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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if your children can swim? Is it important to you?

314 replies

Lionking1981 · 12/05/2017 23:50

Do you class swimming as important? We spend 100 a month on swimming lessons for our two sometimes leaving us short. My two were swimming with their cousins on holiday recently.My brother pointed out how much we all spent on swimming lessons and remarked none of them are great swimmers. They are 8,7,6 and 5. All in swimming lessons since they were 4. They can swim but we couldnt take our eyes off any one of them such is our confidence in their ability. Me and dbro were left in swimming pools by ourselves for hours from age 9. I have always thought it was essential and budget for it, going without other things.My class teacher told me probably only 50% of their 8 year olds can swim. Do you believe that is right?

OP posts:
FaFoutis · 14/05/2017 16:11

I can swim well and I nearly drowned recently. I'm evidence for Bertrand's point.

CamdenTownie · 14/05/2017 16:23

All of my children have had swimming lessons from three years old until leaving school, I've still got three in lessons at the moment and they'll all also take the lifeguard training before they stop.

I can't swim and feel that I missed out loads growing up, I also have zero water confidence which is horrible.

NataliaOsipova · 14/05/2017 17:46

above riding a bike but not as important as pedestrian road safety

I agree with this. It all depends on your lifestyle as a family, I think. If you're people who have a pool, or like to holiday by a pool or with your kids swimming in the sea, then I can see why it has a high level of importance to you. We don't enjoy (and therefore don't do) those sort of things, so our children probably are as much at risk of, to steal Bertrand's point, being mowed down by a herd of cows. So - while I think it's good for my kids to swim in case they were (statistically very unlikely) to fall into water and in case they do want to study marine biology/take up windsurfing etc, I wouldn't put it in the absolutely essential category.

PortableVirgin · 14/05/2017 18:01

But those are two different things, Camden. I take your point about missing out on stuff as a non-swimming child, absolutely, and actually I think that is a huge part of the reason why there's so much parental emphasis on children learning to swim, only no one is saying that.

Lack of water-confidence as an adult is another thing, but ironically, it may well contribute to you being less likely to put yourself at risk in water. I imagine you're unlikely to swim in open water, assume you could swim across an estuary, or swim when there's a red flag.

HotelEuphoria · 14/05/2017 18:05

I took mine as soon as the council lessons accepted them. They were relatively affordable and they started at 5. Both could swim before school lessons started. DS's technique exceeded DD's but that is because DD just wanted to play at mermaids. She could swim strongly even if her leg's were not perfect.

Absolutely essential.

Bethanie13 · 14/05/2017 18:06

Yes, my son has been going to swimming lessons since he was 13 days old and will continue til he is 5 year old.

Crumbs1 · 14/05/2017 18:07

The thing is statistics only show the actual drowning figures not the people who didn't drown because they can swim confidently.
I suspect an awful lot of near misses (over the side of small boats, unexpectedly deep water, falling in pools) do not become tragedies because people can swim. Fatfoutis - you didn't drown so don't support Bertranda view but the view that swimming saves lives.

BertrandRussell · 14/05/2017 18:41

Well, obviously you don't go into a small boat unless you can swim and are wearing a life jacket.

My point is that being able to float and turn round and climb out if you fall in are pretty important skills. But being able to swim 4X100m in four different strokes is not a "vital life skill" and that is what lots of people are paying a lot of money for because they have bought into the "swimming is essential" mantra. If your children like it and you can easily afford it, then go for it. Otherwise, assess the risk to your particular child in your particular life style and decide whether they need more than basic "waterproofing". And nobody, but nobody, needs to learn butterfly stroke! And if somebody has been teaching your child to do anything once a week for 4 years - or 1 year, or even 6 months- and they have made no discernible progress, then sack them.

treaclesoda · 14/05/2017 18:46

I've posted a few times about my daughter not being able to swim despite years of lessons and I feel like I need to point out that she has had something like 5 different teachers over the years and none of them have been able to teach her to swim. They can't possibly all be incompetent teachers because the vast majority of other children who go through their classes come out as competent swimmers, some of them turn into excellent swimmers. But nevertheless, they have failed to teach my daughter how to swim.

Ffsherewegoagain · 14/05/2017 18:47

My child will never be able to swim. Or ride a bike.

There is lots of stuff they can still do and I hate this attitude that I have somehow failed them by not teaching them an essential life skill.

It's not as if I wouldn't have tried if it had been possible. They will never be able to do it.

