to ask for your suggestions to getting car share passenger to change?

[winobaglady]

I drive, she doesn't. We have small car share pool, I know one of the other drivers gets annoyed by this behaviour but they are more hard line.

Car share partner (let's call her Lisa) is always late when collecting in the morning. If told she will be collected at 0710, she comes out of her house at 0713/0714. Ok, only a couple of minutes, but we then go on to collect others, meaning they are waiting for collection. Also, it's the time of day when even 5 or 10 minutes delay at the start of the 30 minute journey might mean getting caught in traffic at the other end for up to 20 additional mins.

Other driver has once waited 2 mins, then gone to pick up others then returned to collect Lisa. Doesn't seem to have changed behaviour.

Also, there's no point collecting others first, as they live en route, so doing that would entail doubling back.

I'd just like her to manage to get out on time in the morning. I've said gentle things like "Oh I was about to phone to check you were coming", but she usually says things like "my bra fastening got stuck in my hair" and "I couldn't fine the shoes I wanted".
She does contribute to petrol

Apologies, long post.

[WhatchaMaCalllit]

Have you made any progress OP on this? Is your car share on time now?

[BigGreenOlives]

I had this with a school run, gave them a final warning & they were late. Just rang the mum & said it was no longer working for me.

[dowhatnow]

If you are really wimpy then talk to the others to let them know you are sending a general reminder to everyone that they must be on time or the lift will continue without them, but that it isn't aimed at them. They will know what you are doing...

But better to get your big girl pants on and tell her that she should be waiting when you pull up or you will continue driving straight on.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

I agree with everyone who has said you need to tell her she must be ready, waiting for you at her door, at 7.10, and if she isn't ready, you will be going without her!

[melj1213]

I'd speak to her - remind her that her pick up time is 7:10 which means she needs to be curbside at 7:10 (or if it's bad weather/she doesn't want to stand on the street corner she's waiting inside with coat on ready to walk out, lock door and straight over to car when she sees you pulling up) not finishing her morning routine. You need to tell her that her lateness, even by just a couple of minutes' is affecting the entire pickup process and if she can't honour her side and be on time then you'll have to drop her from the group.

One of my friends is terrible for time keeping and carpooling with her was a nightmare so I message her as I leave home "Leaving now, will be at yours at 10 past." so that she has been pre-warned - then when I arrive if she isn't at the curb/literally walking out of the door, I beep the horn and wait another 30 seconds or so and if there's still no sign of her at the door, then I just leave as she knows I can't wait any longer and it's her responsibility to get herself to work.

You don't have to but is there any way that instead of arriving at 7:10 and expecting her to be curbside, you arrive a few minutes before that and agree that if she isn't out by 7:10 then you leave? That way you are giving her a "pick up" that factors in her tendancy to faff for a couple of minutes and also allows for any minor time discrepancies between your clocks and hers.

When I lived in Madrid a friend of mine used to pick me up when we worked in a school out in the suburbs but rather than saying I'll pick you up at 8:10, she said "I'm leaving my house at 8:00 so I should be outside your building at 8:06 and if you're not out by 8:10 then I'm leaving. That way I would aim to be ready and waiting for her at 8:06 but if I was held up by something, like the lift up to the 10th floor being slow that day then I had a couple of minute leeway to either wait for it or run down the stairs before she left. It also meant that she could leave for the 6 minute journey to my house and stll be on time to pick me up even if she hit traffic or was a couple of minutes late leaving herself.

[ReginaGeorgeinSheepsClothing]

What would then happen if your car broke down and couldn't afford to repair it would your work make you take out a loan to do so to convey this colleague to work??

[TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork]

If they sack you for not bringing another employee to work thats an easy win at employment tribunal!

[Floggingmolly]

You can insist that the muppets accept that it's the idiot incapable of getting themselves to work without your assistance who is obstructing business needs, not you

[ShimmyOhoh]

You can refuse a warning? Would that then lead to instant dismissal?

[Floggingmolly]

Surely the car share is for convenience only? mainly Lisa's, it would seem There is absolutely no way that giving someone a lift confers upon you the responsibility to get them to work. That is complete nonsense.

[TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork]

Then your colleague should have refused to take any official warning. It wouldn't have stood up to any outside scrutiny at all.

[ShimmyOhoh]

It happened at my old workplace though TheOnlyLiving. I think my colleague was accused of obstructing business needs or something like that. Sickening!

[TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork]

Bear in mind that if you do drive to work without her and she is unable to get to work you may face disciplinary action at work if the company feels that it is your fault that she is not getting to work

Nonsense. You cannot get disciplinary action for refusing to make yourself late for work by waiting for someone else who works their. You are not in anyway responsible for anyone else getting to work.

[expatinscotland]

What Sidge said. I wouldn't tell her pick up is earlier, she's an adult not a teenager.

[loobyloo1234]

Tell her pick up change has been moved to 7am. Then get there at 7.10 - and she'll be there

[ShimmyOhoh]

Bear in mind that if you do drive to work without her and she is unable to get to work you may face disciplinary action at work if the company feels that it is your fault that she is not getting to work. This happened to a colleague of mine at a job a few years ago who refused to bring a colleague in any longer as she was always late to the place where he picked her up from. He got a warning over it!

[ChicRock]

If Lisa had to get a bus to work she'd damn well be at the bus stop on time and wouldn't dream of thinking the driver would double back to get her if she wasn't there on time.

She might be contributing financially - but it must still be costing her far less, both financially and time wise, to be part of the lift share.

Can't believe people are suggesting that you tell a fully grown adult an earlier 'fake' time to allow for her tardiness.

Just stop fannying around, if she's not there, drive on. It'll take 2 days max before she bucks up and learns the lesson.

[IamFriedSpam]

FloggingMolly OP said she contributes to petrol (although as a non-driver I always contributed more than the driver to petrol as they had to actually drive and pay insurance, upkeep on car etc.).

[Sidge]

This would drive me potty.

I'd tell her "I'll see you outside at 0710. If you're not there I won't be waiting and will leave and you'll have to make your own way to work."

Then aim to arrive at 0708, wait 2 minutes (there's nothing worse than standing out on the kerb in the cold and rain even if for 5 minutes, I'd wait inside looking out the window and run out as soon as I see someone pull up) and if she hasn't come out by 0710 then leave.

She'll soon learn.

[MaynJune]

Those of us who bother to be punctual waste far too much time being inconvenienced by the Lisas of this world.
Why on earth should you tell her to be out at 7.05? She's not a child. I wouldn't wait two minutes either. She should be out at the kerb a couple of minutes before you're due to arrive. If she's not there, don't stop.

[Kiroro]

I would tel her to be on the street at [5 mins to time to leave] and if she isn't there when you pull up then drive on by.

[Bluntness100]

I'd tell her 7.05 collection, then you know she will be ready.

[LemonBreeland]

As others have said you do just need to get strict with her. If she is not there just leave without her. I have a colleague who I occasionally take to meetings. She is rarely waiting outside and I have to sit and wait for. If I'm doing someone a favour I expect them to be courteous to not leave me waiting.

[blackcherries]

sorry harderandharder didn't mean to imply that!

[ReginaGeorgeinSheepsClothing]

1big do you have clone of my husband?? He does this all the time. Are you ready to go? Yep and I'll get shoes jacket on get baby in the sling I'll be standing at the front door with the keys in hand and then he will do the same thing, and then it's about 20 minutes before he actually at the door!!