MIL wants to sell my baby

[TheExtraPickle]

Apologies for clickbaity title. But now I have your attention...

I'm a paramedic. Several times in the last couple of months I have heard a parent say to their child some variation of "Behave or that ambulance lady will be cross/tell you off/take you away".

Don't. Do. That.

Don't make your child afraid of us.

Don't make them so afraid that when I try to examine their broken arm they scream and squirm and do more damage.

Don't make them afraid to call 999 and ask for help.

Don't make them afraid to approach us if they are lost in public.

Don't make them too afraid to open the front door when you've fallen down the stairs and are unconscious.

I've also heard "the police will come and arrest you if you don't stop". Also not a good message.

Teach your children that the emergency services are here to help and are friendly and trustworthy. You never know when you might need us. Don't use me to discipline or calm your child because the first thing I will do is turn around with a big smile and tell that child it isn't the case.

This has been a public service announcement from TheExtraPickle. (Who's MIL is lovely and in no way involved in child trading)

[WaxOnFeckOff]

I've seen kids drop crisp and sweet wrappers as they are leaving the playground becasue it's the janitors job to clear it up!

Then they started getting one class to be responsible for clearing up litter after breaks and lunch to which I was really annoyed given that my child was missing his break a couple of times a week to clear up after lazy arses who should be taught to put the litter in the bin or their pocket the same as I'd managed to teach my children from when they were big enough to crawl to the bin. It's really not hard is it?

Cinema is the same, obviously small children eating in the dark might result in the odd bit of popcorn being dropped and the ocassional bigger accident, but in the main it's easy enough just to gather up your rubbish and drop it into the bin on the way out the theatre. Sometimes you look along the rows and you'd think there had been a riot.

What's wrong with having a bit of respect for people (and yourself) and just clearing up after yourself?

[AFlibbertigibbet]

Respect seems to be something which is lacking in a lot of society today, if we had a bit more respect for paramedics, police, nurses, anyone who works in a public service job really, then the world would be a better place.

And as far as baby selling goes, you made that Baby, if it's going to be sold anywhere Etsy would seem to be appropriate!

[BoysofMelody]

Respect seems to be something which is lacking in a lot of society today, if we had a bit more respect for paramedics, police, nurses, anyone who works in a public service job really, then the world would be a better place.

By the same token, respect needs to be earned, not just because they put on a uniform. Certain elements in the police have abused their position of trust and I for one don't respectall police officers or nurses - like any job, most are okay, but some go above and beyond and some arel lazy/crap/corrupt.

[WaxOnFeckOff]

I tend to start from a position of giving respect and then would remove that given cause. It's hard to decide on one brief encounter whether that person deserves it or not. Just be respectful in the first place of everyones role in society as a human being first and foremost and if people abuse that respect then treat accordingly.

[SpareChangeDownTheSofa]

BoysofMelody I don't think anyone needs to earn a please or thank you

[Catinabeanbag]

I'm sure we used to have a schools liaison officer (police) when I was at junior school in the 80s. I distinctly remember a policeman/woman coming in from time to time and talking to us; it was good way to reinforce the message that police are there to help. I was always told that if I got lost, to find someone in a police / ambo uniform or a shop worker.

Last Christmas I was out and about in town with a friend and her son, who is a big fan of policemen. He shyly approached an officer at a busy station, got a high five and the officer posed for a photo with the child. There's definitely no need for kids to be scared of emergency services staff - I think they should be brought up to know that they can help you if you're in trouble, but you should also do what they ask.

[Shezza71]

I was in the children's area of the restaurant of our gym with a friend and the little ones we look after. A mum who couldn't control her her child actually went and got the restaurant manager and got her to tell the child she would have to leave if she didn't sit down and eat nicely. Gobsmacked to sat the least

[seriouslynoidea]

There is a happy medium, all my DCs have grown up to call out "Good Luck Ambulance/Fire engine/Police" as they go past with sirens going, they get cross if I don't notice, if the siren is not on its "good luck just in case". However if my DD refuses to put her seatbelt on properly I tell her it is dangerous and if that doesnt work, illegal and the police will stop us and get us in trouble, not bad parenting, a fact. If one of my DC has been kicking up a storm in a public place drawing hideous looks from all around, on an airplane, anywhere really I have been heard to say "look at that lady/man, she cant believe how badly you are behaving, looks like she's getting pretty cross right now so watch out" Again just factual, they need to understand that their behaviour has external consequences too.

[flowergrrl77]

Not read all the comments, but yay!!

My now 15 year old (s/n) son has grown up being told regularly to SEEK police if worried/lost/anything!

He'd hear ppl say things like behave or the police will take you away and lock you up. So I'd go and take him to the patrolling PCSO and just have a chat, tell him that the only reason the police ever lock people up is to keep us safe. They don't WANT to lock anyone up, their job is to keep people safe and help us.

I'm glad I drummed that into him, as he grows into a vulnerable adult, should something happen I want to know that he'd seek someone safe to aid him.

