AIBU to not want to spend my entire Xmas day cooking?

[Honeybooboo123]

last year we had a join family Xmas and expressed this desire to my SIL. I have two DC, she has one. I stated let's make life a bit easy and buy in a few, nice , ready made bits to take the pressure off.

I shit you not, we ended up making everything from scratch. From 7am onwards. Could have cried.

This year, bigger family Xmas, with another family and mum involved, also with two DC.Already getting emails about turkeys and menus.

How to I get across that I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND ALL SODDING XMAS DAY COOKING A MEAL I THEN HAVE NO INTEREST IN EATING

?

Second time lucky?

[Christinayangstwistedsista]

Buy marks and Spencer's
Open oven
Shove everything in oven
Drink wine

[FitBitFanClub]

Why is it mostly the women doing all this work? I'm in my 50s and have never cooked a Christmas lunch. When we host, dh does it all. Last time, sil and I downed a couple of bottles of prosecco whilst he was slaving in the kitchen. At the last minute, I apparently (I say apparently as I have no memory of much) staggered into the kitchen just as he was finishing filling serving dishes and asked if he needed a hand.

But he never mentions it.

(Oh, and in my defence, I do EVERYTHING else for Christmas. Thinking, planning, buying, wrapping, decorating, cleaning, bedroom prep, stocking filling, cleaning up)

[TheFallenMadonna]

Oh, and in my defence, I do EVERYTHING else for Christmas. Thinking, planning, buying, wrapping, decorating, cleaning, bedroom prep, stocking filling, cleaning up

Why is it mostly women doing all this work?

[MytToeHurtsBetty]

A further vote fir Cook here! Bloody marvellous last year and already ordered for thus year 😁🍗🥂

[PeiPeiPing]

Why not do what we do?

We have a fairly big (joint) family, and all go out to the local pub, for the set Christmas/ festive menu around 20th-22nd December, (around 15 of us.) We spend 2-3 hours together, swap presents and cards, and then spend Christmas day in our OWN HOMES. Yeah I know radical eh???

Me and DH just roll out of bed at 10-11am, watch shit tv with hot buttered toast covered in jam, then put out the nibbles at 1pm-ish and crack open a bottle of port, and sit there munching the snacks and nibbles in front of Home Alone or National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. We have a chat on the phone - or online for 20 minutes or so to immediate family (to wish each other merry Christmas,) and then just sit there stuffing mince pies and trifle and watching more shit tv.

I have had quite a number of years of being run ragged on Christmas day, trying to keep family happy, and I am not doing it anymore.

If me and DH wish to lie in til midday on Christmas day, and sit in the house stuffing crappy food and guzzling sherry til 6pm, we will.

[RaindropDreams]

I spent hardly any time with my kids on Christmas Day last year, didn’t even watch a Christmas film. This year we are doing Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve so Christmas Day can be all about spending time together as a family rather than cooking! We will have a running buffet on Christmas Day which will run throughout the afternoon and bacon barms on Christmas morning 😊

[sueelleker]

Am I the only one that uses frozen veg? (Even the roasties-can't roast a potato to save my life-they always come out soggy)All I cook from scratch is the meat.

[Dozer]

If “neutral territory” means self catering, I sympathise. Have done many a self catering christmas and it’s shit for the chefs IME, especially if the rental is poorly equipped.

Take a stand against the men not sharing the festive cooking and domestics.

SIL and I refused to do self catering christmas again after one too many times doing it all.

[rookiemere]

sueellekeller - I do everything from frozen too, apart from the sprouts, frozen sprouts cooked are vile.
I've made fresh roasties in the past and IMHO the marginal taste superiority against Aunt Bessies was not worth the faff.

To be totally honest all this parcelling out chores and getting people to bring things seems much more exhausting than just buying it in premade and bunging in the oven/ microwave, plus as cook I'm obviously exempt from tidy up so get to go for a nice long walk afterwards.

Anyone making cats bum faces about packaged goods would be pointed in the direction of those households on mumsnet where they have "plated nibbles" , lasagne, day old chinese takeaway or indeed a turkey dinner cooked the day before and plated up and microwaved on the day. Then they'd be grateful for my meal !

[BzyB]

Last year almost all of us had been unwell in the lead up and we ended up with turkey in a curry sauce made from a powder mix, and microwave rice. Then a long nap!

I wouldn't mind doing the same this year - maybe with a nicer sauce ;) - but parents are horrified. I'd rather just spend the time with my kids!