2rebecca · 14/05/2017 18:51

Yes and yes. Swimming lessons and regularly took them swimming until they were all proficient and happy diving for stuff on the bottom of the pool etc.
I see it as essential parenting, like teaching them to ride a bike. I have a friend who can't swim or cycle because she was they youngest of a large family and her parents couldn't be bothered by the time they got to her. She still resents them for this.

Ffsherewegoagain · 14/05/2017 18:52

2rebecca. How do you think that makes me feel? The two examples of essential parenting you have I have failed at.

😰

wordlemcfuddle · 14/05/2017 18:54

Yes but you are spending a lot of money! By me prices range from £5- £20 a lesson. We started at the £18 Puddleducks / waterbabies rubbish. We now got to a £5 a lesson taught by proper swimmers. The difference in price and approach is startling. Look for a better and cheaper class!

BertrandRussell · 14/05/2017 18:55

"have a friend who can't swim or cycle because she was they youngest of a large family and her parents couldn't be bothered by the time they got to her. She still resents them for this."

Anything in particular stopping her from learning now?

myst · 14/05/2017 18:56

Yes. Very important skill. I told my eldest he could stop when he could swim 1500m which he did at 12 but he likes it so much is doing rookie lifeguard now.
Also, brilliant exercise

2rebecca · 14/05/2017 18:59

If you have a disabled child who is not physically capable of swimming or cycling then of course you don't teach them Ffsherewegoagain. You seem to be just looking for something to get offended and upset about here.
I agree the friend who wasn't taught to cycle and swim could have taken herself to lessons when she got older. She just felt it was unfair her sibs got taught to do these and she didn't.

BertrandRussell · 14/05/2017 18:59

What is so vital about being able to swim 1500m?

Ffsherewegoagain · 14/05/2017 19:00

I don't understand why it is vital to be able to swim and to ride a bike.

treaclesoda · 14/05/2017 19:01

Shock I think I could count on one hand the number of people I have ever known who could swim 1500m! Possibly even on one finger...

Starsandwishes · 14/05/2017 19:03

I think it's important. We are lucky that my childrens school has a swimming pool they get to swim right from year 1 to year 5. Year 6 Dont go.

bonbonours · 14/05/2017 19:03

Mine are 6, 9 and 10. They have never had swimming lessons apart from one 6 week course per year with school, but I do take them swimming for fun a fair bit (not every week by any means though).

The oldest is now confident to swim to the extent of going on the inflatables at the pool,. jumping in the deep end etc, can swim several lengths. The middle one can swim 25 metres but not strongly and I wouldn't let her be in a deep pool without my supervision. The youngest can just about swim 5 metres.

I do think people are being over the top with the "it's an essential life skill"thing. The possibilities of falling into deep water are extremely remote for most people most of the time, and I wouldn't let my kids be around deep water unsupervised. I live in a seaside area too. My kids know never to go out of their depth in the sea, plus I always go in the water with them. Judging by by oldest, it is perfectly possible to be confident enough to swim with friends in pools by teenagehood without spending an arm and a leg on lessons.

I know loads of people who have been shelling out on lessons for years and their kids still can't really swim. Personally I think it's better to just take them swimming and let them enjoy the water. The most confidence my 9 year old ever gained in water was during a week's holiday in Centerparks, swimming for 3 hours every day. By contrast, she previously went on an 'intensive swimming course' for a week and did not improve at all because even though she could swim 25 metres, they put her in the baby group because she wouldn't put her face in the water. Centerparks sorted that one out. My point is, swimming for fun and playing in the pool is probably more valuable, less expensive and more enjoyable than swimming lessons.

FaFoutis · 14/05/2017 19:05

I didn't not die from drowning because of my swimming skills. I got rescued - I was dragged out with no feeling in my legs and arms.
It was very cold water, I could not move at all.
I could have been a gold medal swimmer and without the rescuers I would have died.

myst · 14/05/2017 19:06

The 1500 distance for me was the top swimming badge and meant that they were proficient in all the strokes although I still don't see the point of butterfly

FaFoutis · 14/05/2017 19:07

I agree with you bonbon, centreparcs was what got my dc swimming. Very cheap in Europe out of school holidays too.

CountFosco · 14/05/2017 19:09

My eldest 2 can swim (8&9) but the 4 year old can't yet. When my eldest had swimming lessons at school (she had already completed all the ASA swimming levels and was in the swimming club swimming 3h a week) at 8 about half the class couldn't swim.