To ask if you've ever not fitted in at work?

[Midge1978]

Just looking for a bit of advice or even just sympathy! Have been working at a place part time for a couple of years looking after children and I work in a small team of women. It's my first job looking after children so I've had some confidence issues and it's not an easy job but I always try my hardest.

One of my colleagues has been difficult from day one, muttering about my many 'errors' and picking me up on everything. I welcome constructive criticism but she is exhausting. She completely ignores me at social events too. I try to shrug it off but I'm a shy, sensitive person and it makes me even more self conscious and very uncomfortable. My manger noticed it and told me to ignore her but she's also really pally with her too.

In fact all the women are quite a tight knit group and I don't feel part of it at all. They generally ignore me unless I speak to them and I'm often thankful for the children distracting me. I do feel like I want to leave, it's a job of convenience anyway as it fits in school hours. I have never felt so lonely in a job. Has anyone else been through anything like this at all? Did it get any better or was leaving the only solution to being happy again? I just want to feel like myself again.

[GreenTulips]

I've also been there!

One woman is 'in charge' of social gathering - only she chooses who to invite where to go etc - she's been there years and very much above her station so to speak

I don't like the way she treats people, but unlike you I am confident and outgoing and she doesn't upset me.

I go to work do a good job and leave -

[Coloursthatweremyjoy]

In that case Midge. A trick of my husbands. He works with a team of management consultants, think high end, expensive suits, very intelligent etc. He has noticed that they smile. They smile at their friends, they smile at their enemies, whether you are happy, or unhappy, complaining or praising. He says it is their best tactic and totally disarms people.

I think it has to do with earning an extortionate amount of money, he thinks its a business technique. Either way it was the only thing that helped me...it confuses people you see they can't tell what you are thinking.

Good luck.

[demirose87]

Is it a day nursery? I've always found that this type of environment has a few bullies, I think cos everyone is working closely together and seeing the same people day in day out. I was in this situation a few years ago and the person involved ended up being suspended for bullying another girl after she had turned her attentions from me to her. I dreaded going into work because of her, she was so horrible all the time and always trying to put me down and embarrass me in front of others. Just do your job, be professional around her and speak to management if you need to. Most work places will not stand for any bullying

[WannaBeDelgadaToFitInToMyPrada]

Could have written this. Thankfully they sacked me in January. I would risk a joke and there'd be silence. They'd all do a full on Regan but ignore me. I'd be thinking bitches, come on, that was funny. I started off determined to stay strong but I had a STUTTER by the time the manager sacked me. One of the things she gave out to for was not being part of the team. I tried.

Officially workplaces don't want bullying no but it's more convenient for them to believe that you're ''uppity'' or ''weird'' or ''odd'' than to acknowledge that a team of however many froze you out. For no reason.

[Cupcake1315]

I'm a teacher and I worked at a children's centre as a nursery teacher. Oh how I was bullied! I cried every night, I got very thin, was afraid to

[Cupcake1315]

Opps posted too soon. Was afraid to even talk. It was just a bad environment. I'm glad I left. You need to leave. It won't get any better and you'll only become depressed and dread work every day.

It's awful that you're going through thi!

[Midge1978]

God wannabe I've started stuttering too, it's awful isn't it how your confidence gets completely eroded.

[blueshoes]

It sounds really bad if you are stuttering. I don't understand how management can turn a blind eye to workplace bullying. Please try to get out of this situation. It is completely not on. It is not you, it's them.