To think DS needs to revise on holiday?

[JustinAndrew]

We go away in a few days (to Spain) and most of it will be spent relaxing. Exams are pretty much on his doorstep as soon as he is back. AIBU to think he should be doing some revision while on holiday?

[Manijo]

We have always had our two revising whilst on holiday and will again when we're in Spain next week. That's why we get apartments. They will revise together for a couple of hours every morning and any other free in between us doing stuff. They have never complained about it

[Wolfiefan]

I did go on holiday during a level time. (Dad working abroad so only chance to see him). I did actually get revision done.
The issue is it is retakes. You can't make him revise. He's an adult. But I would be having a frank conversation about what happens if he fails this time round.

[AliMonkey]

My DC not at that stage yet but going back to the many years of exams I had (school, uni and professional exams), I revised much better by eg revising for a few hours in the morning knowing I had something fun planned in the afternoon. If you have a whole day of revising ahead, you are much more likely to procrastinate and get no more done than a few hours of actually concentrating. I went on holiday on a canal boat with a dozen friends (older/younger/not sitting exams) just before my A levels and did a strict two hours revision each day. Came out with 3 As so didn't do me any harm.

A short holiday with a bit of revision seems a much better idea than a friend of mine who insisted her DD revised all day every day during Easter holidays which just made the DD stressed and bored (and rest of family who weren't allowed to do anything fun either!)

[Ameliablue]

Yabu to take him on holiday and expect him to revise

[Etaina]

YANBU to expect him to do some revision on holiday. Just an hour in the morning and another one in the evening is better than nothing, but he could probably find a couple more hours in the day. He can break it up a bit through the day so it doesn't feel too onerous.

I took my DCs away over the Easter holidays before their GCSEs and AS levels. In some ways, I think the rest probably did them good as they'd been revising at school before the holidays and had a month or so after Easter to revise.

[Daydream007]

Of course he must study, he has exams as soon as he gets back. If they are GCSE's or A levels I'm surprised you have booked a holiday just before his exams.

[SoupDragon]

Is this "research" for an article?

[SuperBeagle]

It's a bit shit of you to book a "relaxing" holiday when you expect your DS to be doing everything but relaxing.

He's old enough to manage his own time, also. If he wants to revise, he can. If he doesn't, that's his choice. It fucked me right off when I was in Year 12 and people were still banging on at me about studying. If I hadn't figured time management out by then, the nagging was too late anyway.

[thisagain]

I remember my sister moaning about going away at Easter when she needed to revise and my mum replying "you can revise on the beach!" . Consequently we have never taken our kids away before big exams.

[Ragwort]

It's a retake year - of course he should be revising.

I can't understand why you are taking a 21 and 18 year old on holiday anyway - talk about snowflake generation, I wouldn't have dreamed of going on holiday with my parents after age 12/13.

[Phineyj]

I would say being able to revise for a few hours on holiday is the very definition of someone genuinely academic (not just doing it because mum says). I agree with other posters - it can be easier to revise away from normal distractions.

[thethoughtfox]

Another vote for you shouldn't have booked the holiday. That's just cruel. It could have been a reward and a chance to relax after the exams.

[MargaretCavendish]

I can't understand why you are taking a 21 and 18 year old on holiday anyway - talk about snowflake generation, I wouldn't have dreamed of going on holiday with my parents after age 12/13.

It's a shame that you have such a difficult relationship with your parents, but I don't see why it means that OP shouldn't have a happy and healthy one?

[arbrighton]

He's an adult at 18, it's his decision....

If you've said it's up to him, what's the point of asking here?

But, a few days out to recharge might not be a bad thing either. Lots of teenagers do burn out and it's still a good number of weeks after the holidays before exams

[KoalaDownUnder]

Seriously - the OP shouldn't go on holiday because an 18-year-old has exams?! That's ridiculous.

The 18-year-old can make his own decisions about if/when/where to revise.

[AtSea1979]

I agree koala but then again his parent is asking on here so he's not making his own decisions.
I would not be taking away an 18 yo if I wanted him to revise but it doesn't sound like he'd revise if you left him at home either.
Why is he doing A levels? If he's struggling at AS level and doesn't want to revise it sounds like A-levels (and uni) are not for him.

