To have kicked him out

[cunningstunnt]

I went out on a date with a guy, having slept with him (to my shame) on our first date. It went well, but I made it very clear he couldn't come back to mine for practical reasons. He then got quite offended and said that he thought I was 'dumping' him. I reassured him that no, it just wasn't practical. If he wanted, he could stay on our next date on Tuesday (although I was trying to take it slow).

Anyway, he insisted on 'accompanying' me home (half an hour on public transport) and stopping at a pub on the way back. Then when we left the pub, stopping for a few cans at the shop. Obviously you can put two and two together, with the drink we've ended up having sex. Half way through I've 'come to my senses' - this isn't what I wanted, isn't what I told him etc, and I've told him to leave. He's not happy and I feel tricked into having sex.

I don't want to see him again after this. AIBU?

[PoorYorick]

I gotta say, that attitude doesn't tend to come from people who are swinging from the chandeliers....

[Damnthatonestaken]

I think astratatty might be a smidgen jealous

[PoorYorick]

Nobody is denying your right to be wrong, ash. We're just trying to do you a favour by letting you know how wrong you are before you make an arsing great to of yourself somewhere where it matters. You're welcome.

[RickOShay]

Yes astratty, of course you are allowed an opinion. But you
are judging, which is different. Perhaps look to yourself and wonder why this thread has provoked this reaction in you.
There really is nothing wrong in having sex, and if you think there is then honestly you are the one with the problem here.

[AdalindSchade]

Of course casual sex is amoral. It's morally neutral. If what you meant was immoral then no, it's really not

[carjacker1985]

He sounds manipulative and his reaction to you saying he couldn't come back with you would be enough to set alarm bells ringing with me.

You're entitled to stop sex at any point- I would not see him again.

[JacquesHammer]

Considering altering the village elders at MNHQ and asking if I can have a scarlet letter in my user name

[JacquesHammer]

amoral

Really? Consenting sex between two single adults and you're classing that as "amoral".

Careful the pearls you're clutching don't choke you

[LEMtheoriginal]

It isn't using if both parties feel the same way. Now I'm older I only want to have sex with someone I love and the thought of doing it with a random feels like too much effort but when I was young free and single......trouble is I did get used as I always wanted more

[Gottagetmoving]

Of course adults of both sexes can choose to shag who they want when they want. I wouldn't judge that the way astratty is doing but I do think it's a bit sad using people you don't even know properly l,for sex, even when both are consenting. I think people should be treated better than a convenient sex toy. It's just the way I feel about it so I find it difficult to understand...but each to their own.

[LEMtheoriginal]

Ashtratty the only person exhibiting disgusting behaviour on this thread is you. I bet you're a fucking delight In RL

[Regradequery]

Amoral? Wtf!

[Oswin]

Amoral? Alright then you weirdo.

[astratty76666]

It doesn't make me look half as much of a dick as people who drop their knickers for strangers.

Here's a thought: if you don't want people commenting or having an opnion on amoral behaviour, perhaps don't boast about it on the internet for all to see.

[Oswin]

Aye your right you have every right to an opinion.
Just like I've a right to think spouting that opinion makes you look like a dick.

[astratty76666]

I have every right to an opinion, thanks.

[RickOShay]

astratty, no woman is slut.. Her body is hers to do with as she pleases. You have no right to pass judgement on other people's sex lives, absolutely no right at all.

[TheBusThatCouldntSlowDown]

Urgh @ astratty76666 Spouting your mad eyed, mouth frothing misogyny on this thread, where the OP is clearly upset by being pressured into sex, is horribly distasteful. Go away with your judgemental self.

cunning Don't let people walk all over you. You count too! You are your only advocate so help yourself out and don't let people treat you like shit. As you enforce your personal boundaries you'll get happier and more confident. Self esteem and strong boundaries go hand in hand.

You don't owe anybody anything and please don't let guilt drive your behaviour. Maybe you felt guilty that he'd come all that way on the bus, or that you'd feel like a bitch leaving him outside to wait for his taxi. Well screw that guy! He's a pestering creep. I hope you can see that and know that you did nothing wrong. Also please don't see him again, anyone who has to wear down a woman so she'll have sex with him is not worth knowing.

[astratty76666]

Nothing to do with patriarchy. I think men who do it are pretty vile too.

[User7o873]

End of? Well, I'm glad that's settled. I thought that the reason women who enjoy casual sex can 'get a reputation' is because we still live in an essentially patriarchal world where women's sexuality is seen by insecure men as something that must be controlled (in the same way that a few hundred years ago women who were seen as being a bit too independent were accused of being witches and burnt alive), but clearly you know better.
Why do you think sleeping with people you don't know particularly well is cheap, slutty and revolting?

[User7o873]

God, Jacques, didn't you know sex should only be between a husband and wife, for the procreation of children, with the lights off, and you should be thinking of England as it happens? It's not meant to be fun, dammit.

[JacquesHammer]

Good for you. Here's your medal for shagging strangers. Congratulations.

Revolting behaviour

😂 Aren't you utterly pathetic. You poor love.

[astratty76666]

Good for you. Here's your medal for shagging strangers. Congratulations.

Revolting behaviour.