To wonder why anxiety and depression are so prevalent?

[Triplesalchow]

I am struggling dreadfully at the moment. I have had anxiety for a long time and recently I feel things slipping into depression. I'm getting some professional help.
I'm reluctant to share with many people close to me as I worry they will think I'm jumping on some kind of bandwagon. I know so many people with similar issues, people at work are off sick with it and you can read about how common it is in the media daily. Why is that the case? Was it always like this but it's just being talked about/ diagnosed now? Is it modern living? In which case why can't we as society change our lives to improve our mental health? Nothing really happened in my life to trigger it. Anyone got any insight into this?

[FlowerPot1234]

Perfect people with perfect lives and perfect bodies are everywhere. We are all supposed to have beautiful houses and beautiful hair and go to wonderful places on holiday.

People with high self esteem and high resilience are not affected by all of this, don't you see? Only those who lack resilience, who choose to base their lives on looking at these images and are so weak as to believe this is what they want, then go after it do.

The rest see those images and they have no impact on them whatsoever.

[cathyclown]

Bereavement and loss is a big trigger. But we are supposed to go back to work/life in between death and funeral and it cannot be spoken about, no one knows how to deal with it.

Just another thing that happens. In the past everyone got together for a funeral it was a community thing, because nothing else ever happened!

Nowadays it is very different, but the bereaved are bereft and have little outlet for their grief because it is difficult for others to understand or have time for mostly. Move on and all that.

[Iwanttobe8stoneagain]

I believe modern life has just about satuated our emotional capacity. We are expected to be perfect employees giving our life to our careers, perfect friends, perfect partners giving our partners everything they need, perfect parents pushing our kids to perfection, spend time at the gym eat less than we need whilst all the time being told what we should think and say. We are surround by people always wanting things from us. Quite frankly I’m surprised if people are suffering from some sort of stress or mental illness these days

[Neoflex]

It's common for people to live their lives with:
Very limited natural food (all processed).
Very limited natural light (commute before sunrise and day spent in an office)
Very little water (just fizzy drinks, tea, coffee)
Poor air quality (polluted cities, limited access to greenery)

We wouldn't expect a houseplant to thrive in these circumstances. yet we sometimes probably treat them better than we do ourselves.

[redexpat]

Having lived in a country with a reputation for a better work life balance for 10 years now, I look back on my working life in the uk and realise how shit it was. Theres so much conflict, no one is ever taught to cooperate, misogony is rife, wages are low and the conditions are shite. So much everyday bullying. Everyone has to be on top be the best all the time, but there needs to be a place for everyone in society, not just the superstars.

[CauliflowerSqueeze]

red which country do you now live in?

neoflex you just summed up my week!

[Neoflex]

cauliflower oh no, how do you expect to grow. Start taking some care of yourself like a beautiful rose
Walk in the daylight outside for 10 minutes in your lunchbreak with a bottle of water and some healthy snacks. And buy some sexy greenery for your desk.

[cathyclown]

Americanisation has infiltrated Europe. Well the UK part of Europe anyway, the rest of Europe seems to manage fine with siestas and ordinary lives that are not too rigid at all.

US work up to twenty hour days and get two weeks holiday (vacation time) per year.

But it is all " presenteeism" and not usually productive, but everyone is afraid to be the first to leave the office for fear of tut tut, or no promotion. It is dire.

Add to that the SM dictats and bullying. What results from that?

Brexit will mean Americanisation. I hope you understand that and embrace it.

[Nightshirt]

They also understand that they don't have to deal with it; the safety net is there for them to be "off sick" with it.

Somone who has never had to apply for sickness benefits...

[BagelGoesWalking]

Placemarking so I can read properly tomorrow.

[shouldnthavesaid]

I was told my anxiety problems started at about age 3 or 4. I grew up in a household with no stability. My mum was too ill and my dad was too absent. I had to be mum. I always expected the worst of everything and everyone and leaving home, leaving my mum, sleeping was terrifying. If my mum was away from me I would be inconsolable. I used to head bang and never felt settled anywhere.

