Who's in the wrong?

[NicoleB67]

OH and I have been playing around with each other all night and messing about acting like 13 year olds (FYI, we are in our mid 30's LOL). I was standing next to the TV and had a hair grip in my hand that I threw at him jokingly and it hit him just below the eye which he got into a right fit about and got pissed off with me. He then proceeded to pick up the big sky remote and throw it pretty hard at my thigh in retaliation (also anger which I could see etched on his face). He is a 6 foot tall sportsman with a strong arm and it really f**king hurt and is still stinging now half an hour later and left a mark. I'm really upset with him but he seems to think I'm in the wrong for starting it by the grip thing. Who's in the wrong here? (Sorry for the school type post, I do get it comes across v immature and am prepared to be flamed )

[marble11]

It all sounds very childish to me. You both need to grow up.

[WitchesHatRim]

OPs not been back I see.

[WitchesHatRim]

You both should try acting like adults.

You are both wrong.

[Topseyt]

You both sound like a pair of bloody toddlers.

[Papafran]

Hmm. It's idiotic of you to 'play-fight' in the sense of throwing stuff at each other. However, it is worrying for him to react the way he did. You would need to think about whether there have been any other incidents where his behaviour has concerned you. If not, I suggest not throwing things at other adults. Why do you have to playfight?

[BewareOfDragons]

He was in the wrong. You were both messing around, you tossed something at him, he completely overreacted and set out to hurt you. And he's considerably bigger and stronger than you, too, and he used that.

What if you two had a DC who threw something, as children do, and hurt him, or spilled something on him ... is he going to go mental in a moment of rage on him? Because that's what he's just shown you ... and no apparent remorse for actually hurting you.

[Motoko]

I disagree, depending on what type of hair grip it could have caused some damage had it hit him in the eye

That still doesn't excuse him from throwing a remote control, even if it did hit him in the eye (which it didn't, so your point is moot).

[kali110]

Him.
Me and dp play around all the time.
Ive accidently hurt him, ( and felt awful) he would never what your dp did.
My dp could easily hurt me as he's huge, but would never.
You hurt him by accident, your dp hurt you in anger.

[MummyMuppet2x2]

This A hair grip is so light, she probably didn't think it would even hit him.

He took revenge, as a PP said, he should have just said "Ow, that hurt" and she would've said sorry. Instead he lobbed a heavy, hard object, with force at her. He is in the wrong, not OP.

It seems so obvious who is in the wrong here.

[PandorasXbox]

I disagree, depending on what type of hair grip it could have caused some damage had it hit him in the eye.

[Motoko]

But had the OP had a book, remote control, mug etc in her hand that most likely would have been lobbed his way

That's unlikely. A hair grip is so light, she probably didn't think it would even hit him.

He took revenge, as a PP said, he should have just said "Ow, that hurt" and she would've said sorry. Instead he lobbed a heavy, hard object, with force at her. He is in the wrong, not OP.

[RhiWrites]

This has to be the end of messing about and horseplay for the two of you. What happens if you swat at him in play and it hurts him? Will he punch you in the face?

Set a boundary here and watch out for anything else that looks like retaliating or sudden responses in anger. It's unwise to throw things at people except for sports, but it's a red flag to throw deliberately intending to hurt.

[llangennith]

You both need to grow up.

[Maddiemademe]

Good old mumsnet. It was a hairgrip for goodness sake.

Op, that was inexcusable of him and I would be rethinking continuing something with someone who resorts to a violent act. Can't believe how many are excusing him.

[Cupoteap]

You need your heads banging together, now children I need to get on

[SonicBoomBoom]

Both of you.

[PandorasXbox]

Yet you can’t see the difference between someone throwing a grip at someone’s face and the fact it could have hit him in the eye and somehow have this down as horseplay

[tippz]

Of course I don't think it was OK that she chucked the grip, but it was horseplay that went a bit far. She didn't mean to hurt him, that is obvious. But he deliberately went out to hurt her. And he DID.

If you cannot see the difference, then I pity you.

[PandorasXbox]

I don’t think it was ok that he hurt her. Obviously.

Do you think it was ok that she threw a grip at his eye?

[tippz]

He should have said 'ow that hurt, don't chuck shit!' Not deliberately hurt her back like a nasty vengeful child.

[tippz]

They were messing about FFS!

It disturbs me greatly to think some people on here think it's OK for him to hurt her back. What a horrible way to think.

You actually think that's OK?!

Get a (hair) grip!

[PandorasXbox]

Accidentally? It wasn’t an accident fgs.

[PandorasXbox]

Purposely causing you pain to prove a point; that if you hurt him, he will fucking well hurt you back.

So you think it’s ok that the OP threw the hairgrip?

[tippz]

I would like to rephrase my third paragraph...

Of course YANBU and your boyfriend is acting like a cunt. Purposely causing you pain to prove a point; that if you hurt him, even accidentally! he will fucking well hurt you back.