to have arrived unannounced?

[ChiantiOnTap]

I'm looking for a nursery for my daughter to start in September. She'll be 2. Me and my husband decided to visit a potential yesterday to look around. We didn't ring ahead as I wanted to see what it was like on an average day (as far as possible).

The nursery refused us entry and specifically stated that we don't have DBS checks (coincidentally we both do as we work with vulnerable people in NHS roles but they weren't to know that). When I queried further they said that the parents of the children would need to be notified of our presence and they couldn't do this now.

AIBU to think that this is batshit? When they take them out to the park or wherever there could be all number of people hanging around without DBS checks. But they're the responsible adults that the parents have trusted to safeguard their children surely?

I wouldn't expect to be left in a room alone with the children btw. Just escorted through, briefly observing whatever happened to be going on at the time.

AIBU? Is this not a thing?

[NerdyBird]

At the nursery dd goes to I think you could just turn up but you may not be let in if the manager was busy or had been called into one of the rooms to cover. They'd probably suggest an appointment, not to hide anything but so they could ensure someone was available and you weren't stomping round the baby room at nap time. That seems reasonable to me.

So I don't think you were totally unreasonable and I do think the mention of DBS is odd. Perhaps the person you spoke to just misunderstood what you wanted to do?

[BollardDodger]

(coincidentally we both do as we work with vulnerable people in NHS roles but they weren't to know that)
So surely in your role too you wouldn't let unannounced people come in to see your vulnerable patients? Visiting times at hospital, or checking the patient knows the visitor etc?

[PuppyMonkey]

With my last (she's ten) all the advice I saw online and in magazines etc positively encouraged parents to make sure they turned up unannounced to tour the nursery they were interested in - as it ensured you saw a true picture of the place. And it was considered a big negative if a nursery refused you, as they clearly must have something to hide.

Maybe times have changed!

[YeahILoveSummer]

YABU. Sorry. You don't just turn up at places and expect to be shown around. They might not have had anyone free to take you around, they might have had activities planned for the kids, it might have been nap time for some of them.

[Brittbugs80]

Starhesrtdiamond. Forgive me. I wasn't aware here was a professional place....

[OddBoots]

I think some people have experience that is a few years out of date, many more early years settings just can't afford to have extra staff, the manger will often be in ratio. There have been big increases in overheads and the funding just doesn't cover anything more than the minimum, even then it only works because of the goodwill of the staff who will buy (out of their near minimum wage) resources themselves.

I think it is different in some day nurseries where the parents pay the fees (but even then there is a limit to how much they can rise) but if it is a setting with only or mainly funded children then times are very tight. Two pre-schools within a 15 minute walk from my house are closing this summer because they just can't afford to run, many others are looking at not accepting 30 hour funding and maybe not even having more than a limited proportion of their children claiming the 15 hour funding.

[StarHeartDiamond]

Britt: "Talk about mass bloody hysteria. Half of you need to give your heads a wobble". That doesn't sound very professional.

[StarHeartDiamond]

Every nursery I've seen has had an appointments system. They can't just accept anyone off the street. Surely you would understand that?

[TheChippendenSpook]

Of course you can drop in unannounced.

[Dangermouse80]

Yabu - appointments should be made in advance.

[HilariousGuitar]

I'm laughing at the idea that they would have to let all parents know every time someone was coming in to visit. That could potentially be every bloody day! I'm keen on safeguarding but I'd be a bit bemused if we got a note home several times a week saying "please be aware a prospective parent will be visiting on x day". What actual use is that information? The nursery won't say "Mr and Mrs Smith of 52 Smith Avenue are coming for a visit on 4th May", because that's bollocks. So it's not like parents will be deciding on the basis of the note whether to send their child in that day. And as I said, depending on a number of factors you could potentially have visits several times every week. The nursery I worked in was on the site of a hospital, we were always busy with children of staff members, and had loads of visits. You couldn't just walk in off the street, there were locked doors and intercoms etc, but making an appointment would be no more guarantee of safety.

[Sirzy]

Great post brittbugs bit of common sense!

