To think this is not normal "play"?

[EachToTheirBone]

DS is 7 ; we've just had his friend around for the morning - the same age.

Frankly I'm exhausted from sorting out their squabbles.

DS and his friend are good friends but this is the first time they've actually been at my home together.

They spent a long time setting up DS knights and warriors etc . All going well .

When it was actually time to play with them - ie. DS wanted to move the knights in to battle , his friend became very annoyed and insisted they can't be moved

He also wouldn't let DS move any of the arms / legs of the figures and became quite annoyed when DS insisted he wanted to play and move them.

There was no compromise at all and DS obviously became quite frustrated.

The boy eventually agreed to have his share of the figures static and DS was allowed to move his figures but there were so many rules about what could and couldn't be done , even I was exasperated!

This boy is lovely and polite but I'm a bit shocked at this .

My DS is any only child but I don't think this kind of "play" is normal.

I did mention to his mum that he became a little bit upset when playing but was generally ok and she didn't seem surprised but also didn't say anything

I'd love to have him back to play but I think we will leave the knights in the box !

[5moreminutes]

I agree with Lowdoor - my youngest (of 3) is only just 6 and I don't supervise play nor expect squabbling. Siblings squabble sometimes, but friends over to play don't, and anyone hard work is never invited back. If a parent told me about a specific/ special need I'd go out of my way to accommodate, but as nobody ever has I expect friends over the age of 4 over will mean my kids entertain themselves with very little input from me, and having friends over (which we do most days) makes my life easier not harder.

[ShowMePotatoSalad]

Normal. One child doesn't think the figures should be moved, other child does. Children at that age tend to create very unreasonable "rules" during games. It's about being in control and being the "boss".

[Lowdoorinthewal1]

Luckily in a few years you can just chuck them onto the street or shut them in a bedroom and throw biscuits in every so often.

You can very definitely do this at 7. Or in the garden if the street is not safe.

My DS is 6 and I never say two words to him and his friends when they are playing. I feed them if they are staying for tea, that is it. I have no idea why adults would be joining in with 7 year olds (unless there are social communication issues that need some support).

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Less squabbles in my experience as they get older as compromise is reached easier. Kids become more resilient, less tired and more open to the others wants. As Trifle said it's a learned skill. Dd is almost 9 and in yr4. She holes up in her bedroom or disappears down the garden with friends. She sometimes does fight with one of her male friends as they are so different in what they like to do but it's rare and these days they will sacrifice what the other wants to do and swap.

[EffinElle]

Control freak!
My DC with autism has to be in control of games and has melt downs if others don't follow the rules.

[Sisinisawa]

It's normal for my 7yo but she is autistic. I wouldn't think it was neurotypical behaviour personally. Her friends don't play like that.

[neveradullmoment99]

Its all normal. I have 3 and they all squabble constantly.

[user1andonly]

My DS was like yours, used to spend hours setting up his knights, soldiers and pirates and then have epic battles

I gave him all my old lego and was quietly gutted when he played the same way with it and ended up losing loads of it. I used to have a lego town set up on my bedroom floor and keep it perfect - play for me would be (carefully) breaking a set up and building it again and moving the buildings around in my town! Similar with my Sindy house.

If this lad comes again, you could suggest to your DS that they do the set up and then go do something else and he can have an epic battle once the friend has gone home

It is very frustrating when you and a friend have such different ideas though!

[VintagePerfumista]

Very very normal at that age, especially when other people's houses are concerned.

I remember back in the hellish days of having to supervise play that I'd be thinking a) why the fuck do I do this? b) this is a total disaster and this child will go home saying mine is evil

Often the host child tries to boss the visitor child round at that age as well. My only child (for the anecdotal record ) was frequently bullied to the point of being thumped by her (non only child) "best" friend who would simply refuse to play at all when they were at her house (there would be the "you can't touch that it's mine" or "you can only play with these things" traumas)

Luckily in a few years you can just chuck them onto the street or shut them in a bedroom and throw biscuits in every so often.

[keeplooking]

Maybe he gets frustrated at home when he sets things up, and his younger sibling comes along and messes about with it, as younger siblings often do, so he wanted everything to 'stay put' for a bit?

[MummyBearToTeddy]

I think it's just different ways of doing things. As a child I liked sorting the lego into colours and order but not much interest in playing with it. My DS however likes to build intricate cars and towers and couldn't care less about keeping them in order. My DB used to play where he would line all his cars up in a "traffic jam" and that was the entire game!

Maybe try something else if he comes round again and like you say keep the knights in the box.

[Trifleorbust]

Definitely normal. He was trying to achieve something. Kids don't compromise naturally - it is a learned skill.

[StrawberryMouse]

My ds was quite highly strung at that age and would have fairly ott emotional reactions to things he didn't like. Luckily it was just a phase and he grew out of it after a while. Some children are just a bit more sensitive I think.

[BackforGood]

It's just different ways of playing, as others have said.

[Lowdoorinthewal1]

You are not planning what they are doing are you?? They are 7, surely you just let them get on with it?

[LucyFuckingPevensie]

Maybe he is just having a bad day. My dts have been stroppy emotional at times as have their friends. Doesn't mean they're always like it.

[WorraLiberty]

I think you're overthinking it!

Catch him on another day and he may be completely different.

[Yika]

NB not saying I wish playdates weren't different sometimes... We persevere though...

[Yika]

Quite normal here - my DD can end up getting fixated on doing things her way at playdates and is very sensitive to anything that might seem unfair. I manage our playdates fairly carefully as a result - if things seem to be going awry when children left to their own devices, I change the activity (and often get involved myself) - e.g. set up an outdoor activity activity, do a craft with them, play a board game, move on to snack time ... Some children are more flexible than others I guess.

[AmysTiara]

I think it's pretty normal. Plenty of kids spend ages setting things up and don't want it getting ruined

[EachToTheirBone]

It seems that it's normal then - I'll just get the pens and paper out next time

[CassandraAusten]

I find the same with lego, OP. Some children want to build things and then play with them; for others, the building is in itself the game. Both are normal, just different. As Jilted said, if they're getting frustrated I would suggest a change of game, maybe something physical instead.

[popperdoodles]

'play' isn't instinctive for all children and some enjoy using toys in different ways. For my youngest dc it was all about sorting out the figures and setting up an intricate scene with his playmobil for example. He would rarely act out a long scene but could spend all day getting it all just right.

[EachToTheirBone]

Not an only child - he has a younger brother .

It was the intensity of his annoyance I was shocked at - he was really upset !

[cochineal7]

I used to set up, elaborately, and my brother would then play with it. Worked for us for years.