DP and I met last spring. He had just completed his PhD and we were both looking for jobs. I secured a job in London and we both agreed to move there, as 99% of the jobs in his field are there too.
We chose a place to live together, which would be tight on my salary but affordable on two - I agreed to foot all the bills until he found a job. He was happy to do any kind of work until he found a permenant position in his area.
Skip forward 7 months and he'd only just found a job, it is in his field but a starter job. Fine. I was getting twitchy towards the end of the 7 months as my salary was not covering all our expenses, so we were using my credit card to cover the shortfall.
DP claims he was searching hard for any job, but long story short I'm not sure how hard he tried as there were a lot of jobs available, and he hadn't applied to any.
He stayed at home and did the laundry and cooked some meals. We had a cleaner (inc in cost of our rent).
We did not live beyond our means.
Two weeks into him starting his job, I get made redundant. Literally the same day, he then says he no longer loves me and that I've been selfish the past 7 months for abandoning him at home and not supporting him emotionally.
I could go on about the emotional stuff, but tbh I'm broken.
He had previously been expecting to contribute towards paying off the "joint debt" on my credit card as well as a % of the expenses, once he had a job.
Now he has dumped me. I believe he thinks its fair to pay for his % of expenses since he got a job, plus half the debt. Basically what he would pay if we were still together.
My friends and family say he should now have to pay me back for half of ALL the rent and bills since we moved to London, as I paid them in good faith on the relationship.
AIBU to ask for him to pay me back his share of the rent from the last 7 months? He lived off my salary completely.
AIBU?
to ask DP to pay half?
RentANDBills · 08/03/2017 11:34
I can see where you're coming from by wanting him to pay back half of what you've shelled out for since you moved in together. I get the impression that's what you'd feel obliged to do if you were in his shoes and I'm inclined to agree with you; it is somehow the morally right thing to do. In reality, I don't think he will agree to it as he sounds like a dickhead to have just upped and checked out of the relationship the way he did.
I've been in a similar situation with an ex , as has my good friend. We both spent a lot of time and emotional energy dwelling on it and hoping the person owing money would come through and cough up, in neither cases did it happen. Please don't see it as a reflection on your character, genorosity is a lovely quality to have in a relationship, you just need to make sure it's with the right person.
I would start making a list of all the possible bills and expenses your name might possibly appear on. Get it in writing from the companies and letting agents that your name and liability has been removed from everything. Ask him what he can pay now towards the credit card debt and take whatever you can get, I would encourage a lump sum rather than a regular small payment. He sounds pretty fickle and I wouldn't take his word that he'll keep contributing to the debt over any period of time.
I'm sorry he treated you so badly, I hope things improve for you soon 
Poor you, this is definitely the hard bit. Later you'll get to being angry and in some way that's easier to deal with. Get the money, then delete the toerag from your life.
When he's out of your life and you have as much as he will repay, please send his parents copies of all the bills etc that you have paid over the past seven months, and remind them how proud they should be to have raised such an accomplished cocklodger.
I think sending them a congratulations card may even be in order - not sure if Hallmark do one. If not, I see a niche in the market . . . 
Don't forget everyone that I'm going to die alone
You will NOT die alone - you will have 50 cats, remember?
And it is very important for you to get good nutrition, because if they have to eat you you need to be fresh and juicy!
Rent
You are managing to keep a (black) sense humour - there is hope for you yet. You are bound to be in a very bad place. You have lost your income, you have lost your boyfriend, you have lost your home, you have lost the future you expected the two of you to have together, you have lost a lot of cash (even if he pays his half) and you have lost your self-confidence. The hard work you put in over the last seven months has led to you being worse off then at the start and it's horrible!
This is a BEREAVEMENT - treat it like one. Expect to go through anger, grief, apathy, exhaustion and many, many fluctuating emotions. It will take time, but you WILL get through this. You will emerge stronger, wiser and with the realisation that you have had a lucky escape - as a PP said - what if you were a wedding and three kids down the line. As it is you have family support and only yourself to worry about. Cosset yourself, let other people look after you as much as you can (I bet your parents are ready to tear out his miserable throat with their teeth - I would be if someone did this to my daughter) and give yourself as much time as you need.
And remember, because this bit is VERY important.
IT'S NOT YOU - IT'S HIM!!!
He's broken your heart for purely selfish reasons and he's a tw*t.
Stop putting yourself down!! Ahh bless, poor thing, no spending money. Just a free home, food, gym pass, fucking gym pass. 
. It sounds as though he had you well trained and acted on his every whim.
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