To wonder why anxiety and depression are so prevalent?

[Triplesalchow]

I am struggling dreadfully at the moment. I have had anxiety for a long time and recently I feel things slipping into depression. I'm getting some professional help.
I'm reluctant to share with many people close to me as I worry they will think I'm jumping on some kind of bandwagon. I know so many people with similar issues, people at work are off sick with it and you can read about how common it is in the media daily. Why is that the case? Was it always like this but it's just being talked about/ diagnosed now? Is it modern living? In which case why can't we as society change our lives to improve our mental health? Nothing really happened in my life to trigger it. Anyone got any insight into this?

[MajorMam]

DD and her friends (as teens) went through a phase where they would Google various mental health conditions ('Mum, I think I'm bipolar') and self diagnose or look up suicide websites writing their own very dramatic suicide notes .

The interweb has a lot to answer for although I credit it with helping me figure out I had had OCD for most of my life and to seek help for it. I grew up with no Internet, phone or social media. I was the opposite of molly coddled by my parents and escaped at 18.

My MH issues are the product of an abusive, neglectful childhood.

I read somewhere the MH of a nation can suffer for generations after a war, the fear etc, can be passed down through DNA. Genetic memories. That can also be the same for people who suffered trauma and abuse.

I definitely think it's more talked about now and so it should be. Generations before us suffered in silence without help. My own mother was on 'mummy's little helper' and it was common for housewives to smoke opium before that.

[Ermm]

Dif

[ticketytock1]

I think it's always been there, but we are talking about it more now, which is great. Also modern life is mental. Both parents working means life is so busy, we rush rush rush and try to make everyone's expectations hit. We all need to slow down a bit

[JustHope]

I feel there is so much pressure on parents now to create a wonderful life for their DC. There is pressure to make sure their DC have everything and pressure to participate in everything or we feel we are failing them somehow. We feel anxious if our DC are not having enough play dates or doing extra curricular stuff yet we don’t have the time to fit this stuff in. We are afraid to disappoint them or say no. We are afraid they will miss out.

We are bombarded with statistics and targets about their performance at school and if they are not achieving comparable to their peers its something that we must fix or they will be a failure in life.

I am pretty sure that my parents never paid half as much attention to my social life or extra curricular activities. They certainly didn’t agonise as much over every tiny detail of my education although they were involved. We are overwhelmed, over invested and stressed out.

[Jellycatspyjamas]

I think too that there's an expectation that people should always be on an even keel, so if they aren't there must be something wrong. Very often when someone has anxiety or depression something has happened to make them feel that way, a bereavement or loss, job changes, financial pressures, relationship issues, family circumstances changing all create their own stress.

I regenerate working with someone who was really struggling with depression - turned out her husband had died 6 months previously and she felt she should be able to move on by now - there's so much pressure to be resilient and to bounce back from adversity that if we can't do it quickly enough we think there's something wrong.

[PinkCrystal]

I think it is modern life too. Especially capitalism and materialism. Lack of community and competition/individualism rather than communal living.

[Whinesalot]

I think all the pressure of constant assessment at school and work. The pressure to succeeded in a career rather just going to work. Keeping up with the Jones's. Materialism. Constant horrendous news 24/7. Lack of community spirit. Not being content with what you have and wanting more, be that financial or emotional. Life being too fast paced and not balanced enough.

And gaming and social media for today's kids.

[Gingernaut]

Sorry, posted too soon.

Apparently, I'm a text book case of late diagnosis.

[Gingernaut]

I was diagnosed with and started treatment for depression about 17 years ago.

When I tried to explain that I had trouble with constant, racing thoughts, I was told that depression often went hand in hand with anxiety and was given advice on relaxation, mindfulness and calming techniques.

I was diagnosed with ADHD-PI this year.