At 17 it got worse. I stopped leaving the house altogether at 19. It took me 3 years to get that mended.

At 21 I was diagnosed with OCD, major depression, generalised anxiety disorder and ?? personality disorder and ?ASD.

I'm now 26 and live 200 miles from home but still have a fear constantly. It's at a constant 8/10 occasionally building to 10/10. Only way I can relax is if I'm with my mum or another 'safe' person. It's a living hell sometimes.. certainly I was never mollycuddled or hidden from rl - the first time I remember being in an ambulance taking my mum to hospital with me and my sister on the seats at side I was 4.

I didn't tell anyone until I was 19 or 20 though and that didn't help. I tried many times to say but noone wanted to hear it.

[Ropsleybunny]

A counsellor I know thinks all the grim stuff on TV increases depression rates. He tells all his patients to switch off.

[shouldnthavesaid]

I have a big family history too though - my mum had ECT at 24, my paternal grandmother took her own life, my maternal grandparents are alcoholics.. I do think 'man hands on misery to man'.

[OldWitch00]

ropsley, long ago I ditched all the CSI tv series along with the violent ones like peakie blinders etc. along with sexually explicit shows...it just didn't leave me feeling good. why on earth would I put myself through the discomfort that followed...mind racing and feeling sick to my stomach.

[BonnieF]

Insane levels of materialism and consumerism.

Social media, much of which is specifically designed to promote insecurity and anxiety about appearance, possessions, social status, vomi etc

Too much screen time. Way, way too much screen time (she types on her iPad.....)

Absurdly over-protected, mollycoddled children and teens who never learn to develop any physical or mental toughness and resilience.

Unhealthy, unnatural diets with far too much processed food, junk food, caffeine and, above all, sugar.

Politicians and media organisations who use fear-mongering, hate-mongering and blatant lies to sow paranoia and to divide people and communities. This applies to both left and right wings.

Apart from that, life in 21st century Britain is great....

[MadisonMontgomery]

I think people expect too much. People seem to think they should be really happy all the time, and if you aren’t 100% happy constantly then you need to seek help, get medicated etc. It just makes people dwell on things and get obsessed that they must be depressed etc rather than just getting a grip and getting on with it.

[PiffleandWiffle]

People don't live in the real world any more - it's all about TV where everyone else is better off than you, Online Crappy Forums where everyone else is better off than you. People push a reality onto you that isn't true but you bust a gut trying to match it.

Mumsnet (and others) can be positively toxic in that respect.

Get outdoors more, get interests that involve getting away with just yourself, or a couple of people.

Challenge yourself physically & mentally in the real world.

I do lots of outdoorsy stuff - some for myself, others as a volunteer helping others do it. Without a doubt, I meet more confident, happy & "chilled out" people climbing, paddling, walking or cycling than I do anywhere else.

Give it a go, turn off & get out.....

[JustHope]

For teens and young people social media is the worst thing that happened to them. It’s all about how you look, being seen and showing off. Everyone else looks like they are having such a great time and I’m stuck in my room with my boring family. When I was a teen we were none the wiser about what others were up to. Now it’s all glamorous selfies and photos of shopping bags or exotic holidays.

[FlowerPot1234]

For teens and young people social media is the worst thing that happened to them.
Their choice to be glued to it, their choice to obsess over it, their choice to feed it and contribute to it, their choice to value what's on there is the worst thing that some let happen to them.

It’s all about how you look, being seen and showing off.
Yes, like magazines and tv shows were when I was growing up. Reject it.

Everyone else looks like they are having such a great time and I’m stuck in my room with my boring family.
See through it. Have high enough self esteem to do this, to reject it, to see it for the vacuous nonsense it is. Have enough decency to respect your own family life.

