Struggling with cat - rehoming?

[Kikikaakaa]

A dilemma. The cats behaviour:

Uses the shower as a toilet
Uses bathmat as toilet
Uses beds as toilet
Has a litter tray
Won't go outside in a normal cat manner but climbs out of high windows whenever gets a chance, gets stuck
Bullies other larger older cat constantly to the point where I think other cat has basically left home
Bites us violently when excited
Will not let anyone fall asleep, or sleep past 6am
Gets agitated if doors are closed on it (so, your bedroom door)
Constantly asking for food
Steals food constantly and Destroys food items (like loaves of bread that it doesn't eat)
Becomes very vicious when you worm/flea
Climbs on you constantly over and over but won't settle down
Licks itself obsessively

My DD would be upset to rehome her.

But I am the main carer for cat and I am at my wits end. I work full time and just don't think the cat is happy. I don't know how to get the cat to go out or stay outside either. It's only 4yo so I could have another 10 years of Bad Kitty. I can't afford pet behaviourist I don't think, and I am at the point where I don't feel affection because she is such hard work. I've tried Feliway and it doesn't help

But then I don't want to upset my daughter or contribute to overloaded cat shelters either.

AIBU to keep a cat just for my DD, or AIBU to find it a new home?

[user1487519954]

Could you just lock her outside for a bit? (in a safe place obviously)
This sounds a bit like one of our cats to be honest, she's just a bit mental! We took her to the vet and apparently she's stressed, now she has some special stuff in her food everyday, and at night she is locked downstairs with the cat flap open so she can go out, and the other (nice, sane) cat is locked upstairs.
Sometimes she does just have too much energy though, and just needs to chase a string for 20 minutes to tire her out, then she'll curl op on someone's lap and go to sleep. Do you play with yours?

[lalalalyra]

Does your older cat hang about your garden/outside? That could actually be not helping if the younger cat views him as trying to take/take back territory.

Have you tried a different vet? We used the same vet for years and years. He seemed fab, and was for 2 of the cats. First time we used a new vet she spotted something in the older cat that the other vet hadn't noticed and the result was a much happier kitty.

[hollinhurst84]

You can get meds. Mine was on clomipramine and is now on Prozac

[Kikikaakaa]

The older cat being indoors just makes this cat very excited and agressive, but other cat is outside 99% of the time and the problems are still there. Older cat growls and leaves the scene, rarely retaliates and never approaches. So young cat has 'won' the territory pretty much full on. I've thought about rehoming the other one but I really don't want to do that to her, I feel so sorry for her!

[Kikikaakaa]

The other cat does not go to the toilet indoors, ever - it's an outdoor cat. She also is fed outdoors as she doesn't want to come in. I usually get that one in if it's very cold out (but often she doesn't come home at all ) then separate them all night. Older cat happy to be confined to a safe warm place with no issues. She will just go out to go to the toilet and wouldn't even venture in the same room as the litter tray. I never leave them alone in the house together either, that would be mean, they are separated by doors closed or the older one goes out.

I think the seretonin thing sounds quite likely. It's like she's just always on the verge of bonkers. Totally hyperactive and agressive. I know it's not her fault I just am at my wits end trying to manage all the chaos she causes (wee, poo, broken things, escapes, violent outbursts, lack of all of our sleep).
Vet has been no help.
I have had an indoor cat before and the big fat lazy cat was totally content. IMO this one needs to learn to go out. It would give us all a break and she would run off some energy.

[kali110]

ChinChinCaroo cats can be perfectly happy indoors.
Ours now are mainly indoors, ( one is never allowed out) they are fine.
No signs of anxiety.
The cat that we had problems with was an outdoor cat!

[kali110]

Even if it rarely comes in, you still need to have a seperste litter tray amd food bowls or you're making the problem worse.
The poor cat sounds really stressed.
It's not doing it too piss you off. It's annoyed, i've been there, but it's not the cats fault.
We tried products from the vet first, but i rufus if they don't work.
I think it was called kalm-aid. We did use a drops from the pet shop that worked a treat but they stopped selling them, so you have options.

