Starting chemo soon, what are your top tips?

[SheNumpty]

Not really an AIBU, but I'm hoping to tap into the experience of the many by posting here.

I'm starting chemo in the next few weeks, I will lose my hair in the process. Although I went with to many chemo sessions four years ago with my Mum, whom we sadly lost, I don't really know what to expect for myself - I think my Mum hid a lot of it from me.

I have a two year old DD, and I want to maintain as much sense of normality as possible. I know I'm not being unreasonable to ask you guys, so do you have any tips, advice, resources, to get me and my family through the next seven months?

[SheNumpty]

Thank you all so much for replying. There are a few I will reply to over the next few days, but I've just come back from seeing my consultant at the hospital and been told that my treatment is to control my cancer, because they can't cure it, so I need some time to digest. I'll be back when I've taken that bit of news in, please don't think I've done a runner and am ignoring any questions.
Thank you all again, sincerely.

[TheSpottedZebra]

Oh She really sorry to hear that.

Have you seen this thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/3071667-CANCER-SUPPORT-THREAD-60-Here-we-are-again-join-us-if-you-have-any-sort-of-cancer-or-if-youre-waiting-for-cancer-test-results ? A friendly bunch, at all various stages of cancer. That might be a good place to look for people who have been exactly where you are? x

[whiskyowl]

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

One thing that really helped my Mum was crystallised ginger. It helped with the feelings of sickness she sometimes got after the drugs.

Really, really comfy clothes - Sloggi pants, yoga trousers, soft merino tops.

If people ask what they can do, take them up on it. Don't be polite. They will be grateful for a chance to help. "There's nothing I need right now, but if you could be on standby and could take DD if I need a break, that would be so wonderful". And do it if you need it.

[DML13]

Hi, I am sorry to read that you are going through chemo. I work in a Cancer Unit and I understand you desire to maintain normality for your DD. If hair loss is a concern, you can ask for a 'Cold Cap' - essentially a cap you wear which is extremely cold whilst you're having chemo, this will reduce (but not prevent hair loss). Also we do a great wig service so some of our ladies, make a very seamless transition from having hair to then wearing a wig. One of my patient's completely fooled me the other day, as wigs nowaday are pretty good and look authentic. I agree with the top tips from other posters, accept all the help you can get. For the first week after chemo you will feel low in energy so pace yourself and you'll have to become obsessive about hygiene - hand washing/alcohol gel on hands is a must. Good luck and perhaps post again and lets us all know how you are getting on. X

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

It looks like you've probably got all the tips you need, but then I saw your latest update and I'm so sorry. SpottedZebra has already linked to the cancer thread so do come and join us if you think it would help. There's nobody with the same cancer, but there are a few of us in the incurable boat who will understand a bit of what you are feeling

I also have an ileostomy so can empathise on that front too! (If there's anything specific you're struggling with, feel free to ask/PM me in case I can help)

[AgathaMystery]

I'm really sorry. I hope that as you start treatment, more options become available to you xxx

[Motoko]

I'm sorry to hear that your treatment is palliative. I just want to say that my cancer was diagnosed 5 years ago. Because they couldn't remove the tumour, my treatment has also been palliative.
I didn't expect to live this long, but here I still am. I pretty much shut down for a couple of years, but I started to live my life again, and made sure I had things a little in the future to look forward to. I'm planning another holiday next year. It's only 5 months away, so I'm hoping I'll still be able to go. I've found that looking forward to things is really important to my mental health.

I hope you have a lot longer than you think and can make the most of living with cancer. Sending you some unMumsnetty (((hugs))).

[OneInEight]

Emend. Emend. Emend. Anti-nausea drug - expensive so they are reluctant to give it to you straight away but is the one that worked for me. Also take the anti-nausea drugs sooner than they say. Wait till you start feeling sick and you will be throwing up all night. Mouth washes help reduce mouth ulcers. Eat fruit so you don't get constipated. Your taste changes (only time in my life I haven't wanted chocolate) but strong tasting things were much better and important to keep eating. Be kind to yourself - I carried on working through the first half of chemo but in retrospect I should have taken the whole time off and used my energy for the family. It is tough but you do get through it.

[OneInEight]

So sorry missed your last update so my post may have been tactless.

[BlondeB83]

I have no advice but I just wanted to send postivive vibes and good luck.

[youarenotkiddingme]

My mum had a craving for salt and vinegar Pringles and skittles so I’d say stock up when you get cravings!

She also felt very cold and we bought her the fleecy soft touch nightwear, slippers and socks as she said her skin felt sore. A soft pillow and bedding is a must because the skin on your head can be sore if you lose your hair.

My mum got a wig - she paid for it. However she preferred to wear bandanas most of the time so its worth buying yourself a number of them you can match to your outfit and feel like it’s a fashion choice rather than a chore. That’s one of the biggest things my mum said.

[elportodelgato]

Hi SheNumpty,

I had chemo (3 yrs ago for breast cancer). My suggestions would be:

1. lots of treats and creature comforts at home for the 'bad' days
   
2. call on all support you can muster to take over childcare etc while you are in bed - there will likely be 3-4 days each cycle where you're literally bed bound
   
3. plan fun things to do on your 'good' days, I found week 3 of each cycle I felt brilliant and could see friends, go running, spoil myself
   
4. manicures. I got addicted, dark colours apparently protect your nails and I anyway didn't want to look at my black flaky nails as it just reminded me of it too much
   
5. 'look good feel better' make up session, if you google it you'll find one near you. Invaluable and I came away with a huge bag of expensive make up which was a real treat
   
   Unfortunately for me, my cancer popped up again last year and it has spread so I'm now stage 4 (like you) and having more treatment to control it but with no prospect of cure. Please feel free to PM me, I don't have any solutions by any means but I'm a year into my 'terminal' diagnosis and very happy to chat. Lots of love and hold tight to those around you xx