AIBU to explain as parents with chronic illness fo about "chicken pox"

[Lonelymummyof1]

Following the chicken pox thread it seemed to include alot of eye rolling when people mention having a weak immune system or similar like were asking way to much for people to keep their otherwise healthy children "locked up" for 5 days instead of having to lock ours away for life.
The one question always appears
What do you regarding most infectious illness's being contagious before being apparents ? "

We can not stop everything, we can not protect them from every viral/ infection out there which is sadly something we fear every single day of our lives.
My DD 3 has fought sepsis 6 times leaving at times critical to the point I held her lifeless in my arms and thought it was defintly the time I was going to have to say good bye.
Every spiked fever brings the ulitimate fear and straight to hospital for treatment.
We can not prevent things we do not know are around, we can not look them up in 4 walls forever.
We know that some illness is going to be un noticable.
However we lower the risks when we can and we appreciate when the public also help.
So do not question or eye roll as by asking for isolation for 5 days is nothing to locking one up for months and months on ene which at times is unfortuntly reality.
They have constant blood work and if their neutrophils are below a certain point you can not take them anywhere.
To enjoy the park, cinema ...we have never ever made a bonfire night , trick or treating and managed one trip to the beach in 3 years.
It is hard but worth it.

[Suntrapped]

She didn't even try - she could have gone to the supermarket on the way before she collected the child, she could have asked the nursery staff for help by , eg , explaining her isolation to other parents and asking one of them to drop over some groceries for her. Taxis book up in advance? A go book one to bring your shopping to you - in rural communities where I have lives, taxi services doubles as delivery and messenger services for people isolated at home. That poster didn't even think to attempt any of these

I admit I didn't realise how dangerous CP can be. At the time I was focused on getting my ill child home ASAP, with provisions to get us through the next few days.

[OnlyEatsToast]

YANBU OP. There's so much ignorance about the potential effects of CP but unfortunately you won't be able to change the minds of folk who don't/won't 'get it'

[AwaywiththePixies27]

They might be a single mum

I'm a single Mum. I have choices. I already rely heavily on the internet for food shopping and amazon for gifts etc. I'm also immunocompromised and was ever so grateful for my BF telling me to stay away when her DCs had CP. It meant I didn't end up in hospital over Christmas for the umpteenth time that year.

My DD was already un the doctors surgery when she had CP. In my defense we didn't know she had it! She had a few spots on her torso and that was it. They were only spotted because the nurse was checking her chest on a routine checkup.

DS has had them twice and got really poorly both times. The second time even more so. He was on a shedload of antivirals oral medicine and creams, and regular check-ups with the doc in an isolated room with a very miserable little boy.

[sycamore54321]

OP you are perfectly right. Even if some elements of pre-symptomatic infection can't be avoided, that is still ZERO excuse for being in public places once you know there is chicken pox or whatever else. I found that other thread quite off - even if the OP really had access to an entirely empty beach, the blasé attitude about the earlier bus, shopping and pharmacy (!!! - where lots of sick people need to go) was disgusting. I don't believe for a second that someone with a child at nursery had zero options. She didn't even try - she could have gone to the supermarket on the way before she collected the child, she could have asked the nursery staff for help by , eg , explaining her isolation to other parents and asking one of them to drop over some groceries for her. Taxis book up in advance? A go book one to bring your shopping to you - in rural communities where I have lives, taxi services doubles as delivery and messenger services for people isolated at home. That poster didn't even think to attempt any of these or a hundred other options and then has the gall to bleat about "being judged".

For those saying get the vaccine, the entire point of immunosuppressive conditions os that the immune system does not work. Vaccines are effective by getting the body to mount an immune response. No immune system = no response. I despair at the selfishness, lack of sense of society and lack of science literacy of large numbers of people on this topic.

For what it's worth, I vaccinate against CP as soon as the child is old enough, I don't have or even know a single immuno-compromised person, my family and I are probably the least at risk from CP as anyone can be and I am still furious at the idea of someone who can't quarantine their child for the appropriate period and blithely puts everyone else at huge risk.

OP of this thread, best wishes to you and your children. You sound like you have been through a lot already and they are clearly very lucky to have you.

[Lonelymummyof1]

Yes bettyspants when dd was alot younger and in hospital another patients sister who had been in the playroom with DD the next day came down with it ( did not know prior ) we were lucky that she never caught it bit we were put in to isolation for 3 weeks.

[Bettyspants]

Dairy milk muncher, incubation period is 7-21 days (usually 10 to 21) days after exposure to the herpes varicella-zoster virus to the development of the symptoms. The disease is most contagious a day or two before the rash appears and until the rash is completely dry and scabbed over, about five to six days after onset of the rash

[Lonelymummyof1]

They can not have the chicken pox vaccine because it is a live vaccine and even though they kay have previously vaccinated against other things their immine system is so shut down they are not relevant anyway

[Bettyspants]

Op I completely agree. I saw a four year old chemo patient die from contracting chicken pox from one of the few days he was well enough to go to nursery.. it was traced to the older sibling of a child in his 'room' as the child didn't have spots the parent assumed he didn't have the virus. I've seen an increasing number of children needing hospital treatment for chicken pox and from an anecdotal view more not having immunity from catching the virus. Makes me think we will end up recommending the chicken pox and shingles vaccines here on the NHS eventually.