[ChinChinCaroo]

^ its sad that indoor cats are affected in this way Rufus. But understandable - not natural for cats to be stuck indoors all day.

[Rufus200]

There are medications for cats with anxiety and antidepressants as well! I would look for a vet with a specialty in animal behaviour. They can prescribe the correct drug to help. Do not go to a standard old fart vet, they won't help you and have zero interest or training in behaviour! Animal behaviourists can not prescribe drugs.

[Kikikaakaa]

It's awful to say it but I have begun to lose interest in trying to rehabilitate it. And I've had cats all my life and never given up on one. I didn't think it came from its mum too early, 10 weeks.

It's super friendly but never very calm, affection can make it very frienzied so no one wants to stroke it for long!

[ChinChinCaroo]

He might be better re-homed from what you've said, maybe somewhere rural.

[SharonStrzelecki]

Watching this with interest, we're having a similar problem. sorry I can't help.

[Kikikaakaa]

Other cat rarely comes indoors anymore as hates this other one so much

[ChinChinCaroo]

Sorry to hear all this OP. It sounds to me like the cat has major problems. It could be medical or anxiety. Where did he come from, do you know his history? Is he neutered? Some cats do not like sharing territory with other cats, and this could be contributing to problems.

If there is more than one cat you need at least two litter trays, completely separate food bowls, and so on. Otherwise cats can get territorial and start having litter and other problems.

I understand about bedroom time. I lock mine out now as otherwise he would wake me up at 7 a.m. Or jump on me "to play". I have bought a food timer to open at 6.30 a.m. so he doesn't associate me waking/getting up with being fed!

However, all this training and focus and research takes time and energy. Not everyone can provide that/cope with that. If you can't cope it is really time to take him to the Shelter where they might be able to help him, and possibly be re-homed with someone who has the time and/or space to deal with these issues.

[Kikikaakaa]

It's 4 and totally healthy. IMO it's just a nutty uncontrollable animal!

[Kikikaakaa]

Spayed!

It's always been like this, like it's slightly mentally unhinged with ADHD

No strays around.

It does have anxiety I agree, I've tried the spray and the plug in. The wee and poo is very very random and has no pattern and sometimes I think just because it fancies it! Clean litter tray every day, sometimes more.

Steals food because it can

It's one of those animals who is constantly running and playing and full of energy but freaks out if you put it outside, yet is always trying to climb out windows and on top of things, and dive bombing you, attacking you etc.

At the vets it just freaks out totally.

Sedation might be an answer

[GreyStars]

Sounds like an unwell cat to me. Have you taken it to the vet?

[witwootoodleoo]

I'd get the cat checked at the vet too.

How many litter trays do you have? What litter do you use and how often do you clean it? The general advice is one litter tray per cat plus an extra. You need to keep them very clean too as many cats won't use a litter box that isn't clean. Also clean up any accidents with an enzyme cleaner like Simple Solutions to avoid the cat going back to the same spot.

Zylkene is very good for anxiety in cats.

[SabineUndine]

It sounds like cat anxiety to me too. Has the cat always been like this? Has she been spayed?

[kali110]

I second the vet! Something sounds wrong. The obsessively licking itself sounds like there is something irritating it, or anxiety symptoms.
If vet gives you the all clear how about looking for ways to reduces the cats anxiety as it does sound stressed if it's weeing everywhere.
Look at different feliway products, which ones have you tried?
your vet will have products you can put in your cats food that will have natural sedatives in, ( nothing strong, basically the same as what is in the brand kalms, but for animals).
They both worked for our cat. He was old and ddn't like the new neighbours cats, he started weeing in places other than the litter tray.
Do you have two litter trays?
Could the other cat be using her litter tray?
Do you have a catFlap? Could a stray becoming? Stealing her food and upsetting her?( we had a stray combg in for months ).
First get her checked at the vet though.

[Mumumara]

Have you seen the vet? It could be a thyroid problem. My little girl cat has some similar tendencies but not that extreme but i have considered the possibility. It's understandable you don't want to live like that so I hope you have some luck with finding a way to resolve it