... to ask you for your non-cliche presents for the (very) elderly

[rightsaidfrederickII]

Let's be honest. They've had a lot of Christmases and they've been considered old for about the last 15/20 of them, and all the classic old person presents have been done to death so many times they never want to see a set of smellies or pot plant again.

The following are officially off the list:
Calendars
Nice toiletries
Flowers
Chocolates / other sweet things
Long books (the concentration isn't there anyway)
Tech which contains more than 3 buttons (more trouble than it's worth to teach them how to use it and have them forget by Boxing Day, and again the day after that)
Shite made by the kids
Pot plants
Alcohol (half a glass and someone will fall over and break their hip)
Jigsaws and other puzzles
Hat / glove / scarf sets

What has everyone else come up with? Previous successes of mine for someone nearer 100 than 90 but still independent include

• 'One cup' kettle that dispenses a cup of hot water at time and means she doesn't have to lift the kettle any more www.argos.co.uk/product/1219292 (11 months on and she's still saying how good it is!!)
  
• Coffee table books of her favourite animal species and - for the people watcher in her - Humans of New York Stories www.amazon.co.uk/Humans-New-York-Brandon-Stanton/dp/1447295552?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21
  
• A 'meet the animals' experience at the local zoo where she got to go into the enclosure and feed them (wheelchair friendly, hurrah!)
  

Anyone else had any inspired ideas?

[ZaZathecat]

I make my very elderly MIL a good old fashioned Dundee cake every year. She loves it because she has all the jumpers, gloves, photos etc she'll ever need x100, she enjoys the cake and she knows it's made with love.

[Breadwithgarlicon]

A manicure.

[Rainatnight]

Great thread, thanks. Am making a list for my elderly MIL

[Spikeyball]

Kindle
Theatre/cinema/ afternoon tea
Photo calendar
Nice food from m and s, Booths etc

[grannytomine]

I'm not quite that old but I keep dropping hints for no more plants, every windowsill is full and I dread holidays and trying to sort out watering for them. I don't bother with DVDs, CDs or coffee table books. I do like photos of the GC but again running out of walls and when you are presented with a lovely photo in a frame you can't just put it in a drawer. I hate the Afternoon Tea for Two vouchers. I went to a very posh hotel yesterday to use the last one from last Christmas before it ran out. It looked lovely but I didn't like the tea, OK I'm common and would have preferred PG, and the tea is never hot enough for me, I think I have asbestos lips and I like my tea very hot. The finger sandwiches were nice but two elderly people can't eat 4 scones with cream and jam, 2 cheese cakes, 2 roulades, 2 little cakes and a creamy dessert in a glass. Cream makes me feel ill so we left more than we managed to eat, I think the voucher cost £50 and I couldn't help thinking what a waste of money not to mention the journey and yes the view was lovely but my husband is disabled and it wasn't easy to get him up the slope from the car park or the flight of steps to the main entrance. I don't like boxes of chocolates as I don't like more than I like.

What do I like? Time would be nice, an offer to come and help me sort out the garage, husband is a hoarder, or to do some work in the garden come spring or maybe pay a gardener for a couple of hours. My very favourite present is an Amazon gift voucher, I have a serious reading habit and I sometimes (just sometimes) feel guilty about how much I spend on books but if it is sitting in my account from gift cards there is no guilt.

My main point is we are all so different and I know people who would love the things I hate. My best advice? Ask her.

[grannytomine]

Just to add if you asked my kids they would say I love the plants as the house is full of lovely healthy plants (that are the bane of my life.) The afternoon tea always goes down well, because I lie and say I loved it.

I wonder why my kids say I'm hard to buy for. Just listen, get me an Amazon voucher.

[FluffyWhiteTowels]

Some brilliant ideas. Thanks really helpful.

[FluffyWhiteTowels]

I bought a murder mystery train ride on old steam train included meal. That went down well one year

[georgedawes]

soup maker?