[Hulababy]

Ragwort - 15y Dd loves holidays and would hate to stay home whilst we went away. We have a great relationship and enjoy each other's company. Nothing to do with snowflakes etc. It's just part of normal family life and I for one am happy that Dd likes to spend time with us.

We are currently planning a summer holiday to Canada and Florida which Dd is involved in planning, we fly to Portugal tomorrow, we went to Disney in February and we have just booked to go to Spain in October. All with Dd. And she already had made suggestions for next summer. I can't see her not wanting to come away with us when we choose holidays she will enjoy and we are paying! Why wouldn't she want to come abroad on holiday with us?!

As for holidays before exams - if GCSE and A levels then I wouldn't be going at Easter personally. It's nigh on impossible to focus on revision when on holiday and the sun is shining outside. We already have decided they'll be no Easter and May half term holiday next year for any of us - Dd to revise and us to support.

[Ragwort]

It's a shame that you have such a difficult relationship with your parents, but I don't see why it means that OP shouldn't have a happy and healthy one.

Actually I do now go on holiday with my parents - I am nearly 60 and they are in their 80s but my point is that I feel that teenagers (and I have one of my own) should be off doing their own thing on holiday - certainly that's what I did when I was younger, it was all about wanting your own independence. I wonder if so many teenagers and young adults would choose to go on holiday with their parents if they had to pay for themselves .

Anyway, that is getting away from the discussion about revision.

[SuperBeagle]

but my point is that I feel that teenagers (and I have one of my own) should be off doing their own thing on holiday

Sure, but what teenager in 2017 can afford to do that?

[Ragwort]

Hulababy - 15 is a bit different to 18/21 though isn't it?

i do appreciate all families are different but I have friends who seem so desperate to 'cling on' to their children that they are still paying for their holidays when they are late 20s - one of my friends actually admits that she hates the thought of just her and DH holidaying alone as they have nothing to talk about to each other .

Personally I do not see the 'fun' in taking teenagers on holiday but then perhaps I have a difficult teenager .

[MargaretCavendish]

my point is that I feel that teenagers (and I have one of my own) should be off doing their own thing on holiday - certainly that's what I did when I was younger, it was all about wanting your own independence.

Why would it be either/or? I started going away with friends (for a few days, in the UK) when I was 16 (would anyone really think it was a good idea for a group of 14 year olds to be holidaying alone? How many accommodation providers would even accept a group of unaccompanied minors?), but carried on going away with my family into my twenties. They were very different, but I enjoyed both and I don't think it stunted my independence... To be honest, I think I'd have been pretty upset if my parents had told me at 15 that I was 'too old' to come on holiday with them.

[WineAndTiramisu]

Ragwort

It's a retake year hmm - of course he should be revising.

I can't understand why you are taking a 21 and 18 year old on holiday anyway - talk about snowflake generation, I wouldn't have dreamed of going on holiday with my parents after age 12/13.

I find that quite sad really... I'm 33 and still go away with my parents occasionally, and certainly did every time as a teenager. We get on very well and have fun! Think it says more about your family then the OP's really.

[Hulababy]

Ragwort - your post states from 12/13y

[Hulababy]

And many teenagers do both - holiday with parents and holiday with friends. In our case also throw in a holiday or two with friends as well. No doubt in 2/3 years time Dd will do a holiday without us and with friends as well; knowing Dd she is also likely to want to come away with us as well as she does love her holidays and we will be likely going to places she and her friends probably couldn't afford on their own - so best of both worlds: two or more holidays, but with two different groups of people.

So yes 15 is different to 18/21 but as your post actually says you wouldn't have dreamt of going on holiday with parents from 12/13 it was relevant. And personally I find that though quite sad.

I know several older teens who still enjoy holidays with their parents but also enjoy a holiday with their own friends too.

[Hulababy]

And me and dh have plenty to chat about when without Dd, we manage just fine - more than fine. By we will also be happy to have Dd come in holiday with us when she is a student too and yes, we will offer to pay.

Chances are many older teens wouldn't holiday with parents if they had to pay as they have limited money and resources - so it would be one or the other. Given the choose of both and one being paid for many jump At the chance and why wouldn't they if they enjoy spending time with heir family?