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To feel fat after being asked this?

42 replies

snoopypoodle · 23/06/2017 13:14

Pregnant with DC 2, first pregnancy no bump until about 16/17weeks and now I'm 17weeks and bump is quite obvious if I don't wear anything too baggy.

Went into a shop I frequent every week today and lady I usually chat with said "oh gosh you're really showing now aren't you?" I said "yes is suppose so it's 17weeks now" and she said "oh is that all" and "are you sure it's just 1?" . I stayed polite and made small talk paid and left but it's made me feel really down.

I don't know if it's due to hormones too but I just feel fat and frumpy whereas up until today I thought I was doing and looking ok for 4months along. Granted this time around the bump is considerably bigger than it was when I was pregnant with DC1 but I really hoped it wasn't as big as she made out.

AIBU to feel so crap and fat and to be craving pizza all at the same time?

OP posts:

WonderLime · 23/06/2017 13:18

I had similar comments from my boss at around 5 months - I would say 'no, it's one baby and a dozen doughnuts' (probably true).

Don't let it get to you and try to keep lighthearted if you can. Some people aren't aware that their comments are offensive which they definitely can feel like when we're feeling fat, frumpy and hormonal. I don't think they mean any harm by it though.


WorraLiberty · 23/06/2017 13:19

There's a massive difference between being pregnant and being fat.

She was talking about the size of your bump, not your arse Grin Thanks


ChopinLisztFinder · 23/06/2017 13:21

I was told by different people that I was "enormous" and "tiny", on the same day.

That was the day I realised that people have no idea what they're talking about.


Broccolirevolution · 23/06/2017 13:23

I got 'are you sure it's not twins' during all three of my pregnancies. It gives you the rage. People don't think before they speak. Don't let it upset you.


BigDamnHero · 23/06/2017 13:26

People tend not to have any real idea of how big a pregnancy bump 'should' look at different points through the pregnancy. They're often not good at converting weeks to months, either. And some people also seem to think telling you your bump is massive is some sort of compliment.

Put all these things together and basically any comment from anyone about bumps etc. should be interpreted as: 'Oh you're pregnant so I feel the need to mention the fact your body is changing even though that would be considered rude at any other time.'


MiddleClassProblem · 23/06/2017 13:28

Brilliant comment, Worra. You're just brewing that baby nicely x


IWantABlueBanana · 23/06/2017 13:30

I wouldnt get upset by that comment.

My dh said to a friend who is due next week "youve put on two sizes since yesterday". Its not what he meant to say, and our friend knows he can be as daft as shit but from a random Thats the kind of twatty comment id be pissed about.


snoopypoodle · 23/06/2017 13:31

She has kids and DGCs of her own so you'd think she knows what pregnant bumps look like.

Although it did remind me of when I used to work retail when pregnant with DC1 and a man asked me how many days I had left as he said I look like I'm "ready to pop" only to have his GF give him the evilest evils I have ever seen when I told him I've 2 months to go.

OP posts:

10storeylovesong · 23/06/2017 13:31

I'm 25 weeks and while walking my dog on Monday had the park ranger point at my stomach and confidently say, "you've finished for maternity now then?!". His face was a picture when I told him I had 3 months left yet. He then followed it up with "twins then?". Luckily I know he's a really bloke who was just trying to make conversation so I just laughed it off.


ellesbellesxxx · 23/06/2017 13:33

Every bump is so different and people are well meaning but silly.. people commented the whole way through my twin pregnancy that i looked small.. at 36+4 one twin was 6lb15 and the other 5lb13 so absolutely fine!


Montsti · 23/06/2017 13:35

I'm 25 weeks with no.4 and I do put on a fair amount of weight during my I should be used to this but I seriously can't believe how rude people are!!

But yesterday 2 mothers (at separate intervals) looked at me in disgust and couldn't believe I wasn't about to pop and still had a few months to go...One said she didn't believe that I wasn't having twins - cheeky cow!


snoopypoodle · 23/06/2017 13:41

It probably doesn't help that despite wanting to I never lost the weight I planned on after DC1 I'm not big by any means (size 12) but I always felt a lot more confident in 8/10 as I'm quite short and I never felt confident about my body since having my first (saggy belly, boobs, stretch marks etc) I still find it hard now.
I guess it might make me a bit more sensitive to comments about how I look.

OP posts:

Raffles1981 · 23/06/2017 13:43

I got that from a total stranger and my boss, because I did start to show quite early and I am now 6 months and ALL bump. I immediately txt my mum and she assured me it is not a bad thing, people just say things without thinking. I get sick of the twins comment, the scans only show one, I am not about to start whipping out my scan just to prove it! We are all different. You cannot even tell I am pregnant from the back (something I also get told a lot) My boss is like most people, they say things and have no idea the affect it will have. I stopped taking his twin comments to heart when he actually argued that I am eating for two (hmm)


littlebird7 · 23/06/2017 13:44

I would not be going back to that shop in a hurry!

Why do people always need to comment? What difference does it make to them whether your bump is big/small not let them make you feel sad, love your bump - and your pregnancy and don't let that foul lady ruin your day (she must be very miserable in her own life to be so nasty to you)


littlebird7 · 23/06/2017 13:46

A woman at the hosp once said to me was I sure I was even pregnant with dd2, given that I had been in hosp the week before heavily bleeding and nearly lost dd I really wasn't impressed at all. Some people are so insensitive.


LittlePear91 · 23/06/2017 13:46

My baby is 3 months old and we can get the comments of 'isn't she big' and 'she's a tiny little thing' in the space of an hour. It was the same about my bump when I was pregnant.

People basically haven't got a clue, even the ones you'd think should! Try not to let it bother you, you're cooking a baby!


TheWildRumpyPumpus · 23/06/2017 13:47

Better than being asked a month after delivery when the baby is due (as may have happened to me)


Mycarsmellsoflavender · 23/06/2017 13:47

What worra said.

The obviousness of your bump has nothing much to do with how fat / thin you are. I've seen both skinny ladies and fat ladies who don't show until very late. I've also seen both skinny ladies and fat ladies with very obvious round bumps, skinny ladies especially. It's more to do with your height and the tone of your abdominal muscles.


Floggingmolly · 23/06/2017 13:50

Are you very slim? I personally think thin people show much sooner than me those with a bit of fat to conceal things in!


DJBaggySmalls · 23/06/2017 13:50

If you get those comments, tell them you're smuggling ostrich eggs and walk away Smile


Pollaidh · 23/06/2017 13:55

In my first pregnancy my bump was so tiny as to be unnoticeable - remember telling colleagues I'd be off (in 2 months time), and they all stared uncomprehendingly. Practically had to remove all my clothes to prove it.

And then... 3 months post-baby, 2 different people congratulated me on my 'next' pregnancy. Angry


RB68 · 23/06/2017 13:58

Yes they are just making so called polite conversation...


pictish · 23/06/2017 14:02

It's on the list of "things people say to pregnant women". Don't give it another thought.


NKFell · 23/06/2017 14:06

Oh please don't be offended by this- I once said this to someone myself...I promise I was referring to the bump and the woman didn't look remotely fat!


TheFirstMrsDV · 23/06/2017 14:09

You are over thinking it.
People are going to make comments throughout your pregnancy. It will be annoying, sweet, infuriating and lovely depending how you feel.

Its part of being pregnant. People are interested and they like to talk about it.

Did you have issues with your size/weight before? Is there a back story to this?

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