[Fantasticmissfoxy]

We've bought DH's grandmother (mid nineties) a heated faux fur throw blanket. They're fab for sitting when it's a bit chilly and she can have it just over her feet or knees. Also a little hamper of Home made foods (small portions) so some shortbread (very thin so easy to bite) some strawberry jam in a little jar, small bottle of sloe gin. I've also asked all the great grandkids to do a little picture on a postcard or a note for her to include. She's a lovely lady but rather hard to buy for!

[ImSoExhausted]

A photo pillow!

We got my Nanna a cushion with 4 photos of our DS's on. She absolutely adores it, and says looking at it on a bad day always makes her smile 😊
I picked two photos of her with the boys, and two where they're enjoying activities and are laughing. She has it on her couch as pride of place

[Spam88]

Most successful one we've bought was a digital photo frame. We set the timings on it so it comes on every morning and goes off when she goes to bed and her son updates the photos for her every so often.

[thornyhousewife]

Great thread - I've just ordered a window bird feeder and food for DHs Nan. I know she'll love it.

[SecretSmellies]

You can get wing walking experiences!!!

And based on this trhead, I am now looking into buying my DH one!

www.intotheblue.co.uk/flying-experiences/air-displays/wing-walking/

[SenecaFalls]

Give them time.

Another vote for this. I would often take my mother to get her hair done and a manicure (with vouchers for both), and then take her out to lunch after.

[CMOTDibbler]

My parents are a nightmare to buy for - nothing in the least complicated will get used (this includes heated throws), they don't/can't go anywhere, buy all the plants they want, and mum is very selective about what she will eat.

I have had success with:
a wrap around thermal apron thing to keep dads legs warm on his mobility scooter without being a trip hazard
Poncho for mum when the carer takes her out in the wheelchair
Sponge cake slices in a card (mum was a bit confused tbh, but dad enjoyed the slice each concept)
Andre Rieu DVDs - dad likes the music and seeing places
Really nice flannel pyjamas for mum (except then she wanted to wear them as day wear)
Childrens press the button for music books. Dementia specific, but it did give her a lot of pleasure for a bit


This year, dad is getting heated gloves for his scooter, mum is getting a wheatbag thing - though I'm still not sure on this. I got her a toy cat last year as I thought she might like it. She threw it at me

[Sleepysausage]

I always buy a selection of my grandparents favourite luxury food items. Always goes down a great and grandma says it's her favourite present every year.

[rightsaidfrederickII]

@MrGrumpy Might she accept a mobility scooter? Mine wouldn't be seen dead in a wheelchair but likes the autonomy of her mobility scooter. We have one that can be lifted into a car, but you can try them out via Shopmobility schemes (I realise we're getting back into issues of loo access here). Or from the classified ads - plenty of nearly new ones on offer at affordable prices. Mine also likes the security of Tena pants in case she does leak.

@grannytomine I tried asking her. Bloody useless! "Oh I don't know dear I don't need anything... What would you like for Christmas?" Trouble is she doesn't get out much so lacks inspiration

[SargeantAngua]

My gran has asked for artificial flowers this year. She likes having flowers around to brighten the place up but can't lift vases of water etc.

[ClarasZoo]

Digital photo frame- you load the pictures... iPod and some favourite books to listen to?

[annandale]

My mum says she was disappointed when she ordered her walking stick as she thought she'd got one with flowers on, when it was actually a plain steel medical looking one. Bingo! I'm getting her a lovely floral stick from emilyhannah.Co. UK.

[thelikelylass]

a really good DAB radio.

[tehmina23]

I used to buy my late nan (90s) long pretty necklaces that she could just put over her head rather than having to fiddle with catches.

She showed off a different one every time she went to coffee morning in her sheltered accommodation.

Also glam yet cosy nighties went down well, pretty tops from m&s to go with her trousers; anything nice & feminine.

[tehmina23]

Also nan liked anything with Tatty Teddy on it!