MIL wants to sell my baby

[TheExtraPickle]

Apologies for clickbaity title. But now I have your attention...

I'm a paramedic. Several times in the last couple of months I have heard a parent say to their child some variation of "Behave or that ambulance lady will be cross/tell you off/take you away".

Don't. Do. That.

Don't make your child afraid of us.

Don't make them so afraid that when I try to examine their broken arm they scream and squirm and do more damage.

Don't make them afraid to call 999 and ask for help.

Don't make them afraid to approach us if they are lost in public.

Don't make them too afraid to open the front door when you've fallen down the stairs and are unconscious.

I've also heard "the police will come and arrest you if you don't stop". Also not a good message.

Teach your children that the emergency services are here to help and are friendly and trustworthy. You never know when you might need us. Don't use me to discipline or calm your child because the first thing I will do is turn around with a big smile and tell that child it isn't the case.

This has been a public service announcement from TheExtraPickle. (Who's MIL is lovely and in no way involved in child trading)

[HidingUnderARock]

Is it OK to tell the kids that paramedics will tell big fat lies to get their attention so they can talk about something else? Is this because they think people won't be interested in the something else? Perhaps they think telling the big fat lie increases their credibility?
/baffled.

I try not to lie to kids, or anyone else. Obviously some people think the end justifies the means, but would all those people agreeing with OP have not bothered to click an honest (but well phrased) title?

[Minxmumma]

We do safe strangers with our kids. Always taught them that of in doubt / lost / danger etc go to the nearest person in uniform. Seems bizarre to threaten them with the very people there to help.

Oh and I've heard Gumtree is a better bet for baby

[elfinpre]

It's actually not that unlikely that "a policeman will tell you off" for wriggling about in the car - if it goes so far as them distracting the driver or removing their seatbelt then they might at least pull over and have a word with the driver. Nor is it a too remote possibility that a librarian will tell you off for being noisy if it is meant to be a quiet area. These examples are not lying to children. It gives them the idea that it isn't only their parents who are might be cross with them if they misbehave, which is entirely true. It tells them that there are other, more public, consequences beyond mum or dad being cross with you.

If ever a stranger did tell me off as a child, this was much worse than being told off by my mum. So even the threat of that was effective.

[allwomanR]

Does this have to apply to accountants too? DH is one and I was planning on threatening DCs with pocket money audits by him to stop it going on crap

[GrandDesespoir]

MIL is short of cash and wants to sell my baby till payday to pay off her 50 inch plasma. She promises she'll buy her back on payday but I'm a bit wary. AIBU not to allow her to sell my baby?

So actually your MIL only wants to pawn your baby. Disgraceful drip feed.

Seriously, though - great post.

[BoysofMelody]

Easy for a white woman (yes that's a blanket assumption on the site demographic ) but young black and brown skinned men need to be cautious sadly

Yes. When I worked with young offenders I tried to get through to them to be polite and non confrontational, but don't tell them anything you don't have to and to avoid getting involved with anything that could be misconstrued as a confirmation. Some of the so called "super hero cops" are racist and bullies (as there are in a lot of occupations) weren't adverse to giving kids a shoeing on flimsy pretexts.

To say the cops always the interests of young people at heart is as stupid as telling kids that cops will lock you up and throw the key away if you don't eat your sprouts.

[curlilox]

I've had to speak to our neighbours for telling their children "If you don't behave/stop doing that, next door's dog will come and bite you." No. She. Won't. Only parents who can't control their children resort to using the threat of what others will supposedly do.

[SeaEagleFeather]

^Just to add, my OH got a nasty surprise when our 4yr old called the police on him for being naughty and telling him off.

... told OH it was his bloody fault for threatening toddler to tell a policeman on him every time he was naughty.^

[MsJudgemental]

We used to threaten our DS with Supernanny!

[ThePTsWife]

Haha. Good post OP! Well said!

To add a little anecdote about my godson (who is now 13) ... his dad was rather a waste of space and taught him all sorts of crap and when he was 5 in school, police came for a visit and godson yelled at the top of his voice "OH NO ITS THE PIGS!"
I probably shouldn't have but I did have a bit of a chuckle when my friend told me about it.

[Alidoll]

Can we add to parents that Health and Safety people aren't parasites trying to stiffle the world with paperwork. That not every headline you read in the Daily Fail is based on facts or on any actual regulations / legislation and that in 4 days there will be a retraction but hidden on page 34 in small writing..in Swahili when pointed out to them it's utter tripe but by then the damage has been done and their readers believe it as gospel truth.

That regulations that are in place have been independently scrutinised by people that have worked in that field and have often seen first hand the damage that task or piece of machinery has on the human body (maiming for life / death). That these regulations have often been developed after workers have been injured and are there to prevent that injury from happening to anyone else.

That they don't BAN conkers in the playground or the 101 other stupid excuses given under the guise of elf and safety to ban an event when in many cases it's been stopped purely for financial reasons (too expensive) or fear of compensation claims being submitted by people who can't read signs or follow instruction and seem to know better. Please leave the compensation for those who truly deserve it - where companies put their staff at risk by removing guards from machinery because it costs extra to clean it / means they can make more of an item and the result is amputation of a limb.

H&S folk are human too and all most of them would like to see is parents going home to their families safely each day / night they return from work.

They say safety is common sense but sense sometimes isn't so common I'm afraid.

