help needed on fair financial settlement, is this fair?

[Confusedmummy2017]

Hi,
I really hope someone replies as i desperately need to sort this out!

So form e under way voluntarily, ex earns £56000 i earn £20000, i work part time. Have 3 kids (1 together, 1 of mine has a disability, can't increase hours at work due to care of kids)

He has savings not sure of the actual amount yet. His pension worth £47000, mine worth £20000.

I have debts total £16000, due to him being financially abusive and me ending up using credit in my name only throughout the marriage, on pertol, food, christmas, birthdays, car maintenance, etc.

He has said a 60/40 split of equity in house with nothing else 60 to me, equity in house around £110000.

My proposed proposal to him that i would love some views on;

1, 70/30 split in my favour, owing him £33000, when our son leaves fulltime education.

2, child maintenance would be around £300 on his salary, but having worked out my income and outgoings my shortfall is a total £450. I was going to ask for a total of £450 child maintenance/spousal maintenance per month for a duration of the next 7 years until our son reaches 13 so i could then increase my working hours. Then the spousal maintenance would stop and just become child maintenance.

3, I will not ask for any of his savings or pension.

4, He has a decent car he brought new a few years ago and i have an old zafira which has done 14000 miles so wont last much longer.

We have already agreed i will remain in the house and take over the mortgage which i have in principle already, i have also requested to take more out on the mortgage of £15000 to pay off the debt and am uncertain if i should request a greater percentage of the equity to cover this?

I would really appreciate any views negative or positive to help me with this. I will have to self represent in court should it come to this as i cannot afford a solicitor, his parents have already offered to pay however many of thousands he will need for court!

Thanks

[DancingLedge]

OP, I'm not seeing any of the wise MN lawyer names on here: I would strongly suggest you try report your first post and ask MN to move this to legal.Not everyone who replies there is a lawyer, but there are some great ones.

[traviata]

OP please ignore a lot of the posts on here, many of which are misinformed and just plain wrong.

This is absolutely not a 50/50 situation, and it does look very much like you will need spousal maintenance, at least for a few years.

This case would not be determined on what you both brought into the marriage, because your needs, your exH's needs, and above all your children's needs (all 3 of them) will over ride any question of 'contributions'. In any event, your contributions will be continuing for as long as any of the children of the family are dependent (not just those to whom ex is the father)

It is essential that you get RL advice from a solicitor.

[Hotheadwheresthecoldbath]

You need a solicitor as you were married for only 6 years.The debts would be joint if gained through the marriage,house 50:50 .His savings and pension you would have some claim on but really only what has accrued before marriage.
I know it is all rubbish but you do need a solicitor.

[DailyMailReadersAreThick]

I know you can't afford representation in court, but I don't think you can afford to represent yourself. I would do whatever I needed to get myself a good solicitor who specialises in this kind of thing - representing yourself is a real false economy.

[PeppersTheCat]

The debts would be joint if gained through the marriage

Source?

Also, what if one party was unaware of them due to financial abuse?

[heidiwine]

No random person on the internet can give you advice on the fairness (or not) of a financial settlement. A lawyer will be able to advise you on what you can reasonably expect to receive so go and see one. You've got quite a bit of debt already - what's an extra grand going to add provides it gets you a reasonable perspective based on law not opinion.

[ChocolateDoll]

Amazed so many people have suggested 50/50.

Distance lack of knowledge, there.

OP - you are not getting experienced or qualified advice on this thread. Please do try the legal boards. You'll get less posts, but of a rather higher quality than some of the nonsense quoted on here 👍🏻

[Tinkerbec]

Have you tried the wikivorce site?

Loads of information on there

[Be3Al2Si6O18]

1. You need to find out his savings before committing to a deal.
   

1. Get the debt paid off asap. It needs to be taken into account in the settlement as coming out of the pot before the split, irrespective of his level of savings.

[Osolea]

The OP asked for views, positive or nagative on what people though was a fair settlement. What lawyers advise and what courts grant isn't always fair, or morally right, so it's not unreasonable for posters to give opinions, even if they're not in line with what OP could get if she hired a solicitor.

[LondonGirl83]

I also suggest going to the legal board as you are getting a lot of misinformation presented as fact.

I also think you need a RL solicitor and a full understanding of your husbands assets and debts

[millymollymoomoo]

A mesher order with say a 30% share to the ex will mean a 30% share of value at time of sale not present value. Sometimes it is better to try to avoid this if possible particularly if there is a long time to go.

You do need to see a solicitor

[DailyMailReadersAreThick]

Osolea So if courts don't award what's fair, how on earth is it useful for OP to canvass opinions on what is fair? Your post makes no sense.

[harshbuttrue1980]

50/50 in my opinion. I don't see why a mother of a 7 year old can't work full-time - plenty do. Its more likely to be that you are the mum of a disabled child that stops you being full-time, but the disabled child isn't the child of your second husband so he shouldn't have to pay for that. 50/50 on assets plus child support for one child. If you can't work because of a child with special needs, that's something your first husband needs to help with, not the second one.