childcare for labour- Aibu to be upset?

[hibbledobble]

Dc3 is due imminently.

Sadly both sets of grandparents have booked holidays around my due date. Either side of it, but it means at least one set will miss the birth. They booked these while I was pregnant, and had been told the due date (but apparently they 'forgot').

I'm worried that if I can't reach the set who are still here, what I'm going to do. I don't really have any friends I can ask, apart from one, who has kindly agreed but has her own dc.

I'm worried as dc2 labour was quick, so we will need to get to the hospital quickly. For various reasons a home birth is not an option.

[QueenInsomnia]

OP I understand what you mean. I'm only in my second trimester, but we live a good hour from family and friends (which makes it hard to rely on them), so it makes me anxious about the birth. With our DS his labour was very quick, but also traumatic. I think I've now just accepted that it's likely I'll be going through labour alone this time around, as between DH dropping off our DS to family or friends, and him returning to the hospital, the baby would have arrived! Still it's even possible they may not be available to have DS, and my DH will have to wait with him in the hospital, or at home, until I've had the baby. DS is only 2. Mentally prepare yourself incase this happens to you, and I wish you all the best

[hibbledobble]

queen Thank you for reassuring me.

I did it previously with dc1 (long story), it's not something I want to repeat personally, but I realise everyone's experience is different.

[QueenOfTheCatBastards]

hibble don't discount labouring alone. I was concerned about it, but it was the best decision I made. Being able to concentrate on Labour without distraction was wonderful.

[hibbledobble]

unknown I answered that only a few posts ago, and that's because the first thread didn't get a single response. I asked for it to be deleted, but have had no reply from mnhq.

[Fairybella]

No one should have to labour alone if they don't want that.
Op I hope it works out for you.

[HiMyNameIsUnknown]

OP why have you started a second thread on this?

[haveacupoftea]

YABU.

[Euripidesralph]

OP I do genuinely get the anxiety but honestly you are being a bit precious

There is an element of course it would be nice if GP were around but you do kind of seem to be panicking unnecessarily about people being uncontactanle...you have back up options and the liklihood of all of your options being uncontactanle at exactly the same time is really very unlikely

I also think you perhaps are not appreciating you actually don have options ....it's not your issue but I admit I find it a bit hard to take as I suspect other posters may , i really did have no option at all , I developed hellp syndrome and at one point whilst I was in icu and ds2 was in special care exdh had to leave the hospital to pick up ds1 from nursery as we hado no childcare outside of normal hours so if ds2 had arrived outside of 6pm I'd have been doing it on my own

Yes the thought was crap , as was waking up on my own and knowing we were on our own

I'm just suggesting rather than get anxious perhaps appreciate you actually do have childcare and back up childcare ....it really could be so much worse

However we all get a bit unreasonable when pregnant ....easy to lose perspective (god knows I did)

[hibbledobble]

silly I addressed that in a previous post.

He can look after the dc, but I obviously don't want to labour alone.

[SillyMoomin]

You still haven't addressed the hundreds of previous posters asking where your partner is op

Why can't he look after your DC??!

[hibbledobble]

bona Thank you for that ever so helpful response

If you had rtft you would have realised that I have acknowledged it doesn't.

I should probably stop posting on this as it seems people are very quick to criticise, without even bothering to rtft.

[Bonadrag1988]

Believe it or not the entire world doesn't revolve around your family planning.

[hibbledobble]

A really varied bunch of replies.

I suppose being pregnant and due any day now, I am being unreasonable to a certain extent.

As another poster pointed out, it depends on your previous relationship, how one might interpret this. The grandparents live locally and often see the children, and also provide childcare, something that I am grateful for. We have a good relationship, and them 'forgetting ' when this baby is due and going on holiday abroad is out of character.

I haven't complained about the gp, so other people's posts complaining about mils etc have no bearing!

Genuinely I only posted this for reassurance, having initially posted in childbirth and not got a single reply. I didn't expect such bile from certain posters though, and think that was unnecessary.

[TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder]

Yes I agree, but saying her post is "a bit annoying" isn't really rude or nasty, is it?

I didn't say it was.

[KateDaniels2]

It's completely ridiculous not to offer support to your family

They have offered help. One set of gp will be available. She seem to want both sets to be available. How long does she wxoect everyone to not do anything just in case she goes into labour.

She has childcare planned and a back up. Why does it matter if only 1 set will around. Why does it need to be both?

How many plans does she need? How many people have to all stay plan free?

[prettywhiteguitar]

Complaining about gp is usually about those with no boundaries

[prettywhiteguitar]

That maybe true but surely you would wonder why out of all of the year to go on holiday you would go when your grandchild will be born. It looks uncaring and is so.

[PigletWasPoohsFriend]

Bloody hell don't dare ask gp's to do anything on mumsnet shock

Actually it's usually thread after thread complaint about what GPs do.

It's completely ridiculous not to offer support to your family. Only on mumsnet must you never ask anyone, especially gp for help

At least one set will be there plus others. What actually more is needed? The entire family?

[prettywhiteguitar]

Bloody hell don't dare ask gp's to do anything on mumsnet

It's completely ridiculous not to offer support to your family. Only on mumsnet must you never ask anyone, especially gp for help !!

[KateDaniels2]

Op has one set of gp and a friend as plans for childcare and i assume a partner.

I dont see the issue. How many plans alternative plans does she need?

[Farandole]

Yes I agree, but saying her post is "a bit annoying" isn't really rude or nasty, is it?

[TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder]

Totally agree, farandole. There's nothing wrong with a reality check. But that's not the same as being rude or nasty.

[Farandole]

Bluebird, I think there is nothing wrong with giving the OP a reality check here. She has at least one SET of GPs, plus her DH, plus one friend available to help around the birth. That's five adults for three children. And that's before she has even considered paid childcare options. Is she expecting an actual village?

[TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder]

Zebra maybe there's a back story with the partner. No mention of him. But if he is around, then ideally he should be with OP. It's probably not about his ability to parent his children. It's more about an inability to split himself in two and be with the DC and with OP. It's not exactly ideal to do it by yourself. Presumably if there's no other option then that's just what will have to happen.

I just don't think it's awful to expect to be your parents' priority for one day when you give birth. It's one day (or two or three or however many children you have) out of their whole lives to provide some support and be excited and all the rest of it. Is it really so dreadful to want that?

[blaeberry]

Oops. Muddled this with a previous similar thread. I do think GP should help but if between them you are covered for childcare then I can't see the problem,