AIBU to be worried my 7 year old still can't really read?

[MigrainesAndMore]

My son is 7 in a few weeks and is one of the very eldest in his class so will be joining year 2.
For a little perspective he attends a very small independent school that don't focus too much on literacy / reading / writing from what I've seen however when I voiced my concerns I was told he lacks concentration and interest in reading.
He refused blankly to do reading with us at home so we ordered him his own collection of books that he didn't associate with school and have practised as much as we could.
Teacher then recommended a tutor which has helped slightly ( one hour per Sunday ) however after using her for 6 months and with us reading with him at least 5 times a week, along with him having a story from us every single bedtime he just doesn't seem to be grasping it.
Not only is he completely not interested, he seems to really struggle with remembering a word he's only just read on the page before, still segmenting and blending pretty basic words.
He is on blue level at school which when compared to mainstream schools ( ours don't discuss levels at all ) he's working at about a year below.
Is there anything else I could be doing to help?

I agree and he is born 1/09 so is very old for his year so the score seemed low to me too.
The books are phonetic based and he seems to have a decent grasp on phonics until it comes to reading a book.
Flash cards for instance he's pretty good at, I'm wondering if it's an attention issue which is harder to know how to work out.
Writing is very good although he sometimes forgets his full stops but remembers capital letters for the start and for names etc quite well.

Apologies, but have skim read. My DS was eventually diagnosed at 9 with a visual processing disorder that was (very) severe but I was going bananas long before then. He did well in one class, where he liked the teacher and wanted to please but otherwise... nada, and he hated the books (Oxford Reading Tree). But he's doing English A level now, and it's probably his best subject. However, he prefers audio books, well read, to reading for pleasure, even though he knows he should get more off the printed page. Hope it all works out for you.

Yes I was mary
Though who would employ an unqualified tutor remains to be seen. I could say I'm an unqualified brain surgeon I guess.
I think there is an assumption that private schools are better- not always the case I've found.

Though who would employ an unqualified tutor remains to be seen

Some parents pay through the nose for their children to be taught by unqualified teaching staff in private schools.

The tutor is a retired primary school teacher from a local state school to add!

Since when is 34/40 a fairly low score on the phonics test?!

It's 2 words above the pass rate in a test where the modal score nationally is 40/40.

Scraping a pass would tend to indicate that while he doesn't have a phonological processing deficit there are some big gaps in the knowledge/skills you'd expect him to have IMO. I suspect the OP already knows that though.

Why did you choose to send your dd to this school too? Did you apply for state school reception place for her? That would likely have pushed your ds up the waiting list due to sibling priority.
Seems an odd thing to choose to send another dc to this school.

I think that's a contradiction in terms
Unqualified teacher that is.

I applied to our nearest school and got given one again 3 miles away even though this time wasn't a late application or anything.
Living in a very overcrowded built up area of London.

Why are you worried about SATs? What do you think is going to happen if he doesn't do well?

OP, are you happy with the academic standard the children at this school come out with? If so it seems a bit premature to be worrying, given that he is in a school where they delay teaching reading until later than state primaries. Your son may not be ready to read yet, but if he loves books and language it'll almost certainly come, especially if he is writing. It sounds as though he is sensing your anxiety.
For what its worth, ds was 8 when he went from throwing biff and chip across the room to reading harry potter within a few months. Breaking the tv might have been a factor, but I think he was just ready.

I wouldn't necessarily assume that there's any concerning reason just yet, in my experience.

DS1 went from struggling to read beginner level books at age 7 (i.e. the same sort of difficulty level he'd been given at age 5, when we were still living in the UK) and we were getting a bit concerned, but he caught up to be totally on a par with his peers by age 8.

He jumped from being basically a non-reader, to having no trouble reading the likes of Spiderwick Chronicles, within one academic year, just because he was finally ready and interested.

This year he won his high school's senior English award and he's been a total book-addict from age 8.

Why do you have a sense of urgency about your son mastering reading? Is it because you are planning to change his school?

The main reasons it might be important for him to be able to improve his reading in a hurry would be 1) if the school were expecting a higher standard of reading than he can manage, and if he sees other kids doing things he can't do, then his self-esteem may take a hit and 2) if the school were moving towards delivering the curriculum via reading and he can't understand, he'd be unable to access the curriculum. Neither of these appears to be true. If he isn't being put at a disadvantage at school, I can't see why he needs to read well now.

If he were at a different school then his reading attainment would start to become an issue soon. At this school, it isn't.

Neither of my children could read well by the age of seven, but because they are home educated, they just learned in other ways. Starting to read later than they would have done at school hasn't disadvantaged them. By the way, in home ed circles the phenomenon of writing before reading is a common one. Young kids may be more eager to express their own ideas than they are to work at understanding what somebody else is trying to communicate to them, especially when the "somebody else" is the unknown author of a reading book which doesn't particularly interest them.

If he loses his place easily have you tried using a ruler or sheet of paper on each line and moving it down? My DD had tracking issues and until we used a program we downloaded (cost £20 about 5 years ago) she found it really difficult not to lose her place on the page.

There is a good program called Rainbow Words that focuses on whole word reading rather than phonics. That might be useful.

