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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'you fucking horrible child ! i fucking hate you!'

77 replies

pipsqueak25 · 27/03/2017 19:12

am at dm's and just heard this screamed by neighbour to his young dd, mum not at home, dd wailing in her room, doors slaming etc, dm is worried but unsure what to do usual thing apparently, child is well dressed and cared for, father is a gobby little shit, what would you do ?

OP posts:
KERALA1 · 27/03/2017 20:11

Awful.

We witnessed one "mother" shouting "come ere you little shit stop runnin off"

Dh muttered "run kid as fast as you can might be your only chance"

Badhairday1001 · 27/03/2017 20:14

NSPCC

yaela123 · 27/03/2017 20:18

I agree with NSPCC

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 27/03/2017 20:21

I would go round. Probably wall him up. Grin

That poor, poor child. She'll grow up talking to her kids like that one day, and probably pick men who treat her that way as well, as that's what she'll think men are supposed to be like Sad.

My worry is that, if he talks to her that way when other people can hear, what goes on behind closed doors when there are no witnesses...

BeachysSnowyWellieBoots · 27/03/2017 20:22

I called the NSPCC on a neighbour who was really not coping with twins. They contacted the Health Visitor who went in and arranged for some extra help. It was all confidential....

Katie0705 · 27/03/2017 20:23

That is emotional abuse. Definitely report. Phone the police and ask to be put through to the on call Safeguarding team. They can make a referral to SS. This route might be more efficient than going to SS first, as the police will investigate.

Definitely do not go to the house, but report whatever you do

Elendon · 27/03/2017 20:29

Please knock on the door and ask if the person can smell gas. Just do it. Knock on the door and speak to him. Let him know you. If you don't do this and are afraid then think about the fear that child has living in the same house as him.

BonnyScotland · 27/03/2017 20:35

Report it to Social Services ...

Papafran · 27/03/2017 20:37

You need to report it directly as the school won't really be able to do anything as it's hearsay

Sorry, but this is shit. Do you think the school only acts when they are told directly by either the child or the parents? They can report to SS if they think she is at risk.

Please knock on the door and ask if the person can smell gas. Just do it. Knock on the door and speak to him. Let him know you. If you don't do this and are afraid then think about the fear that child has living in the same house as him

Maybe not the best idea to advise someone to go round to speak to a potentially violent thug.

It's sad but a lot of people speak to and treat their kids like shit. Not sure whether SS will do anything to be honest, especially if no physical violence, but at least it might scare the shit out of him.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 27/03/2017 20:39

Child is well dressed.

What's that got to do with anything.

I'd have no qualms reporting him at all.
Poor child.

WombOfOnesOwn · 27/03/2017 20:40

This was also me as a child (but it was my mother perpetuating the abuse). Please call the police. Someone called twice during my childhood, and even though they didn't take me out of my home (and, indeed, my mother became WORSE afterward for a time), for me it was huge to realize that other people didn't think her behavior was normal or okay, and that someone, even a stranger, might be on "my side." I know that may sound pathetic, but I felt so alone back then.

Maudlinmaud · 27/03/2017 20:40

Social services do take emotional abuse very seriously. Please report.

user1484578224 · 27/03/2017 20:44

agree this is an awful way to speak to a child but fear it is very common.

Elendon · 27/03/2017 20:46

a potentially violent thug

But it's okay to leave that thug with a child?

Go to the house. The child will know you know. It will help them. I know it's upsetting to hear but you know now and need to act.

21jumpstreet · 27/03/2017 20:53

Please call 101. The Police will do a welfare check and will have to complete the safeguarding referral to SS. Poor child 🙁

SpookyPotato · 27/03/2017 20:54

I witness stuff like this when out and about and it's awful. Shouting, swearing and being aggressive to little kids... Always a certain type of person who does it. Then when I see teenagers waiting at the bus stop outside kicking/punching the glass and shouting for no reason it all makes sense.. The cycle goes on Sad

user1484578224 · 27/03/2017 20:58

I'm not entirely sure about the certain type of person theory.

Dawndonnaagain · 27/03/2017 21:00

Please ring social services. If someone had rung for me my life would have been so much easier. I'm 58 now and have never forgotten the things she called me.

CrochetBelle · 27/03/2017 21:08

Please report it to someone. I have been begging Social Services for help for months, and somehow it took a report from Police following abuse from their father for anyone to actually even contact us.

Happyandhungry · 27/03/2017 21:12

They won't do anything whoever you report it too. Its 1 comment you've heard for otherwise seemingly well looked after children? Literally no department will do anything including police etc.

Birdsgottaf1y · 27/03/2017 21:13

""Why ring the school ?
Ring the duty team now and report it""

It would be rare for this to be acted on by SS or the Police, speaking as an ex CP SW.

The School can and probably would act.They'll speak to the child, during the day and a School can implement upto a Level 2 CP plan.

If the family are known, then it will be flagged up by the school.

ThePiglet59 · 27/03/2017 21:13

What will the police or the NSPCC do?
Lots of people say that they hate their children at some point when they reach the end of their tether.
This bloke is obviously inarticulate and probably uses language like this all of the time.
Not nice, but I doubt that the police will charge him with telling his kid that he hates her.

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 27/03/2017 21:13

My neighbour across the street where I used to live had a different 'boyfriend' around every day. Then she'd call the police to throw him out. The cops were there at least twice every week. I vividly remember one day, in the middle of winter and in the pouring rain, her DCs had been sent to the park at the end of the road so she could 'entertain'. They were around 3 and 5 yo. After a few hours they went home and knocked on the door, soaked and freezing. She shouted at them through the bedroom window to 'fuck off'. Hard to believe, but there really are people like this out there.

olderthanyouthink · 27/03/2017 21:13

Please contact SS.
I've been that kid. Hoping that the neighbours / passers by would do something because even when I was little I knew people could hear them shouting and me screaming and crying. Nobody did. Sad

refusetobeasheep · 27/03/2017 21:19

I doubt police will do much at this stage. But you can report to SS. I know in my area they ask you to do the reporting online (even if you call). But at least then you start the paper trail so cannot be ignored ..... that kid needs someone making waves on her behalf.