Is my relationship really that strange with my family?

[Generallyok]

I live in the same street as my parents. I'm really close to my mum and always have been. I am blessed that my husband gets on really well with my parents too and has always been happy for them to come around for a meal once a week, share holidays together and generally be a big part of our lives. They are amazing grandparents and my children love them dearly. Recently other people including family said that they think it is odd to be so involved in each other's lives. Does anyone else live like this or am I odd not to have a more distant relationship with my family?

[CPtart]

SIL, BIL and my nephews live next door to PIL. Great when the boys were younger and they had free childcare on tap. They too, loved them dearly. Not so now my nephews are teens and want to break free a little. PIL are becoming an increasing irritation as they still expect to trail round everywhere as a group of 6 and feel their previous "help" entitles them to both an opinion on everything and a certain degree of "payback". Completely over involved IMO.
It's not a relationship I would want.

[Notreallyarsed]

My family don’t live in the same street, but my parents were in and out of our house all the time (Mum died in June, so it’s just Dad now) and DPs brother is in and out too, we’re all very close. We used to go on holiday with my parents too. I’m glad we had that closeness, I miss my Mum so very much, but I’m glad we spent all that time together.

[Lottapianos]

Thanks Ivy. It's very sad indeed. I have grieved intensely for my parents even though they're still living. My MIL is the same - furious with her son for growing up and moving away and leading his own life. It's absolutely suffocating.

Mummy, yes I think we have spoken on here before about our similar situation. It's nice to talk to someone who understands. So many people don't get it and it can be so lonely

[ElizabethDarcey]

I'm so so so jealous. We have nobody nearby and it's so hard being alone and doing everything alone. Friends are nice but they're only friends. I miss my mum and I get to see her once a year if I'm lucky.

[pinkhorse]

I used to be like this. I realised it was holding me back so things had to change

[letsdolunch321]

As long as you and your family are happy .... Let others think what they want to

[ThorsMistress]

We don't live in the same street but I live a 5 minute drive from my sister and a 5 minute drive from my mum. I speak to my mum on the phone every day at least twice and I ring my sister every morning and a few messages during the day.

My DS and nieces all love each other and are so so close.

We go on a family holiday every year, mum her DP, my sister, her DH and 3 kids, me, my DP and DS. We love it!

[DiegoMadonna]

However - I am truly hoping that I'm doing a better job with my own DC

You make a good point here, Gumbo. Many people don't want that kind of closeness and contact with their parents, but at the same time they themselves are parents who would love their children to live close by and see them often when they grow up. It's kind of sad isn't it? Most parents must hope for that when their kids are young, so what goes wrong? :( I hope my kids always live within 5 minutes of me :D (selfishly lol)

[Golondrina]

I think it's lovely if everyone is happy. I have a mother like lotta and mummy. We haven't spoken for 3 years and it's much better for all concerned.

[notafish]

It wouldn't work for me. I am very close to my mum and would love her to live nearer me but my dad would drive me mad. I know people whose lives are interwoven deeply with their parents and I don't see anything odd about it. It's lovely to have that inter-generational connection and support network. It's probably very common in certain parts of the country where there is less mobility for jobs and careers.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Thanks Mittens. Im also NC with my not so d b. I'm really sorry you've been through a shit time as well. The only consolation is that we got out. And that makes us better people and better parents and us the lucky ones.

[Gumbo]

I do think being that close to your family is strange - but only because it's something I've never experienced so find the whole idea bemusing. I moved to the opposite side of the world to get away from my family, and I'm still not convinced I've gone far enough! The thought of living in the same street as them would make me wish to set fire to myself...

However - I am truly hoping that I'm doing a better job with my own DC - and while living in the same street one day may be somewhat extreme I'd be very happy with the same town

[BillBrysonsBeard]

It's lovely that it works for you all, sod what anyone else thinks. Me and DP like our privacy though so I like being able to visit my mum or PILs once a week and that's it.

[sarebear1983]

I live next door to my MIL and in the next street to my mum. We bought through a private sale as we were struggling to buy anything else in our price range. We knew we wanted to live close by but not that close by haha and we were abit worried at the time. But we absolutely love it. We're always in each others houses etc.
And now we have our 6 month old DS, I just love that they can see him everyday. Especially as FIL is 90 and he just adores him. I love that we're making these memories

[Mittens1969]

I'm so sorry, Mummyoflittledragon, and you're right, in the end you have to take care of your own mental health so you can be a good mum yourself. It's why I no longer have anything to do with my DB.

Sounds like you're a great mum.

[Fluffypinkpyjamas]

I do not think it is strange at all, I think it is lovely and that you are all very lucky to have such a great situation. Anyone that says/thinks it is weird, IS weird!

[bellaboo101]

I live in the next door street to my parents and sisters, when I moved out for the first time i felt to far away,

when I got pregnant and me and partner wanted to move somewhere a bit more permanent for our first purchased home I wanted to be near family, my new home feels like 'home' a feeling I haven't had for a long time. I think it's because I know every one is close!

[numbmum83]

My situation has always been similar with my parents. My ex luckily didn't mind and quite enjoyed us having a close family coz he didnt have much of one. We always waited xmas morning til they came to watch the kids open presents and sometimes they would stay Xmas eve. Every Sunday they would come round, mum would always cook , she used to buy half of our food shop and a few times in the week they would fetch the kids from school and come for tea.

Now I live back at home with them and we are really close . I'm family orientated though . My kids are too. My sister not so much so . She doesn't invite my parents over ever and we go weeks without seeing her or my Nephew.
We are different . To me it's my little family and my parents attached because they have done and do do so much for me.
I know if I ever need anything it's my parents who help me out .
Shoot me for still being attached to the apron strings ha .

[Dalphidol]

No, I'm really close to my family too. We live doors away from each other and see each other most days. My dc know they can stop into to see their gp anytime they like. Go away on holidays together too some years . I'm not the only one on my street either, my neighbours a few doors down live across from their parents and are in and out of their house every day.

[DiegoMadonna]

Maybe a bit unusual in this day and age, but definitely not strange. We are in a similar situation. What on earth could be bad or strange about extended family getting on great and spending regular time with each other??

[mirime]

Where I grew up lots of people had family living on the same street or very near by. Not odd at all!

My parents don't live so close but are over ours all the time because they look after DS while me & DH are in work. DS has a lovely close relationship with them, and they help us out a lot.

[guilty100]

I think it's unusual, in the sense of rare, infrequent these days; but not odd in the sense of strange or worrying. I think it's sometimes seen as a bit old-fashioned, partly because the demands of work have scattered so many families to the winds.

[Trills]

Even with absolutely lovely family I wouldn't want it.

[Kez100]

My sister-in-law and in-laws are like this. We aren't.

It's not odd. It's just personality.

We love them dearly but would definitely clash at times if we lived in each others pockets. Whereas for my sister-in-law/in laws their personalities are such they don't tend to.

[FleetwoodMacNCheese]

If DD were to settle a long distance from us, DH and I would happily move nearer to her. If she wanted us to, of course!