showers every day)- much like you'd flush the toilet after you've been, you just need to spritz the shower - and, as I say, he's remembered sporadically. I did the schedule back in early December, I think he's remembered about 5 or 6 times and I always thank him (including yesterday, which I did mention in my post). There are 3 reasons the shower needs spraying after the last use: 1) we live in a very hard water area and it stains the tiles and bath pink 2) the grout isn't anti-mould and everything sticks to it like sh*t to a blanket and 3) the work cack that DH washes off every day stains the bath black.
So in order to avoid the person who cleans the bathroom spending half an hour scrubbing the grout with a toothbrush and then having to scrub the bath too, we agreed to use the daily spray and it's been working rather well.
I know I said he felt like his time had been wasted, and a few of you have agreed - but I did tell him that he'd still sprayed the bath, so that was it, job done. Also, let's not lose our heads here. He spritzed the bath with a bit of spray, not painted the Sistine Chapel. It took less time than it does for his morning wee (!)
We can't afford a cleaner. No ifs, no buts. Do not pass go, do not collect £200.
As @mytoesaregettingfatter, @FeckTheMagicDragon and a few others have said, I think it pretty much boils down to this: the job was done. He was congratulated. He was advised of a change to future practice. An impersonation of Kevin was thrown. It seemed a little excessive.
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