[ExcuseMyEyebrows]

YANBU OP. My daughter was immunosuppressed for two years while she was undergoing treatment for leukaemia. During that time when there was even a remote chance she had come in contact with CP, she had to have very painful intramuscular injections to help prevent catching it. She was just a little toddler then but thankfully didn't catch it until her chemo- and radiotherapy were finished.

At even such a young age she learned not to get too close to people and many's the time we had to remove her (and of course her siblings too as they were just small) from a swimming pool, soft play or cinema - in the middle of fun (sadly, they got used to the disappointment) - if we had the slightest suspicion there was someone infectious there. Parties were off the agenda unless all guests' parents could assure me they hadn't been in contact with CP or measles. These are deadly illnesses and I am incredulous that in these days of enlightenment (my DD was ill over 30 years ago), uncaring selfish people are still spreading them around.

[Misstic]

OP, can your sons be given the vaccine?

[Dawndonnaagain]

There is a chicken pox vaccination just not a free one. It costs about £120, if you're so frightened of your child catching pox then pay to vaccinate them!
My immune-suppressed dd can't have the injection either. I don't imagine she's the only one.

[Dairymilkmuncher]

I'm so surprised peaceloveandviscuits I have seen so many kids with spots and rashes but thought if you could see them it must have been fine. Should I say to their mums at soft plays etc? Is it just pussy spots or crusty ones too?

[LorLorr2]

In this case one person keeping things convenient for themselves is a serious risk to another.
It may be a pain to stay in for a while, but I imagine if someone or their child are in a position of suppressed immunity then they've probably had a crap time overall, except it isn't going to go away as easily as your bout of chicken pox.
To avoid unnecessary trips out this is one of the many times the internet comes in handy! Shopping, entertainment, contact.

About the GP waiting room- sometimes they sit you in a section away from everyone else!

[EggysMom]

I do understand your question, OP. Our son's first spots were found on a Saturday evening - he'd been at his disability club that afternoon, at school for the full week prior. I had no way of knowing that he'd picked up the CP virus until those spots appeared, but then immediately curtailed all activity beyond playing in our back garden. I suspect our son picked it up from another child, one or two weeks prior, who also didn't know they were carrying the virus and contagious but not spotty.

If you cannot tell that a child is incubating the virus, you cannot keep them out of public places.

How dangerous is it to walk on a beach, metres away from other people; or in a country park, again avoiding other people; as opposed to playing in a private back garden where there might be other children in neighbouring gardens? My understanding is that the CP virus is transferred by direct contact or through body fluids (snot etc).

[missyB1]

We had ds vaccinated when he was two, it's very effective as long as they have the two shots four weeks apart. I wish it was on the national immunisation program, CP can be a very serious illness and not just for the immunocompromised.

[Ollivander84]

I did actually chance sitting in the waiting room at the GP once. Until a fairly elderly lady announced that she had chicken pox to the entire room. I've never been thrown out a room so fast in my life!

[lazycrazyhazy]

I also find it INCREDIBLE that anyone would take a potentially contagious child into the GP. I left my very ill child in the car with a window open and another adult and went in then the GP came to the car with me. It's so obvious... even if you go in and say "we are outside"....

[Sprinklestar]

Suntrapped - I will judge. Actions such as yours could potentially kill the OP's child, my DH and many of the other people on this thread. I'm embarrassed for you that you could be so stupidly selfish.

[lazycrazyhazy]

I was under the impression CP was contagious rather than infectious which means you'd need close contact to pass it on... is that incorrect? Having had a healthy child's become very ill with it I'd definitely air on side of caution but avoiding close contact should be enough. I really feel for immuno-compromised children and we should all do all we can to protect them. Sadly there's nothing we can do about the spread of disease before symptoms appear... other than normal hygiene / hand washing etc...

[Suntrapped]

I disagree. Going out is avoidable. Get meds delivered or ask a friend/neighbour. Get a taxi or Uber rather than potentially infecting a whole bus load of people

We don't have Uber here (rural area) and taxis have to be booked well in advance. Same with food deliveries, I order our Tesco delivery at the start of the week as all the slots fill up. Not everyone has family/friends locally who can get their shopping or give them a lift.

I agree infectious children should be kept away from public places where possible. My point is don't judge the mum in the supermarket who is buying essential provisions, or someone taking their ill child home on the bus. You don't know what their situation is.

[NotAUserNumberSoNotATroll]

There is a chicken pox vaccination just not a free one. It costs about £120, if you're so frightened of your child catching pox then pay to vaccinate them!

[Ollivander84]

Technically I probably should be in isolation with my neutrophils a lot of the time but I can't because I work full time. I avoid obviously ill looking people - snotty, coughing etc
I don't sit in doctors waiting rooms (I wait outside) and same at consultant appointments. I'm permanently neutropenic

[lalalalyra]

YANBU.

For every parent who has their CP'd child out because they legitimately have too there is at least 5 (imo) who are out because they want to be.

Anyone who knowingly takes a child with chicken pox into a doctor's surgery without phoning the practice first to make arrangements is utterly, utterly selfish. There is NO need for it. No GP surgery wants a poxed child hanging around the waiting room, they will make arrangements rather than risk their vulnerable patients.

Everyone who takes a vulnerable person out in public takes the chance that they'll pick up something, that is true. It doesn't mean it's acceptable for people to deliberately enhance that risk because it's more convenient for them.

[MrsBobDylan]

No, there are no excuses suntrapped. Other than not really giving a shit about people who are in exactly the situation that op describes.

[Only1scoop]

YANBU Op at all