[PenelopeFlintstone]

I think YWNBU. It wouldn't have occurred to me that I couldn't turn up to have a look around.

[Brittbugs80]

Talk about mass bloody hysteria. Half of you need to give your heads a wobble. You literally proving you have no clue. No clue whatsoever.

1. Visitors all have to be buzzed in. No nursery door is constantly open. Once in, they have to sign in and leave a contact address and show ID.
   

1. Our nursery you then have to get through a gate which is bolted then a door to babies which is finger entry and 2 to 4 year olds which is finger entry.
   

1. Show rounds are shown the rooms, however they don't go into toilet or nappy changing. They don't go into rooms if children are sleeping.
   

1. They are shown the garden and outside space, even when there are children playing in there would you believe!
   

1. Keywords are not pulled out of ratios to do show rounds, intact, it's Manager or Deputy that do showrounds. Most nurseries do not count these in their ratios.
   

1. If a showround shows up, it's the same procedure. If a pre booked comes, it's the same procedure. We don't phone every single parent and say, "we have a show round coming is that ok?".
   

1. I've looked after "looked after", adopted and foster children and currently have done here. They are usually placed with families at least 1 hour away if they are no contact.
   

1. We get to know parents and families. If someone rocks up claiming to collect a child they say is theirs, we don't let them in, we phone parents and eevturn them away if necessary.
   

So explain again, how letting a walk in compared to someone who is booked, a bigger safeguarding issue?

[Brittbugs80]

You absolutely can stage a nursery. I've worked in one where they would set up activities and engage over ratio with all the children then when the show round finished, the staff would go back to talking amongst themselves, sitting on chairs and not interacting with the children.

I walked out when I watched one of the rooms get no toys out for the children and staff would tell them to frequently go away, stop crying but not offer any comfort.

[MamaHanji]

Yabu to think you can just drop in as you please.

[Sirzy]

I would also be worried about a nursery that has such tight ratios they never have spare staff who could show people around. Doesn't bode well for if something happens unexpectedly during the day! Every nursery I have had contact with has planned for 1 or 2 supernumerary staff members (normally the manager and one other) . Now obviously they may be busy and unable to show people around but the comments about children being left in wet clothes while someone is shown around are just daft!

[liquidrevolution]

Im frankly baffled by the amount of posters that think a nursery setting can be 'staged'. Have you ever tried organising several rooms of under 5s? I would imagine the nursery will be doing exactly what it should be doing at the time you visit and wont be making too much of an effort to impress you.

Turning up without calling first was a bit rude so I suggest you call and ask if you could pop in. Avoid, pickup/dropoff times, mealtimes and naptimes.

The best nurseries will have an or a few extra staff that float and provide sickness and holiday cover but this depends on the size of the nursery. Management tend to do the showing around in my experience as they are more au fait with the finances and numbers/availability. The managment may cover one or several nurseries if it is part of a chain and therefore may not be available to show people round. Hence calling before you turn up.

[Fruitcocktail6]

YAB so very U. And I say that as someone who works in nursery.

Firstly, you need to book an appointment, as is the norm for most things where someone would need to take time to show you around, speak with you etc. I might let someone in if the manager just happened to be available, but I would generally say no. This is not because there is anything bad happening inside, it's just basic common fucking courtesy. And it's not really a place you want people wandering in off the streets either.

[ExConstance]

Nursing homes usually promote the fact that you can go along and have a look around if you are looking for a bed. Someone will show you round but you can be certain that you are seeing the home as it is, not in some tidied up sanitised way.

[AceholeRimmer]

Another thread where people are discounting real life experiences. As you can see from replies, there are many, many nurseries around who allow drop-ins.. So the OP is right to question it.

[MrsJayy]

The Op would not be able to rock up to a child minders house and have a look about I don''t see why nurseries need to be different.

[MrsJayy]

And that is fine if nurseries do that not all nurseries are so relaxed and imo that is fine too those nurseries will have good reason it isn't always because they have something to hide.

[BaronessEllaSaturday]

The nurseries round me are quite small and simply do not have additional staff who would be available to show people round without an appointment. They do have cameras up in the rooms which show on a big screen in reception so no are not hiding anything.