[BzyB]

Meant to say - m&s sounds like a great compromise.

[Notreallyarsed]

sueelleker I do tinned peas and carrots (MIL did it when DP and BIL were wee and it’s continuing her tradition) but everything else from scratch. Apart from the Yule log.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

”Why is it mostly the women doing all this work?”

@FitBitFanClub - I can’t answer for every woman, but I know that, for me at least, it is partially pride and partly wanting things done my way - I know that dh could make a perfectly good Christmas dinner - he does very good roasts - but I want to be the one getting the plaudits for Christmas dinner, and whilst he would make all the right things, they wouldn’t be exactly the way I do them, and that would bother me.

And as I have, over the years, got things organised so that it really isn’t a huge amount of work for me, I will hang onto the Christmas cooking.

I would happily hand over the present buying, though. It does bug me that I am the one who has to think of what to get for whom - especially the stocking presents (we still do them for the boys, even though they are 20, 22 and 24) - no matter how much I ask dh to offer ideas. I’m not sure what to do about that - unless I am willing to risk a Christmas where no-one gets presents, and I’m not.

[nooka]

I really enjoy Christmas cooking. We don't often have roasts so the prep and cooking are part of the celebration for me. Usually I do all the pre-prep and dh does everything on the day (kids coopted as needed). I wouldn't personally like to have shop bought sides etc, but make a lot of things in advance (eg I've already made cauliflower cheese and will do red cabbage and cranberry sauce too). We don't go over board with veggies, I can't see the point of having 12 and I like to make sure there isn't too much going on at the last minute.

[ZanyMobster]

I just can't imagine doing this. Why ruin the day by cooking most of it. We cook the turkey crown the day before. Buy pre prepared fresh veg, frozen parsnips (Yes yes I know), jar of cranberry sauce. Takes an hour tops and that's only because it takes longer than normal to cook due to the volume of it. Just seems so pointless.

I don't really understand why you can't say anything. Surely no one really wants to spend 7 hours cooking on Xmas day?

[Orangeplastic]

I don't know what else we'd do on Christmas Day if we didn't cook - I'd be bored! We get up and have a cooked breakfast, walk to the pub with the dog, come home and have a nap, then get up and make dinner - roast rib of beef doesn't take too long - everyone helps, while we play cheesy music - I'd rather not have M&S food, especially on Xmas Day and the one and only time I have eaten out has been soulless and very expensive.

[Clitoria]

What a pile of wank. Just eat some chips, who cares.
Everyone in the country all eating the same food on the same day is such a weird thing.

[YouTheCat]

SDTG, I still do a stocking for ds and dd and they're 22. I do themed ones, so this year dd's will be 'sushi' - I've got her a sushi making kit, a book about it and I'll get a few bits of non-perishable ingredients. Last year it was 'Tea' - so loose green teas and a special flask etc.

I really enjoy making Christmas dinner whilst drinking lots of sherry . But I don't make it hard for myself. I prepare as much as possible in advance. Once I'm on my third sherry I no longer care anyway.

[Mum2jenny]

I must be unusual in that I love cooking full stop, and Christmas is just another meal. What I do hate is having to stand in queues in supermarkets buying the food to cook as it just seems like so much mayhem!

[Council]

I don't understand the drama over Christmas Dinner. it's one meals it's not that hard. I admit the year i did it for 23 was challenging but that was mostly working out how everything was going to fit in the oven/round the table. For a dozen or so why the fuss? Yes, you need to start early but you really don't need to be in the kitchen all day.

My top tip is a prep party on Christmas Eve. Everyone who'll be there on the day comes armed with their peelers. You have all the generations sat round the kitchen table with free flowing wine and chocolate and have the kind of conversations you only have when eyes and hands are busy. It's the highlight of my Christmas You can get things like stuffing, bread sauce and pigs in blankets done then too.

[TheABC]

Judging by this thread, I am clearly doing it wrong. DH is cooking Christmas dinner (TBF, he is bloody good at a roast), while it is my duty to get the in laws drunk and keep the kids out of the fridge.

[sueelleker]

One of the gift catalogue companies does a 'chocolate sushi' box.

[MyRelationshipIsWeird]

We have pasta bake, my DCs' favourite! They hate roast so no way am I slaving over a hot oven for 5 hours to make a meal nobody wants. I'll have it on a different day, or made by someone else no problem!

[Scabbersley]

I would happily hand over the present buying, though

Yes god yes