[AtomHeart]

Just tell them that they will be deposited in the local children's home instead. JOKE

[SunnyCoco]

My 3 year old loves emergency service workers, especially the police
If she sees a police officer she waves and shouts "thank you for helping us!"
I live in London and I know I certainly couldn't do their jobs here in this city. Bravery. X

[SunnyCoco]

My 3 year old loves emergency service workers, especially the police
If she sees a police officer she waves and shouts "thank you for helping us!"
I live in London and I know I certainly couldn't do their jobs here in this city. Bravery. X

[PoohBearsHole]

Emergency services, you know you are brill but I wanted to say when I recently had an anaphylaxis episode and an ambulance x2 and paramedic came to the house - not all at once - the lovely gents put my terrified 6 year old at ease. They didn't make a huge deal out of a scary situation, they took time to reassure him, they whipped me off to hospital and made it very gentle.
He now talks proudly of how he was in charge of opening the door to important people who saved mummy. He also talks about how it isn't a "big" deal that mummy has had to go more than once in an ambulance and that it is just like a visit to the special dr.

HE would not be so relaxed had they not been so utterly understanding and brilliant with a parent alone with a small child in a scary situation (1st proper anaphylaxis episode)

[PoohBearsHole]

Oh and Dd has two great friends, parent 1 is a police officer who works locally and kids know, parent 2 is the epitome of cool as a fire fighter

[Helentad]

We have always taught our twin boys people in uniforms are people you can trust and they still hold to this. They love police, firemen and ambulance staff etc. Example we went to see John Legend at the Manchester Arena this last Saturday (for 11th birthday) it's only the 2nd time it's been used since the bombing and the police presence was imence for obvious reasons. My boys smiled and chatted with every officer and asked one group for a photo which made the day even putting helpers on the boys etc. It doesn't take much to change somebody's perspective on both sides and my boys feel safe going up to any uniform staff.

[AAH2919]

My little boy is 5 and knows that police take naughty people away only because he witnessed it one time in the the shopping center so i had to be straight with him but made sure he knew thst police also help goid boys and girls when they need help if they get lost and need to find mammy or daddy, he also knows an abulance takes sick people and helps them get better (too much cartoons i say) but he does know he has to behave to help the nurse/ paramedic to help the sick person to get better, (he has experiance of when his little sister got took in hospital he helped her instead of fighting with her lol). He knows what numbers to ring and who to ask for on my phone incase of an emergancy in the house too as i am a single parent, and scares me if something happened and i couldnt get help my self.

Annoys me when the emergancy service are there to help and protect us no need to make kids scared of them. Xx

[corythatwas]

BoysofMelody Mon 18-Sep-17 21:49:50
"Or having worked for social services, there's the depressing spectacle of other 'professionals' like teachers using the stick of a referral to social services as a stick to ensure compliance."

oh yes, we had this one from the school; setting up SS as some vague ogre in the background, when they were actually the ones who had access to all the information we needed to get support for our sick child

[5foot5]

When I was 17 I had to travel to London alone by train to attend a University Open Day. A big deal for me and my parents as I lived in a very rural area in the North of England many miles from London. However, this was nearly 40 years ago and it never occurred to my parents that they might go with me.

Anyway, they were obviously worried about me being in the Big City alone but I will always remember my Dad's advice for if I got lost or needed help. He said I should approach someone in a uniform. It didn't matter what the uniform was (though police were preferable) because a uniform meant you could trust them

[MammaTJ]

We were at a football festival, organised locally to raise money for charity. It was in a big field, with a play park in a small fenced off area in one corner. I let DD, age 4, go to the play park with some friends. They abandoned her, in the way young kids do! DD 'forgot' where I was! She asked a policeman. This would be because I never threatened her with the police or any other authority figure, just told her they would help her, if she needed!

Also, do not threaten your DC that the 'shop lady' will tell them off, because when that 'shop lady' was me, I would have been pulling faces at them and poking my tongue out to them, when they were looking at me and you weren't!! I would be no use!

[Secnarf]

And also, please no more "if you don't behave, I'll get the doctor to stick a needle in you".

It can make things very difficult, particularly when it comes just before the doctor has to say that your child is indeed going to have to have blood tests, or a lumbar puncture, or a joint injection.

[ErrolTheDragon]

Any child who's seen a paramedic calmly apparently bringing diabetic granny back to life in the comfort of her own home (well, once it was a restaurant ... odd place to go hypo) knows they're lovely.

Your MIL shouldn't sell your baby. Swap it for a nice cockerpoo puppy maybe?

[brotherphil]

We're still people, we deserve people using their manners just the same as everyone else!

This - a hundred times over.
Took DW and kids and some of DD's school friends to see Beauty and the Beast for a birthday treat. About £10 worth of popcorn dropped on the floor, and muggins here had to get out of his wheelchair to try to clean it up because everyone else walked off. I was absolutely mortified.
DW's attitude - stated, not just my impression of it - was "That's what the staff are there for". No: it may be part of their job if necessary, but it is not what they are there for. Will not be doing it again. Might (but only might) pay for it, but do not wish to be associated with such rudeness.

[SpareChangeDownTheSofa]

That's what the staff are there for Oh yes this! People leaving trays full of mess or stuff all over the table and floor! Drives me mad! They say the staff are there for it but they're the same people who complain when I'm too busy tidying up after others to serve them the instant they stand infront of the till!