to not babysit?

[teaandakitkat]

I have a good friend with kids similar ages to mine.

For years I have been using baby-sitters. I have 3 teenagers, well one is now 20, who babysit for us. I know all their parents, know the teenagers well, sensible people, I absolutely trust them to do the right thing if anything went wrong.

I choose to pay someone because I don't like always asking a friend, everyone has busy lives, it's just easier this way. So I've sort of decided now that I don't want to do any evening babysitting for friends either any more. I just can't be bothered. I like my own house and getting to bed early. I don't bother other people with looking after mine so I"m out of the babysitting circle faffing about.

My friend sometimes asks me to babysit. I usually say yes if I can because she's a friend. But last time she asked me I said no, but I can give you the number of my babysitter, I'm sure she will happily do it.

She said no, she would never leave her children with anyone other than a competent adult, she doesn't know how I can possibly relax when my children are with a babysitter. Now one girl who sits for me is 20 and in her final year of a law degree so I reckon she's pretty competent, she's certainly dealt with everything my kids have thrown at her.

So my friend is now offering to pay to have the incompetent babysitter look after my children so I can go round and look after hers. I have said no, sorry. But again, here is the number of the babysitter if you want it.

But this is ridiculous, right? She can sort out her own babysitting problems? I've even offered her a solution.

I suspect she's going to really take the huff if I don't do it for her, so at least I won't have to worry about it again!

[HopefulHamster]

My friends are always trying to set up babysitting circles. I never want to babysit anyone. And actually I don't want my friends chilling in my house without me. I'd rather pay someone I didn't know as well to do it!

[Madbum]

Your friend is being a twat.

[rookiemere]

YADNBU.
That's mad - I can't believe she was prepared to pay for a babysitter to not babysit her DCs .

[AnnieAnoniMouse]

Unless there was a particular and valid reason for her asking this, then no, I wouldn't be doing it.

However, I do have a friend who was abused by her babysitter, over a sustained period of time & wont leave hers with one, and so I always have her kids if they need to be left. Our circumstances mean I don't need to hire a babysitter to do this, but I would if necessary. She doesn't take the pissyeither, if anything I'm the one encouraging her to go out more! (Twunty ex did a runner with his secretary, so cliche, and hasn't bothered with their adorable kids since).

Another friend has 2yo twins with SEN, I babysit them because it's not fair on the boys or a babysitter who doesn't know them. If it was a regular thing we would find a babysitter & get her used to them, but it's OK as it is for now.

So yes, there are situations when I'd do as she asked, but if no extenuating circumstances then I'd simply say 'No, sorry, I'm busy & just want to have an early night when I get the chance. X is 20 & has babysat for me for x years. If you don't want to use her, try 'Sitters''. Rinse & repeat. If she gets the hump she's probably not worth worryingly about anyway.