To ask the older women around

[PaperdollCartoon]

Did you have doubts or concerns about your DH and/or your relationship before you married him that ultimately turned out to be unfounded? Did you question your decision but are happy now?
The whole narrative is that everything will be perfect before you commit, I don't feel that's true. I think relationships grow. But I'd appreciate any insight x

[FinallyThroughTheRoof]

Obviously don't sleep with his dad

[Loopytiles]

What sort of "sexual incompatability"? V little sex? He's bad in bed? Into porn? Wants it more than you?

[BaronessBomburst]

If a man has a low sex drive in his late twenties/ early thirties, it's not going to improve as he gets older. Technique can be worked on - provided he has enough drive to want to work on it.

[PurpleDaisies]

Look at his dad.

My DH is becoming his as he gets older. Totally. Good insight into future.

I don't think that's true. Plenty of people make totally different choices to their parents.

Op I'd say if you have doubts, don't marry. Things don't have to be perfect but you have to be able to accept them without hoping for change.

[Saiman]

I would not have married dh if i had doubts.

Marriage isnt easy and 18 years later the trust isnt just there its a deep ingrained trust.

But i am also not naive to think he would never break my trust. No one can ever say they wouldnt do something wrong.

I trust him as much as anyone can trust another person. But i am a 'never say never' type of person.

I cant imagine breaking dhs trust. But again never say never. I have seen genuinely good people fuck up occasionally.

Marriage hasnt been easy. Its been up and down. But on the whole its been great. So thats why we try and work at the shit bits.

I am 35 and got married at 20 if that helps.

[FinallyThroughTheRoof]

True in my case.

[IrritatedUser1960]

Mmm I had some minor doubts but unfortunately they turned out to be very major problems and I'm now divorced a few decades later.
You shouldn't expect your partner to be perfect because nobody is but he should have basic decency and your core beliefs should be pretty much the same.
If he likes wasting money now you can be sure you will have none 10 years down the line, if he flirts now you can kiss goodbye to fidelity in 10 years time.
Just make sure his faults are things you can deal with later on when the first flush of love wears off.

[RickOShay]

Can you talk to him about how you feel? How important is sex to you?
Do you fancy the pants off him?
Have a think about your priorities in a relationship, if you have any worries, the first thin to do is tell him.

[GnomeDePlume]

Been married 25 years

IME compatability grows if there is communication. If there is something you have different wants or expectations about but cant communicate about then that will eventually turn into an unspoken resentment which will damage the foundations of your relationship.

[TheNaze73]

I seriously think marriage should be on a 10 year contract, with an option to renew or break the contract. Men really don't know what they want until they're in their 30's as a rule & I think a lot of people get the ring & don't work at relationships.
They'll always be great stories of people that have been together years & still share the same values, life goals & sex drives however, in reality there'll be far more that don't