[BoysofMelody]

BoysofMelody I don't think anyone needs to earn a please or thank you

True but, I didn't say that though did I? I don't think Police or anyone in a uniform should be treated with unquestioned deference simply because of the job they do. I am polite and accomodating to people in real life as a a matter of course until they give me cause not to be. If they start an interaction by belittling (as a surgeon was to me once) or being hostile and aggressive and making the law up as they went along (so basically an idiot or a bully) as a Policeman tried once when i was on my bike, I will respond, if not in kind then I will speak my mind and stand my ground. I realise that thanks to being both white, articulate and middle class, this isn't going to end with me getting a kicking, which wouldn't perhaps be the case if I were black and two decades younger.

[kw1091]

Just to add please don't say "work hard or you'll have to work in a pub too" in front of me to your children when I'm taking your lunch order. I'm also a trainee midwife and have worked really bloody hard.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Further to kw's post.

Just don't say such a belittling thing, level of education is irrelevant.

Whilst you might not yourself want to work in retail, in a pub or restaurant or as a cleaner, you'd rather miss the people who do if the industry suddenly collapsed. I utterly detest that so many people feel it acceptable to be snide and feel a sense of superiority regarding another persons job.

[GetOutOfMYGarden]

kw I got that a few times when I worked on the checkout during uni. It's complete horseshit, said supermarket paid a decent amount above minimum wage and had really good breaks/leave policies - a better lifestyle in fact, than the 'respected' profession I went to uni to get.

[Lilyhatesjaz]

When we went to the dentist when my children were little I used to tell them that the dentist was going to count their teeth.

[houghtonk76]

Parents - please stop telling people Connexions Advisers were shit & didn't get your layabout 17-19 teenager a job.

Adults in general - please stop telling people (in particular Careers Advisers you meet at parties) how shit the careers advice you had at school was & how it prevented you / nearly prevented you from being a: ballerina, pro-footballer, famous writer / musician, doctor, lawyer, etc. Tim "i'm an astronaut now whojiwatsit this means you - frigging scuppered any chance of turning around Gove's cut all the Connexions budgets & dismantle England's careers services / industry plan completely. Dickwad.

[houghtonk76]

To clarify: Connexions Advisers / Careers Advisers do not just tell everyone they will never amount to anything / achieve said career goals (in fact one college helped a 17 year old Kate Winslet claim job seekers allowance when between jobs after heavenly creatures & another NEET tracked Theo Walcott to check he wasn't unemployed when he'd just been picked for England squad), they are expert professionals qualified at level 6 / 7 to provide impartial advice & guidance, with listening skills & deal with multiple child protection cases (as wiv much derided social workers) per week, have high caseloads - mine were 3000-4000 - and support young people & adults with all sorts of barriers to education and / or employment.

[houghtonk76]

That should be colleague!!!

[TheFirstMrsDV]

Sure there are brilliant ones hough but as a wc woman who was at state school in the 70s and early 80s I can confirm that careers officers most definitely did tell people 'you can't do that', laugh at ambitions and direct them straight to the local factory for employment.

Obviously they cannot be held entirely responsible for thwarting ambitions. The teachers that told us 'girls don't need xyz' and 'don't be silly dear' were also part of the issue.

I assumed that things had changed and those in the job now are doing it for the right reasons.
I wouldn't dismiss the historical experience of adults though. It may explain their prejudice now.

[chemenger]

Careers advice at school was rubbish in the late seventies, I can vouch for that. My careers teacher told me I was wasting my talents because I wanted to be an engineer. Apparent I should have been thinking about going to university. I teach at one now, in engineering, at a university with a fantastic careers service.

[McSmith]

My dad was a police officer and used to hate this. it was absolutely drummed into us as kids that, if we were ever in trouble, we looked out for a uniform.

[UterusUterusGhali]

As a wee bump, I had a family I. My clinic this weekend telling their child I'd "lock them in the cupbord" if they didn't sit still. The cupboard being a room off my clinic room the child was trying the door of.

Apropos this thread I explained how their child might one day need to trust someone like me.

They then changed to "you can't enter the magic room of toys"

[nocoolnamesleft]

Please don't tell your child:

"Behave or I'll get the doctor to tell you off" or

"Behave or I'll get the doctor to give you an injection"

A child being hysterical does not make it easier to treat them. And I can assure you it will not be the child that I tell off.

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

I had to bollock my mother the other day for saying to my DD when (who wasn’t doing as she was told) “if you don’t do it I’ll phone your School and tell Miss Teacher”.

DD is a younger 4 (summer baby) and just started reception. She’s very sensitive and quiet and i was so nervous of her starting her first day. She’s done remarkably well because her teacher is very sweet and supportive and DD positively raves about her!

So I didn’t want her thinking that she was going to be cross with DD for anything, I don’t do the whole “I’ll tell so-and-so”. My mum thought I was being daft. I just don’t think parents should speak on behalf of others when it comes to their children!