Op my DS is 7 and still cannot read very well. However, he has severe language difficulties and this impacted on his ability to learn how to read. But ! And it's a big but ! DS was not taught to read when he was in reception at his mainstream. The teacher and the therapist at the time (wrongly assumed that he wouldn't pick up during the phonics lessons so he was always out of the phonics lessons). They advised me to wait till he was more verbal. I took their word (stupid mistake!).

DS moved schools...a specialist provision and they were the ones who encouraged me to teach him to read as they were doing it too. But it's still a slow progress for him.

So yes think about moving schools, but one thing I have learnt is that to never rely on a teacher/school to teach your child. Some children thrive without getting much input from home and just learn very quickly by just being in school. The other half of children are not like this and do need extra input at school.

I taught DS to read and I was astounded how he picked it up ! Anyway... it's never too late to learn how to read plus the summer holidays is your friend right. The best resource I brought for DS... was the "The Jolly phonics Handbook". Which also provided lots of photocopied resources I can use. I spent 15 mins a day going through the lesson which is provided in the jolly phonics handbook. Majority of that time went on going through and learning the 42 (or 44) phonetic alphabet.

Decidable books are really good too !

YouTube is also good at giving you ideas. DS was stuck in the blending stage...could hear the word when I blent it... but didn't if he blent it. Looking at good old YouTube... I realised I was teaching him to blend wrong . Now his thriving.

Keep reading books (every night)... he also needs to understand what his reading...e.g. Who is that man ? What happened....Why did the boy hurt Jim. Focussing on the 5 W's (who, what, where,when and why) and expanding DS interests (to whatever interested in the story) gave me a structure of what I needed to be focusing on when reading. This also later follows on to guided reading. But when reading to him and focussing on the 5Ws... don't make it sound like a test or ask too many questions...make it as if your figuring it out together..e.g. "Oh look DS ! What on earth happened to Reuben ?! (Pause) Silly Reuben he fell down the stairs and hurt his knees".

Rhyming books are also good. Tar Heel reader is a good free book resource... not the best visuals but it's simple, easy and your DS may enjoy it.

Small Independent schools are often not good at all.
How is he doing in other subjects like maths (Steiner was not about just playing all day but about the children guiding what they learned).
Their ethos should be to educate and in little ones this means literacy even if they don't teach phonics.
I suspect he's tired after a day in school and doesn't really want to then focus on much reading etc. I'm sure he is picking up the feeling he isn't doing well and the push from you for him to read. That said it's reasonable for a parent to want a child to read.
How expert are they is spotting dyslexia or other processing problems? They might be dismissive because they have very limited experience and resources. Get him to an educational psychogist for proper assessment.
Go to school and don't be put off with 'he lacks focus'. They're a school and should have ways of addressing a lack of focus. What is their literacy policy? When do they put in additional support? How do they identify children who need more support?
Consider a move to a state primary with good teaching.

I don't get the issue here at all. They don't focus on academics until year 2. You knew this, and he hasn't started year 2 yet, therefore it shouldn't come as a shock that he hasn't grasped reading as well as you may have hoped. My kids go to an outstanding state school, very much focused on academia - and on the phonics test there was outrage amongst some parents of boys, because they all scored lower than your son did. It was explained away (I'm told) as being normal for boys to be slower to Cotton on to reading. My son got 40/40 so I kept my mouth shut, but he enjoys reading, and we've had hundreds of books for him since before he began school and has always been read to and chooses to read for pleasure. I don't understand why you're now putting your youngest in the reception if it's that bad. You'll get the same results with your daughter, surely?

There was no choice.
We moved here last year and were offered a school FOURTEEN miles away and were told the council would cover the transport.
Being unhappy with this I had to look into other options and this was the only " private " school we could afford. Kept him on all waiting lists but no movement has happened.
Applied for all local schools for my daughter and even though this time we were in time, got offer a school 4 miles away in another borough.
So it hasn't been though choice!
My concern has always been that if and when a state place does come up he will be massively behind hence us doing so much work with him at home and paying for a tutor on top of this!

I'd be worried but then dylexia and associated issues in my family.

If you want to do more at home:

www.teachyourmonstertoread.com/
dancing bear books
www.readingchest.co.uk/
song bird books

All things that have helped us.

if they step thinsg up in year 2 - perhaps it will be okay espaiclly if their sats results are fine - though if everyone is using tutors that might not be such a good indicator.

My concern has always been that if and when a state place does come up he will be massively behind hence us doing so much work with him at home and paying for a tutor on top of this!

Two of mine were behind at year 1 and 2 - they made huge progress over KS2 and are no longer behind but doing really well. So even if he is behind with the support your already doing he can certainly catch up.

I wouldn't worry too much. Just keep making reading as enjoyable as possible. Look for fun things to read. Stories in bed when he's all relaxed and comfy. Dinosaur books. Song lyrics. Cake recipes (where he gets the cake at the end).

Dancing Bears is an excellent scheme if you want to cover the gaps. It's intense but should only take 10-15 mins a day.

It also has tracking activities and uses a slotted card which may help him.

If he was OK at the end of Reception, then you'll probably find you don't need to start at the very beginning.

How good or bad was the school 3 or 4 miles away that you were offered for your DD? How difficult was the commute? I know that's not ideal for an inner London primary, but it sounds possible. Presumably if you'd taken it you'd have been top of the list for a sibling place for your DS.