[phoenix1973]

I struggle with anxiety and intrusive thought. What helps control that is running numerous times each week and being aware of the good things I've got in life.
Health. Home. Family. Friends. My contract has been extended by 3 months so not so terrified about money. Food in the cupboard. My cat sitting on my lap. Heating (not all day though, that's what blankets and onesies are for). Freedom (for now).
I'm overweight and on a bad day, I'm scared to leave the house and hate large groups of people and being stuck in traffic. It's that trapped feeling that I can't handle. But I force myself to.
Definitely feel better with minimal social media. I don't watch the news or listen to it. My partner is a news hound and I leave the room when he's watching the news.
I find the hardest part of modern life is that screens are killing social interaction and I feel more like an annoyance or interruption rather than a person.
People walk the streets glued to the phone, avoiding them is a challenge as the don't look where they are going. At the pub, they're all staring at Facebook, checking in and saying who with. Who cares? Your mates are right next to you so put phones down and chat, have a laugh.

Fear of pension shortfalls, benefit axing (not on them yet, never know about the future), worry about kids future, will there be any jobs left for me or them, nhs- will we get help or just be left to die? Poor air quality, the destruction of the sea, rampant greed and consumerism.

Extremist groups and their actions.

But while I'm still alive I just crack on and force down the lid on my box of terrors. What else can I do? I'm perfectly aware of my impotence wrt any of these massive social issues.

[VelvetSpoon]

I think modern life is the main reason. On the up side, mental health is handled much better than a hundred years ago when anyone with even relatively mild mh problems would have been institutionalised.

I remember my dad when he was in his 70s telling me about his grandfather, who was born in about 1860. He worked on farms all his life, well into his 60s. Walked 4 miles to work and back every day. Had little money. No car. Never went on holiday. Had a pipe, one of his few indulgences. But was utterly content. My dad said he'd never met someone as happy with their life as his grandfather was. I guess because at a basic level his needs were met.

Whereas now we're encouraged to aspire. On one level that's great. Social mobility etc. But on the other people end up feeling they're missing out. Not making the most of everything. Social media now makes us all so competitive. Whose Xmas tree looks the best...who thinks up the funniest elf on a shelf ideas...who's having the best time. I think life was easier, and less stressful when we knew less about what everyone else was doing.

[JapaneseTea]

Also bear in mind that people versus social media and various app isn’t a fair fight.

There are companies of scientists who specialise in making games // more additive to your brain, firing up chemical reactions you have no control over. Especially if you are 8! So it’s all very week to say ‘just put it down’ but it’s designed not to be that easy.

[JapaneseTea]

As a family we restrict most types of media in the house. No tv for years, no magazines, no newspapers, a bit of social media but not much. Listen to radio 3 for the news.

I prioritise my sleep, and exercise. If you don’t watch Tv you have loads of time!

What has not been mentioned here is boundaries. I notice the people I know with anxiety issues aren’t very good at boundaries. They over commit, hang out with toxic people and stress as there is always ‘too much’ to do. Is it a feedback loop between social media usage and inability to say ‘no’ ?

[Triplesalchow]

So much here to think about and things to have a look at. Lots of things ringing true about stuff that helps like outdoor spaces, exercise, good diet. Also things I need to look at more like, simplifying my life and not getting sucked in to feeling like I need to be doing it all. I don't actually have a lot of the stressors which may lead to anxiety like poverty and isolation from family but I think probably genetics and high expectations growing up and poor career choices have a part to play for me. Agree the constant stress of day to day life doesn't help. to anyone struggling with anxiety or depression just now.

[dimsum123]

Gwen, totally agree. Involuntary unemployment is definitely a huge contributor to my depression and anxiety.

[Degustibusnonestdisputandem1]

The lack of community is a huge thing. I come from a small rural part of Oz and really miss it. People looking out for each other (one example, when my parents had a huge fire sweep the farm, in the aftermath they had a generator lent to them (power was out for over a week), casseroles aplenty delivered - people really care.

[grimeofthecentury]

Social media, comparison is the thief of joy
Parenting as a "career", not just bringing up kids how you see fit, there's books and courses and all sorts of labels now
Competitive busy-ness, no one is allowed to just have a "not done much this week" or "little Suzie doesn't fancy swimming this term"
Ridiculous expectations from workplaces, presenteeism, hideously long commutes
Everyone is always tired
Everything is an event - Christmas is weeks long, everything costs so much
No offence intended but kids aren't often satisfied with simple things. A trip to the shop with 20p for a Freddo is not exciting. A walk on a Saturday with a picnic is not enough, you have to do a nature trail and get an ice cream, and it will be boring still. Not all kids mind, and it's not their fault, but their brains need constant stimulation and parents don't get a break
Leading from the above - less and less family involvement due to changing lifestyles and moving for work, living away from family etc, it's not natural IMO, there are SO MANY isolated people nowadays



All the above contribute to low self esteem and crippling self doubt about everything you do, little rest and exhaustion take their toll and life becomes too much, I believe anxiety often is a fight or flight response when things become overwhelming, as it often improves when people change things, slow down or do mindfulness, alone time etc

[Gwenhwyfar]

Pink - being out of work can cause anxiety/depression too so I think idleness is even worse than being too busy for some people.