When I was a teen we were none the wiser about what others were up to.
We weren't updated every second, true. But we could phone and hang out at places where we could know what others were doing. Some did. But others, we didn't bother. We didn't want to be part of it, nor care about it.

Now it’s all glamorous selfies and photos of shopping bags or exotic holidays.
Now it's hideously deformed celebrities and material possessions usually brought with someone else's wealth. Smart children reject it and see through it.

[JorlyWood]

The problem is definitely modern day living. Lack of any original thinking for example. How many people have googled "why am I so sad?" or "how can I feel better?". Children are growing up with the internet at their fingertips and it is so easy (I know because I do it too) to search Google for any question you might have rather than think about it yourself and perhaps find a solution that works for you or maybe even realise whilst thinking that it isn't as bad as you thought.

The biggest problem however is the media. Advertising companies are allowed free reign to mess with our brains. We are subjected to constant bombardment of "perfect" looking women. We are told that we will only be wanted by anyone if we look like these photoshopped models. As you get older you realise that this is a load of bollocks but the young minds are especially impressionable.

As others have said the lack of anything natural in our lives also contributes to our general mental ill health. Processed foods and little outdoors time (glued to screens instead).

I honestly don't know how it is going to get better. There is already an epidemic of self harm and depression in teenage/young adult females. Of course the blame is put on lack of money and not enough counsellors in schools but since when did we need counsellors in schools. I don't know, when I was in school we were too busy playing and having fun. There is so much insecurity which breeds bullying amongst these kids. Hiring more counsellors is not going to solve it. We need to cut to the core of the problem and stop letting these huge corporations shove pictures of photoshopped women which set hugely unrealistic expectations for our children. But that's the essence of capitalism isn't it. Prey on our insecurities in order to make money.

Can you tell this really pisses me off?

[JorlyWood]

FlowerPot1234
Their choice to be glued to it, their choice to obsess over it, their choice to feed it and contribute to it, their choice to value what's on there is the worst thing that some let happen to them.

Not really. I guess you are one of these people who say drug users should just stop taking drugs or smokers should just stop smoking. Addiction to social media is a thing. Maybe you should have a read of this article: www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/8/9/3528/htm?hc_location=ufi

[FlowerPot1234]

JorlyWood

What a peculiar post. The paper you linked to supports personality correlations which I wrote of previously, and it says absolutely nothing that goes against what I wrote about choice.

"Addiction to social media is a thing" isn't a scientific or plausible statement you know. All addictions are broken by merely making choices. All addictions can be prevented by merely making different choices. All addiction treatments are targeted to get to one outcome: to get the addict to choose to stop.

So yes, I am "one of those people who say drug users should just stop taking drugs and smokers should just stop smoking". Because that's exactly what treatments do, in a long-winded way. It's all choice.

[JorlyWood]

I only linked that article because it describes some types of addiction related to social media and the internet in general which from your posts I assumed you didn't believe possible.

I am well aware I am not the most scientific or even coherent of writers at times but there is no need to revert to ad hominem.

I disagree with your thinking that whilst addicted to something it is easy to just make a choice to stop. For example if we got two people to sit down. One was a heavy smoker and the other hadn't smoked a cigarette in their lives. We then placed a cigarette in front of each of them and told them not to smoke it. Which person would find this more difficult? Of course the heavy smoker. Their brain would be saying "I need it, I need it", their thoughts would be racing and they would become anxious and stressed and it is so easy to rectify this by just having that one last cigarette.

[Intercom]

Yes, it has always been like this. It wasn't talked about anything like this much even if you go back only a few decades. It was something to feel ashamed of and keep hidden. Go back earlier still and there were many unwell people in asylums, and records of people who were considered demon-possessed instead of ill. Even now there is still a significant "pull yourself together" brigade.

[BrizzleDrizzle]

The pressure of seeing the 'perfect lives' presented on social media.
The loneliness of modern life - people too busy for friendships, higher divorce rates, people not living near family.
Poverty
Pressure of work - longer hours

The modern world is often not a happy place.