[Pinkpowerofthought]

Well for me it's the pace of life.

Get up shattered for work when you just need more sleep
Go to a job that makes you even more tired.

Even though you work things like car or washing machine dies and eats up your money
Come home to then do chores or look after the kids, not enough down time or quality time with loved ones.
Then rinse wash repeat.
It's stressful .
Because of the pace of daily life it's hard to stay healthy too. Avoid alcohol, avoid convienence food takeaways. No time for exercise. It all adds up.

[coldhead]

Back on topic, agree with Auldspinster that a generation or two ago large numbers of mothers would have been given tranquillisers to cope with it; there's a reason they were called 'mother's little helper'.

And men were more likely to drink to cope heavily with it.

In some ways, class and educational expectations changing have increased rates of depression and anxiety, I think, because they have increased expectations without really improving lives. So a generation ago, the average young person might leave school at sixteen and not dream of going to university, but could still end up with a job that earned enough for them to buy a house, bring up a family, get a pension and have a reasonable quality of life and some security. And their mates would be living similar lives.

Now, the same person would be much more likely to go to university, where they'd mix with people from a broader range of backgrounds, and would be expected to have a higher paying job and more material success. But because times have changed, they'd leave university with tens of thousands of pounds worth of debt their parents never faced, will have only a fifty percent chance of getting a graduate level job and that is unlikely to be secure, haven't got a cat in hell's chance of affording a property in large parts of the country (most of the parts with a choice of jobs) and can only afford to have kids by building up debt. Then they face having no pension. But all their mates are not in the same boat; the friends they met at university from rich backgrounds will have been gifted deposits or even properties outright, eased into jobs etc. So not only are their lives harder than their parents but they feel worse off than some of their contemporaries too. With social media to highlight this in full technicolour.

So give them (and yourself) a break.

It's not depression if it's a logical reaction to tough times. It's OK to feel sad or frustrated about that.

[Vitalogy]

Sounds really unlikely, Vitalogy. Well there's a negative vibe to start with!

I can personally recommend Eckhart Tolle, helped me on the path to a more positive life. Don't knock it if you ain't tried it.

[AccidentallyRunToWindsor]

I sometimes wonder if it's because it's more acceptable now to come out and say you have stress and anxiety? There's a long way to go to end the stigma but I doubt it's something people would have mentioned it 30 years ago for fear of being labelled as 'crazy' or whatever.
So the levels of people suffering may be the same, but our awareness is greater.

[coldhead]

Sorry, OP, off topic.

Not likely to have cheered you up, I'm afraid.

[coldhead]

MeMeMe, put in the Amazon url to read the full details. I think it refers to how many reviews are likely to be fake. Obviously, not all will be.

I discovered this recently after being very disappointed with a book I bought that had amazing reviews, none of which had thought to mention it was the worst quality self published book I'd ever seen. Lo and behold, fakespot gave its reviews an F rating!

Have learnt my lesson now. It's too easy to pay others to write good ratings, or automate them.

I remember coming across an advert on a freelance jobs website looking for someone to write 10 fake Amazon reviews AND 10 fake Mumsnet reviews (ie not reviews as such, but product placements eg dropping it into threads randomly). I was reminded of that here...

[Auldspinster]

I don't think it's anything new - I'm in my early 40s and can remember stories in the 80s about widespread tranquiliser addiction amongst housewives, prescribed for their 'nerves'.

Perhaps there's less of a stigma attached to discussing mental health issues.

Neurosis has ceased to be a widely used term but is essentially what's being referred to on this thread. Semantics have a lot to do with the perceived changes.